Not remembering to feed pets, etc

[ParsleyTheLioness]

DD 16 is not brilliant at remembering to feeding the pet degus who both in her cave room. I try and check on them most days, but I take responsibility for the other animal (granted one who will let you know she requires food) and between working, housework, being a lone parent yada yada. I have stopped pocket money in increments of £1 before now for this sort of thing, but I am thinking that as she has £15 pweek plus phone etc that this is not enough. Can't think of any other sanctions. This is among a number of things, many involving very poor time management, that has a knock on affect on everything...eg she was late back from town the other day, and was going on a booked activity with DP's teenager, and it therefore involved late pick up of other girl, nearly being late, and not being able to take frozen shopping out of car in between etc. She has a degree of dyslexia, which does make this more difficult for her, but surely everyone shouldn't have their lives a bit chaotic becuase of it?

Dyslexia isnt an excuse about animal care.

Have you talked to her firmly about neglect being a form of animal cruelty? If she cant look after her pet then you will have to look at having it re-homed.

The general disorganisation is something she should be learning to manage now. My DS is 15 with a degree of dyslexia which seems to mean that he struggles with time. To cope with this he regularly asks when things are going to be. This may be something today or something in a month's time (he cant remember the order of the months).

Constant nagging seems to feature a lot for us. Also consequences if he isnt ready for something meaning that he doesnt go or goes in a rush and ill-prepared (not a good look in cadets!).

He is getting better and if it is something he is interested in then generally he is prepared on time. It helps that he has a focus now. He wants to join the army so he knows that he needs to get certain GCSEs. He will need a good reference from has commanding officer at cadets so this too keeps his toe on the line.

To sum up: nag, nag, nag and also animal cruelty is unacceptable

Good points. I do nag, but bore myself honestly! One of the problems with time management is that she thinks she can fit more in than she can. With going to town in the morning before the example activity in OP, I should have said, 'No, you don't have time'. What I say was, 'You must be back for two'. I anticipated she would be cutting be fine, but I didn't want an argument. She had then not factored in bus times, which meant a 10 mile detour to pick her up. I avoid confrontation, in this case about not going to town, then it comes back to bite me on the bum. I need to grow a pair...

I know a lady whose son has ADHD. He kept forgetting to feed his dog so one day she just didn't feed him. He got the message.

Interestingly Lasting I do suspect there might be some degree of ADHD there.Good idea, I will 'forget' to make tea tonight. She never eats the fairly wholesome stuff that I make, or DP makes (quote, 'I'm glad you have now DP to feed your weird stuff to') so we won't starve :). Thanks all!

I have now learnt that degus is the plural of degu, and what it is!!

I find that they also live for years so this is not going to be a short-term problem. I think you need to stop all pocket money and amputate phone (replace with a simple talk and text one if she really needs one) until this problem is reliably solved.

Specialsubject, thanks. I think they are lovely and very entertaining animals....ironically, they were picked partly due to their longevity....after the cat died.

Any way to use her phone to give her reminders?

Can it beep at certain times -- i.e. to tell her it is time to go and get the bus home if she wants to get home before 2, or to remind her it is time to feed and water the pet? It's always possible to just be completely lazy and ignore technology of course.

Or could you say 'You need to catch the bus home at/before X time' instead of 'Be back for two' since being back for two requires her to catch a bus some time before two, and she seems incapable of planning ahead (or mentally working backwards in her mind from two o'clock) to get the final outcome that is needed.

That's a point Matha. Her phone is more sophisticated than mine, but I'll see if I can set something in calendar or similar. Thanks.