What makes teenagers difficult?

6 replies

MamaPingu · 20/02/2014 23:12

I don't remember being a particularly difficult teenager (most of the time anyway) but I most probably was!

I currently have a 6 month old DS and I've been daydreaming about the teenage years imagining how our lives will be.

What makes teenagers difficult? The more threads I read on here the more I feel I may be deluded to think the teenage years sound a breeze!

OP posts:

chocoluvva · 20/02/2014 23:44

It'll be fine.

Despite my many threads bemoaning my teenage DD's latest 'situation' or stubbornness I'm enjoying the teenage stage more than the pre-school days!

LaurieFairyCake · 20/02/2014 23:47

It's not hormones though their developing brain does throw up some interesting behaviour.

Its the struggling for identity that makes them act irrationally and erratically. They don't know how they want to 'be' - they just know that it changes from moment to moment.

chocoluvva · 20/02/2014 23:57

They have a need to feel they can make their own decisions and will sometimes make poor ones in order to do that.

cory · 21/02/2014 09:16

Teenagers are like other people: individuals. With their own individual strengths and their own individual problems. Yes, there are brain changes and hormone changes which can exacerbate odd behaviour- but then you could say the latter about the menopause too.

(I was a teenager at the same time as my mother went through the menopause and I can tell you, whoever behaved like a teenager in our house it wasn't me... Thirty years later, I am going through the menopause and it doesn't seem to leading to many mood swings, so maybe I'm just not sensitive to them.)

My own teens so far:

dd (17) has suffered severe anxiety all her life and been prone to mood swings (very like my mother). She got worse during her early teens. But she has always been a pleasant person in herself, well spoken, with a great sense of humour, empathetic and willing to understand other people's pov. That's clearly who she is and the teen years made no difference to that.

ds (13) got noticeably more moody during the pre-teen years and more prone to challenging authority. But also a kindly person who supported his sick sister, made friends at school and was polite to teachers. Having now gone through puberty, he is noticeably happier and more at ease with his new-found maturity. He has learnt to use humour to diffuse awkward situations and is getting very good at negotiating without hurting people's feelings. Looking good so far.