Missing my babies

[Englishrose70]

Anyone else hitting this wall, 6months after DD left for Uni, 12 months after DS moved out and in with his girlfriend. Just missing them terribly ATM. Probably not helped by my marriage break up a year ago a year ago ad well (another story - his affair!). Evenings alone are the worst and just feel like my purpose in life has gone :-(

My circumstances not exactly like yours, but I can empathise. It's not very original, but I think keeping as busy as you possibly can is the way to go in the short term - yoga, cinema (by yourself if necessary), evening class, sewing- anything that passes the evening. I'm not surprised you feel adrift at the moment- you've been through an awful lot.

Thank you, just having a bit of a downer this week. Generally keep busy but just hate the quiet house in the evenings, weird to go from a full house to being on my lonesome in such a short space of time but I know it will get better x

You're right- it will get better! But it's natural to miss the hurly burly of your family all living at home. Not long till the Easter holidays- hopefully your daughter will come home for a bit then. x

If it's any comfort, I read a similar post on another forum a couple of years ago...within a fortnight the poster had had a visit from her offspring and was being driven mad by the noise, the mountains of laundry and the general ensuing chaos. I think she was quite glad to get her house back after they returned to uni.

That's a lot of change in a very short space of time, Englishrose! I think I'd be reeling, if it were me. I'm getting a fore-taste of it, since I'm a single parent, DS1 is now 18 and out over night quite often, and DS2 goes to his dad's two nights a week. It's odd to be in the house alone, as I was last night for example, after years of full-time parenting and chaos! I've started to appreciate our dog a bit more!

Looking forewards, when they've both left home in five years or so, I think I may go traveling more. Write more. Garden more. Sit quietly more. I think many people in this situation fill up their extra time with work, but really, not many people actually want to work more, do they?!

I think of all those things I wanted to do but couldn't when they were little... I'll do some of those . :)

I understand where you are coming from OP. My DS1 ( aged 21) moved to a flat last summer. In a sense I miss him but I realise that moving on is positive and as it should be. He lives nearby and I see him once a week for coffee/ lunch and I feel we have a more adult relationship now.

DS2 is 14 and for all we see of him he may well have left home. He enjoys solitary confinement in his room and conversation is limited to say the least. Nevertheless I will miss him terribly when the time comes for him to leave home.

A lot of my work has been with parents and carers who struggle to achieve independent living for their offspring. In that context I feel very grateful that my sons are in a position to move out and move on.