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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

SMOKING IN BEDROOM!!!!

14 replies

smileyforest · 23/04/2014 16:13

I'm just FURIOUS!
Time and time again ...i have asked my son NOT to smoke in the bedroom and he continues to do it but lying about it....
He has recently had bedroom decorated....I do go in once a week to vacum...today...again...I found evidence...He came home from college and when I challanged him about it...all he could say was ....I wasn't supposed to go into his room...there is no privacy etc etc...its my house and my rules...I do not smoke....what can I do to stop this....Its getting me so angry and causing major fall outs...
Just popped into middle room (upstairs) which is a lounge area (bed settee) where his brother stays...and again..evidence of smoking when I have just TOLD HIM OFF..((((((: sick of it!!!!

OP posts:

OddBoots · 23/04/2014 16:18

This is probably a really stupid thing to do but in your place I would be very tempted to find the most floral and 'girly' febreeze type spray and daily spray his curtains, carpet and bedding.

Original poster

smileyforest · 23/04/2014 16:58

I will do that....hopefully he will get sick of it!!

OP posts:

LastingLight · 23/04/2014 17:05

I like OddBoots' idea. Where does your son get money for cigarettes, does he have a job?

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 23/04/2014 17:07

How old is your son, Smiley? I only ask because both of my teenagers chose to smoke (even though we don't and much to my dismay) but they knew they were not permitted to in the house. They both respected that, luckily for us, but could you threaten him with other sanctions if he continues to flaunt your rules?

As you say, your house your rules, if he doesn't like your rules, then find somewhere else to live!! (Relevant to his age, of course, but if under 18 then some other kind of consequence/withholding of privileges, or whatever)??

gamerchick · 23/04/2014 17:08

Take away his door until he learns.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 23/04/2014 17:16

gamerchick and OddBoots - both very good suggestions

Also maybe mention that any cigarettes (or associated paraphernalia) you find in his room may find their way into a glass of water unless he abides by your wishes.

Original poster

smileyforest · 23/04/2014 18:12

He is 17.5....Yes I will stop weekly pocket money...though just got a job...very..P/T...and not started yet (another story). I just cannot stand the lies and the obvious smell when I go on landing....his GF with him and knows he does it....have told him...he will have to find somewhere else to live if it continues......

OP posts:

specialsubject · 23/04/2014 18:18

tell him to stop insulting your intelligence by saying he doesn't smoke. You have a nose.

stop all money. Stop services such as washing and taxi. Remove door.

if he wants to be treated like an adult, he behaves like one. that means not assuming everyone else is a fool and respecting house rules. While he behaves like a toddler, he gets treated like a toddler.

apart from the stink, this is a fire risk.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 23/04/2014 18:30

Can you reach a compromise, maybe? You don't approve of him smoking, but as long as he goes OUTSIDE, then you will tolerate it. But it is not, under any circumstances, allowed indoors. And if he continues to do it, then he has to suffer the consequences, which will be most severe and far-reaching!

Outdoors = tolerable (although you don't like it)!
Indoors = absolutely not

jaysaway · 23/04/2014 19:11

I am not sure what taking his door away will achieve he is nearly 18 years old anyway stop giving him pocket money if he is going to smoke he can buy his own fags, tell him if he is insisting on smoking he must do it outside get him an ashtray and let him freeze his butt off in the rain. I know it is disrespectful to smoke in the house when you asked him not to but treat him like a grown up stop his money and tell him nobody is allowed to smoke in the house

specialsubject · 23/04/2014 20:57

removing the door makes it instantly obvious that he is lighting up.

not suggesting stopping him smoking - but also tell him that there's no magic curtain by the back door, he goes fifty metres away and downwind. If it is raining - well, how desperate a druggie is he?

Original poster

smileyforest · 23/04/2014 21:56

Spoke to him again....this eve....and did say i would remove door if it continues...(thought I was joking) said he smokes herbal cigarettes now....so healthier!!?? and dont smell....But REPEATED...it must stop...told him it disappoints me that he can't stick to the rules...I have a lodger too and she isn't allowed to smoke....Thanks for all the replies...I do treat him like an adult....but this one thing infuriates me and I hate lies....

OP posts:

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 24/04/2014 14:03

Any smoking in the house poses a potential fire risk and he needs to understand that no smoking in the house means just that, herbal or otherwise. Your rule, he needs to abide by it.

(And some "herbal" stuff absolutely stinks, anyway - a discussion for another thread)

I'm pleased to hear that he's at least starting to listen to you, Smiley! Good luck

farmmachinegirl · 01/05/2014 17:17

It is rude and unacceptable to smoke in a non-smokers house. He should know this. Puff away on the doorstep outside by all means but not in your house.

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