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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Would you let your daughter go to this party?

83 replies

MaryRose · 10/04/2014 16:09

Don't know if I'm being overprotective! DD, 13, has been invited to a party by a girl she claims is 'one of her best friends' but in reality she has been shopping with once. I haven're met the girl and she doesn't go to DD's school. I insisted DD showed me the Facebook invite, transpires it is a house party and around 200 kids seen to have been invited. No clue on supervision from adults and no way to find out. Invite also says 'bring your own drink' which could be innocuous...but then again. We are leaning heavily towards 'm way' cue one very unhappy teen which I can't bear. Opinions please?

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryRose · 10/04/2014 16:47

Oh Jesus just read the other thread!! Poor parents!

OP posts:
TheZeeTeam · 10/04/2014 16:49

Actually, I wouldn't even say no. I would just laugh and say, "Yeah. Good try!"

GreatUncleEddie · 10/04/2014 16:49

Of course not! Can't believe you're even considering it!

NettoSuperstar · 10/04/2014 16:52

Er no.

Eastpoint · 10/04/2014 16:52

No. She's 13 and it sounds like a recipe for disaster.

morethanpotatoprints · 10/04/2014 16:52

May seem extreme, but it happens.
How would you feel if she had sex and became pregnant?
No way would any child of mine gone to such a party, male or female.
You are in charge, its your job to upset your children Grin
Good luck with the fall out if you decide against, it will be worth it. Thanks for you.

Original poster
MaryRose · 10/04/2014 16:56

She's not going, no way! Much sulking here, I've ruined her life, everyone will hate her etc etc.....worrying thing is I contacted a Mum of one of the lads I know is going and she said she was letting her son go and she was sure it would be fine. Hmmm...she seems such a sensible woman!!!

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 10/04/2014 17:04

No. A million times no.

Original poster
MaryRose · 10/04/2014 17:07

'all' her friends are going. Are these parents mad???

OP posts:
GreatUncleEddie · 10/04/2014 17:09

It won't be fine. If you know the surname and address, are the family in the phone book? You could phone and "ask about the arrangements" (and then the parents would be aware if their little darling's plans).

anklebitersmum · 10/04/2014 17:09

NO! Not in a zillion years for DD, or DS come to that.

I've told mine that my job is to protect them from themselves and DS knows he can look forward to it for years to come yet Grin

I have seen the dreadful, police involved consequences of an 'it'll be fine' approach with a very similar situation at the same age.

And yes, those parents are mad.

VeryStressedMum · 10/04/2014 17:11

My dds are 13/14 there's no way I'd let them go. Bring your own drink??!!

Original poster
MaryRose · 10/04/2014 17:16

Just spoke to her dad (we're divorced) and he was in complete agreement and said DD was welcome to use him as an excuse as she is meant to be staying at his this weekend...this was met with 'm I'm just telling everyone mum is being tight and not letting me go, I hate you'. Oh dear. First time I've ever had a direct 'I hate you'....

OP posts:
Timeforabiscuit · 10/04/2014 17:17

haha haha ha

not. a. chance.

and yes to 101 the police with the open invite, they'll be able to contact the parents and keep an eye on it.

Timeforabiscuit · 10/04/2014 17:19

Document the first I hate you! It will be the gift that keeps on giving I suspect.

Or say yes and attend with her as its an open invite Grin

specialsubject · 10/04/2014 17:25

'bring your own drink' at 13?

it might just as well say 'vomit all over the carpets'.

hope the parents can be warned.

let her sulk. That will teach her to insult your intelligence with the 'best friend' thing.

anklebitersmum · 10/04/2014 17:26

Better an "I hate you" than a "Why didn't you say no?" and years of self-recriminations if something dreadful happened to her.

All the other teenies know I'm a strict meanie. Just like my Mother was.

I wear it with pride very much like Mum did Wink

bigTillyMint · 10/04/2014 17:30

I wonder if the host girls parents know about this party. 200 guests bringing their own drink?! All aged 12/13 or maybe slightly older? You did the right thing saying no. Parents who are happy for their DC to go are either deluded or fine with them smoking weed/drinking vodka/getting down and dirty.

There were 13year olds having parties like this when DD was that age. There were some lurid tales about them from DD who never wanted to go/got invited. Now some in DS's year group seem to be doing the same, with similarly lurid tales. Thankfully, he doesn't want to get involved.

GraduallyGoingInsane · 10/04/2014 17:38

Definitely no way! I have a 13 year old and anything that said 'bring your own drink' would be an automatic no. That is a recipe for the police getting called and at least one kid ending up having his or her stomach pumped.
I'd rather it wasn't mine in A&E thanks!

Theas18 · 10/04/2014 17:41

Nope!

I wouldn't even want my 18yr old there, though I'd have less say ! I'd kind of hope he'd realise it wasn't a brilliant idea.

It's definitely a "my mother says I can't go and I hate her for it" sort of thing, but I'm actually thinking, at least with my youngest there would be a "phew I don't have to go" behind the brash Mum blaming.

Mine all know if they ever want a get out of anything without loosing face they can use the "My mother says no and I hate her for it" line

NorbertDentressangle · 10/04/2014 17:48

No way.

Onesieone · 10/04/2014 17:53

My son is 14. There is not a chance he would be going to this. 200 kids at a house party??? Where do they live? A castle?

plipplops · 10/04/2014 17:57

No chance.

ashtrayheart · 10/04/2014 17:57

Say no but be aware of future requests to 'sleep over at a friends' to cover the real intention Grin

Theas18 · 10/04/2014 18:03

Oh yes ashtrayheart!

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