Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

If your 15 year old DD shaved off all her pubic hair, what would your thoughts be?

109 replies

sandyballs · 05/01/2014 18:47

This isn't about my DDs as they are slightly younger, but a friends DD and I'm interested as it won't be long until I'm having worrying teenage ishoos!

She has a boyfriend, quite a new relationship, same age, and my initial reaction was ..... he has watched too much porn and expects this from girls. Friend thinks it is all still quite innocent and this is her preference for her body rather than any pressure.

Thoughts please.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/01/2014 21:46

Lots of men remove their facial, chest, back and pubic hair.

It's just personal choice.

PortofinoRevisited · 05/01/2014 21:48

Why is it patronising to encourage people to think about it? That is far from patronising surely?

KareKare · 05/01/2014 21:50

My 16 yr old god daughter shaves all of hers off, as do all of her friends apparently.

Catsofa · 05/01/2014 21:54

She's 15? It's curiosity.

No reason to think it's anything to do with her boyfriend's opinions about what a woman should look like. Or nothing in your original post, anyway.

"I would think 'man you're going to get itching you'll never forget' and chuckle a bit." - EXACTLY.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 05/01/2014 21:57

Because you're automatically assuming that women don't, and many many do. People are much more aware nowadays of the impact of advertising, media etc. It's just seems like 'I know all about it but you obviously dont so educate yourself'.

PortofinoRevisited · 05/01/2014 22:16

Where is the media advertising that says you need to shave your pubes though? It never used to be a requirement.

MostWicked · 05/01/2014 22:48

30 years ago, as a teen, I shaved my pubes. Nothing to do with porn, the only porn I had seen, everyone was hairy. Nothing to do with boyfriends. I just wanted to shave it because I didn't like it. No social pressures, just didn't like it.
I was rubbish at it and it itched so I didn't do it often.

As a woman, I now know how to do it and I shave regularly, it doesn't itch. It's not because of social pressures, just because I prefer it smooth.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 05/01/2014 23:03

portofino is that a serious question?

pumpkinsweetie · 05/01/2014 23:11

I used to shave my bikini line and sometimes all of it off at the same age because it felt better and was better for going swimming.

I still shave now, feels better, especially when menstruating as my sanis can cling to stray hairs and oh boy does that hurtConfused

So this teen could be a regular swimmer, or be irritated by her pubic hairs, don't blame males straight away! I shave my legs, and my pubes and not for a man because i can't stand being hairy!

livinginawinterwonderland · 06/01/2014 07:45

I shaved mine when I was about that age because I swam and I didn't want everyone seeing my pubes! It itched like buggery but I was too embarrassed to go and get waxed or to ask my mum for any hints because I knew she left hers natural.

When I quit swimming, I quit shaving, but I started again recently because, well, frankly, it makes stuff in the bedroom better! But that wasn't really on my mind at 15.

I also find it a bit weird that people discuss this. I'd be furious if my mum discussed my shaving habits with her friends!

NoComet · 06/01/2014 08:06

If it was my DD1(15) I would certainly ask why, she's not one to give herself extra work and/or discomfort just because it's fashionable.

If it was DD2 I doubt I'd know. At 12, I very very rarely see her without knickers, by 15 I'm certain I won't. DD1 is much more relaxed.

Vidaloca · 06/01/2014 08:15

My 14 year old has been shaving her punani since she was 12/13. I have tried my utmost to discourage her, even getting her to listen to Caitlin Moran's treatise on the subjects of proper muffs. It seems like the more I take issue with it the more of her body hair she tries to remove (went through a phase of shaving get arms ffs, and plucking her eyebrows like a 1920's film actress). Teenagers!

Vidaloca · 06/01/2014 08:19

Can I add - total pubic hairlessness is now the cultural norm for under 20's.

MostWicked · 06/01/2014 09:06

Can I add - total pubic hairlessness is now the cultural norm for under 20's.

I wouldn't say it's the cultural norm. I think it is pretty common for women of all ages - and it is clear from this thread, that many women have been doing it for a very long time.

NoComet · 06/01/2014 15:07

I must confess that before I came on MN, I had no idea pubic hair was such an issue. I was vaguely aware women who wore ridiculously tiny bikinis need to shave, wax a lot of it away and that was called a Brizilian, but that sounded painful and I hate bikinis.

I still boggle at the idea that people consider the state of their 'lady gardens, brush, or what ever stupid name you want to give it' before a smear or giving birth.

Mine gets trimmed so it stays within my swimming costume and that's it.

Back2Basics · 06/01/2014 15:49

I always have a shave before a smear haha

Ubik1 · 06/01/2014 16:43

I think you should just let them get on with the daft shaving of pubes - it's just a fashion thing, like piercing nipples or shaving off your eyebrows.

I would be more anxious about teenagers sexual expectations of each other...

So:

I would be keen to make sure that my daughters are confident enough to have sex on their own terms

I would be trying to get them to understand that pornography is not like a real sexual relationship

JessMcL · 07/01/2014 00:57

Why does it have to be from a boyfriend or friend? Maybe she has read it online. Maybe her mum does it and she wanted to.

On another issue...why is your friend looking at a 15 year old naked? I'm not saying its perverted or anything- just odd? Does she has no respect for her privacy? I wouldn't of wanted my Mum looking at my ladygarden at 15! Hell, my DD is 10 and I stopped helping her in the bath 2 years ago and helping her get dressed a year ago!

AnyFucker · 07/01/2014 01:06

How would I feel, honestly, if my 15yo shaved all of her pubes off ?

Disappointed.

BaronessBomburst · 07/01/2014 01:20

But why would you feel disappointed, AF?

I shaved all mine off at about the same age out of curiosity. I shave it now (in my forties) because I prefer it that way. It's got sod all to do with men, porn or cultural norms. Actually I shave my pubic hair more than my legs because my legs don't bother me.

This is precisely one of the reasons I gave up on the feminist boards.

BOFalicious · 07/01/2014 01:26

I genuinely don't see it as my business, especially if it's the daughter of a friend.

I have conversations with my own teenage daughter, and obviously hope that some of my feminism takes root, but I respect her agency when it comes to control of her own body.

NigellasDealer · 07/01/2014 01:27

good grief i wouldn't even know about it if my teenage daughter did this.....her body after all.
although i would probably blame media/porn/Miley cyrus

LoveAndDeath · 07/01/2014 01:40

I really coudn't have any respect for a woman who had Peter Andre shaved into her pubes.

AnyFucker · 07/01/2014 11:48

BB, I don't make a habit of ignoring people that address me personally but I don't have the energy today to go into why, for the zillionth time, I would be disappointed that a 15yo had shaved all her pubes off

although it has to be said if you purely avoid the feminism board because people might put up strong arguments as to why we shouldn't be turning a blind eye to the pornification of our young people, then you are being rather silly (and perhaps not too secure in your own argument as to why it is ok)

NigellasDealer · 07/01/2014 11:55

This is precisely one of the reasons I gave up on the feminist boards
because you shave your pubes off? did i get that right?