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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Overwhelmed by daughter growing up

19 replies

MacMum2627 · 05/05/2014 01:11

Today I was helping my daughter pack for coming home from uni for summer, and as I was putting her clothes and underwear into a suitcase I came across a box of contraceptive pills I had no idea she was taking? I feel a bit sad that she hasn't confided in me that she was taking them Sad should I talk to her or just leave it as she is now an adult and it is her life really?

OP posts:
Scousadelic · 05/05/2014 01:16

Bit of both. My DCs have always shared what they want to share but not been put under pressure to do more iyswim.

Maybe just tell her quietly that you saw the pills and, if she ever wants to talk to you, you will be there

NigellasDealer · 05/05/2014 01:17

she is at uni and you go and help her pack her underwear? OK

TheAwfulDaughter · 05/05/2014 01:25

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deepinthewoods · 05/05/2014 06:59

Bizarre post. Presumably the DD is 18 years old. What's the issue?

Original poster
MacMum2627 · 05/05/2014 10:56

Nigella, she's really busy with exams and her student housing is almost up so she asked me to help her pack up! Thanks Scous!

OP posts:
Nononon · 05/05/2014 11:00

She's an adult and being very sensible. It's not something that she would need to discuss with her mum at that age. Just feel proud that you have brought her up to take responsibility with regards to contraception.

Original poster
MacMum2627 · 05/05/2014 11:01

TheAwful you are right, I'm just being silly! Now that I've thought about it I'm glad she's being safe Smile

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 05/05/2014 11:01

The opposite of your situation is mine, OP, my 18 year old DS overshares with me. I feel like sticking my fingers in my ears when he starts talking to me about contraception/his sex life, but I listen and nod because I want him to feel he can always confide in me. I wish he would be a bit more delicate about it sometimes to save my blushes.

I know what you mean though, it's a bit sad when they grow up and it feels as though they are emotionally as well as geographically moving away from you.

JeanSeberg · 05/05/2014 11:08

Don't get these threads with the need to share the details of your children's sex lives, what with this thread and the one about how to best help her daughter know how to masturbate.

ForeskinHyena · 05/05/2014 11:09

When I was at uni I had a morning after scare. Went to the medical centre and the nurse said she encourages all girls to go on the pill for just that reason. She said that obviously condoms are best but when you're a bit drunk and not thinking straight, being on the pill is another level of protection and has more documented side effects etc than MAP.

I think you should be proud that your dd is being sensible, perhaps talk to her about using condoms as well. If she wasn't hiding the pills I presume she feels that you have a good honest open relationship so use that to your advantage and talk to her.

Nocomet · 05/05/2014 11:48

I have mixed feelings too. I wouldn't want details, but I'd want to know if she was having sex. I think.

DD1 is 16 and all this can't be far away.

I'm certain to end up sorting her packing at some point.

My DM must have nosed lightly in my toilet bag as she knew what method of contravening I used, and I was 20.

I didn't mind at all. DM had always looked out for us quietly, without interfering. That was her job.

Mrsjayy · 06/05/2014 08:53

I was putting stuff away in my dds drawer and her pill was in there she was nearly 18 I was a bit miffed she hadn't spoken to me but then I thought i didnt tell my mum i was having sex either I was just glad she was taking care of herself iyswim, it is a bit of an EEK moment though

Mrsjayy · 06/05/2014 08:55

Bowlersarm dd2 over shares she isnt having sex yet but god she tells me far to much Blush

NCISaddict · 06/05/2014 08:58

My 22 DD is packing to leave home for her first job atm, even though she's been away to uni I can't quite get my head round the fact that this is permanent, even though she'll still have a room here with stuff in it. A happy but sad moment.

Mrsjayy · 06/05/2014 09:05

My 21 yr was showing me flats yesterday I was really enthusiastic about it but was a wee bit sad

Bonsoir · 06/05/2014 09:08

Crikey. I don't think any mother should be packing for her adult DD (I don't pack for my 9 year old DD) or getting involved in her sex life.

Mrsjayy · 06/05/2014 09:14

TBF maybe the girl asked her mum to help get her ready to come home Bonsoir

crispyporkbelly · 06/05/2014 09:26

Did you tell your mum when you started taking the pill? I bloody didn't, how embarrassing would that convo go 'um thanks for telling me you're sexually active, dear, pass the biscuits'

Mrsjayy · 06/05/2014 09:28

we maybe think our daughters will be different somehow where in reality some would rather chew their arm off than talk to us about sex and contraceptives, give the op a break

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