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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

caught my teenage son on this "4chan" website..

26 replies

Adreayend1980 · 13/01/2014 21:14

I accidentally found out my son has been browsing this sort of an image board, full of porn, gore and offensive content. I am disgusted and scared. What could have this site done to my child? I spoke to him today and he's telling me he has no idea what I'm talking about!! What do I do? I want hm to STOP going on this website!

OP posts:
HowardTJMoon · 13/01/2014 21:24

Have you got any Internet filtering system on his computer? If not, why not?

iheartdusty · 13/01/2014 21:26

why did you post the link?

AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 13/01/2014 21:27

YY dusty.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 13/01/2014 21:27

.

tracypenisbeaker · 13/01/2014 21:35

Your post is a bit thin. How old is he? Do you allow his unsupervised access? Have you discussed internet safety?

He may have been on 4chan because he has heard a lot about it. Its one of those sites where a lot of 'memes' originate from, and has a huge following. Thats why i went on it, but then i stopped as soo as i realised it was oretty much no hold barred/ unmoderated. I just didnt realise. Maybe that is what happened here?

Please tighten up your parenting controls if you havent already done so. Its amazing how many parents are clueless about what their kids are up to/ able to access. My own parents are like this with my brothet- he has so many ways of accessing the internet in the privacy of his room, and he is 14. It makes me so mad because they are apathetic about it.

MNHQ
CatherineMumsnet · 13/01/2014 21:36

Hi there, we've taken the link to the site out our the OP as we didn't think it was appropriate.

As you were...

homework · 14/01/2014 07:42

Even with parental controls on most boys of 14/16 know how to get round these sites . Especially the ones who are high flyers at computer sciences .

It's more important that you speak with your child about what is normal behaviour in regards to sexual experiences , and stuff that is way not there. Also about relationships and respect of there partner .

At this age there curious about everything , and due to the existence of the web , this type of stuff is going to be readily available . Blocking sites works for younger kids , communication is going to be key to dealing with older teens . As technology advances , so does there ability to do what we rather they didn't.

MrsBright · 14/01/2014 08:00

Serious talk time ..

First reassurance - 'its okay to want to look at pictures of women's bodies, that's normal for a boy of your age. but not THIS', then why not.

Two themes - 'whats on the Net, and why we don't go looking for it', 'sexual violence/normal sexual experience'.

And get some filters on your pooters. If you won't protect him from this stuff, who will?

mistyolen · 16/01/2014 01:21

I agree with most others on here about installing filtering software. As far as your question of What could this site have done to my child? Probably nothing serious. Just think about it, when we were kids we had older siblings or kids telling us about sex stuff. It didn't do anything to us other than teach us about the world. Don't forget to stay calm and understand that of course teenagers are going to be curious. It is unlikely there is any lasting damage.

Get that filtering software and talk to him. Just let him know he isn't wrong, but you don't think it's appropriate for him to be doing that at home so you are taking these steps to stop it in the future.

credence · 16/01/2014 01:27

More to the point given it is 4chan; discuss seriously the dangers of hacking and make sure he knows how to stay out of jail because he can learn all sorts and may not realise what is legal and what is not. 4chan is famous for online vigilante shenanigans and your ds needs to understand the concept of innocent until proven guilty etc!

mrscumberbatch · 16/01/2014 01:46

Calm down first of all.

You do realise that 4chan is not all gore and porn?

It can actually be a very funny, informative, political and silly community.

It is huge. There are so many boards. The one that causes the most issues tends to be /b.

Find out exactly why he wanted access to 4chan. If its to make memes of cats then fine. Millions of people use it every day without looking at grim stuff.

It's lack of Internet savvy that can cause ructions between older generations and this current 'brought up on the Internet' generation.

Have a conversation about it.

mrscumberbatch · 16/01/2014 01:49

Also 4chan is not 'famous for hacking'. Anonymous is.

And anonymous doesn't just dwell on 4chan. There's probably mumsnetters that are part of anonymous. It's not a malevolent thing, but there are some that like to cause ructions.... So same as on Mumsnet really!

KissesBreakingWave · 16/01/2014 02:14

4Chan isn't just /b/, who are the actual arsehole of the internet, and on bad nights a good way up it. /tg/ is tabletop games - your miniatures wargaming and roleplaying and so forth, and is a perfectly reasonable 'net destination for a teenage boy. /mlp/ is for My Little Pony, for crying out loud. There's nearly fifty boards on there, about half a dozen of which are porn. What you have here is a teachable moment about whether he wants to be in the arsehole of the internet with the other turds or, say, on /lit/ learning something about books.

Jayam · 17/01/2014 21:24

4chan isn't really all that bad for the most part, some boards on the site while not as serious and thoughtful as could be, are loaded with good information and discussions, like /fit/ for example, although they all have their quirks, not really sure which board your son browses and his age, but that's probably the random one, there's a lot more to it than porn and gore, frankly most people just filter out those. The site can be dangerous and it can't it just depends on the user I guess. My suggestion would be to not confront him about it, like don't expect an answer out of him, I know if I was in his position I would outright deny it also, but if he's still somewhat young and not a borderline adult, I would definitely do all I can to keep him off the site(if he's 16/17 he'll just find ways around it :/)

WolverineWolfy · 19/01/2014 17:40

He may have been on a website which uses pop-up ads, and that one may have popped up? Check whether he has been on it more than once, and if he goes to more than one page.

HowardTJMoon · 20/01/2014 13:38

4Chan doesn't advertise.

itsMoonMan · 02/01/2016 16:22

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FourStarDragonBall · 05/02/2016 18:40

You have a teenage son and don't expect him to watch porn... ok

wojack · 08/04/2018 17:18

Has he tried to cash in his good boy points for tendies yet, normie?

Heemman · 29/03/2019 14:41

Let's be real here...
There's stuff on the internet that he's gonna see whether you like it or not. If you try to strangle his access to it now, you'll just be making it worse. He'll get bored of 4chan eventually because it's really not as bad as you make it out to be. Strict parents create sneaky children. My friend alex has been smoking since he was 16 and his parents still don't know about it. So instead of tightening up defenses... Just let the kid do his thing. Talk to him about the stuff and explain to him "hey buddy... I taught you the difference between wrong and right, and i trust you." that's it... As long as you trust him to be responsible. And if you do catch him being irresponsible with this freedom... Discipline him not by taking away freedom. But rather restricting privileges such as wifi or something like that.

Andrea1234567 · 29/03/2019 15:27

There are tons of 4chan boards, from Anime to politics, however the area is very unmoderated and can have some 'controversial content' (Nazism on /pol/, Lolicon on the Anime boards ect.)

I'd try learn more about what threads and boards he's on Before you go guns blazing

Andrea1234567 · 29/03/2019 15:29

@wojack he still has the HWNDU flag in his room Wink

gjhkdfs · 27/06/2020 22:43

It's got more than what you've described (Antisemitism, homophobia, genuine murdered people) and I can understand why you don't want him on that site so much. You could block it from his computer but as much as you want to protect him from things of that nature, he's got to see it at some point. There's always the risk he develops the hateful views of the people who use the site but he shouldn't be sheltered from those things his whole life. It would be worse if he never encounters something nasty until his adult life and not know how to handle it emotionally and stuff, plus even if you did block 4chan he'd probably find a way to find it again

BarbedBloom · 27/06/2020 23:34

4chan has some horrible parts, same as reddit and many other sites do. I like the paranormal stuff on there and am on Reddit all the time. The truth is you can try and keep teens away from bad stuff but it is far more sensible to talk to them about what they might see and educate them about things.

I have said before, I work with teens. Even those with the strictest filtering programs on their computers and phones see stuff via friends who don't have filters. Even in the 90s there was an underground playground situation in school where people traded books and pages from magazines.

Filter as much as you can, but like with contraception, protection doesn't mean skipping out on conversations.

ElGuardiandenoche · 27/06/2020 23:35

ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT

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