Walked in on son undressed on webcam

[leapyleo]

Help! I've just walked into my 14 yr old son's room (he obviously wasnt expecting me). He was half undressed (top half) and said someone on webcam asked him to take his top off (a girl he knows). I've confiscated his phone and turned off the PC but how should I deal with this? I've kept very calm so far and said we'll discuss when his dad gets home.

top half,
on a boy,
imo it is very common.

I think you might be over reacting just a tad.

Why didn't you knock at your son's door?

Was it "I'll show you mine if you show me yours"? We would be having a conversation if that was the case. Otherwise, it doesn't seem like that big a deal?

My d. niece is 13 and was asked to take her clothes off by her friends bf. Needless to say CID now have everything she owns with access to the internet. Boy was 17.
My dc have not been allowed unsupervised access to the internet until 16. It's the best way, unless you are prepared for whatever the consequences are.
This sounds quite innocent, but next time it might not be.
Why not try having internet downstairs in public areas?

I wanted to see what people's views were as it's the first time I've come across this sort of thing. I realise it was only top half but what I don't know is how far it would have gone or what the girl had taken off (if anything). I usually do knock on his door before going in, I really don't know why I didn't this time, as I appreciate he needs some privacy, but not if he's going to strip off!

Fuddy duddy here but webcams at 14? Argh. Net access in family rooms only from now on I think ( with my usual caveat that a cheap net capeable for and a 3 SIM P+G would give net access that you wouldn't know anything about so agreement rather than forcing the issue )

Are you suretit was actually a girl? Did you see her? Apart from the obvious I would be worried it would be used to bully /blackmail him with.

Yes it was definitely a girl and he tells me one he knows, not someone new. I guess I find it tricky to know how to handle it because of all the technology these days - he was on his phone, not a PC, although I made him turn of his computer as interim punishment and I've confiscated his phone till I decide how to handle it.

I should add that he doesn't have a webcam on his PC.

Sounds pretty innocent - I be the is mortified! Make sure he understands the risks I pictures being used/shared in ways he may not have intended. Move computer to common area in the house. Agree rules around personal space such as knocking and waiting if bedroom doors are closed.

Can you confirm it was this girl from his recent calls/FaceTime etc?

If so I'd be gently discussing what sort of conversation led to this?

Chances are its harmless, but you are right to be concerned.

Taking the optimistic view, this is nothing this girl could not have seen at any sports event, a hot summers day or at a swimming pool!

That's why it might just have Ben a daft conversation between teenagers,

Been....

It was his top half, not his penis! Massive overreaction in my opinion. He'd take his shirt off in public, wouldn't he?

would you not knock? what if he had been having a tug?

I also think you over reacted - IME it's quite common for boys to take topless selfies or skype with their tops off if they're quite proud of their six pack.

I think you've just probably made absolutely certain that he is more discrete next time and won't talk to you about problems or issues for fear of your disapproval.