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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

If your 15 year old DD shaved off all her pubic hair, what would your thoughts be?

109 replies

sandyballs · 05/01/2014 18:47

This isn't about my DDs as they are slightly younger, but a friends DD and I'm interested as it won't be long until I'm having worrying teenage ishoos!

She has a boyfriend, quite a new relationship, same age, and my initial reaction was ..... he has watched too much porn and expects this from girls. Friend thinks it is all still quite innocent and this is her preference for her body rather than any pressure.

Thoughts please.

OP posts:
Queeniethecorgi · 05/01/2014 19:12

Speaking from bitter experience, maybe she knows because some teens aren't brilliant at remembering to rinse the tub after they've done it in the past...

IamInvisible · 05/01/2014 19:13

If that's your initial reaction you obviously have a very low opinion of teenage boys and I find that very sad, tbh.

If I was the young girl I would be really pissed off with my mum for discussing something so personal to me with her friend.

Back2Basics · 05/01/2014 19:15

Why is it sad? So bloody patronising and passive aggressive to say its sad to be able to do what you want to your own hair.

I think it's really sad that some women feel sad and actually care about another's pubes. I really don't care about anyone's and I say this while rocking my 70s bush. cos I need new razor blades

Fairylea · 05/01/2014 19:17

I agree Iam.

I don't know why people always leap to assume it's the horrible sex pest teenage boys watching porn that puts pressure on the girl to lose the pubes after wanking off to porn for hours on end. It's such a sexist view of the male species.

Are we all assuming girls and women don't have a choice and a brain? Maybe she's doing it just because she wants to. Or maybe she's been watching porn!

gamerchick · 05/01/2014 19:19

I would think 'man you're going to get itching you'll never forget' and chuckle a bit.

Thasall.

ChazzerChaser · 05/01/2014 19:21

Yes I had a choice and a brain. Alongside inexperience, youth and an older boyfriend who knew how to exert pressure. These aren't mutually exclusive.

IamInvisible · 05/01/2014 19:21

Are you talking to me Back2Basics?

I find the attitude of the OP towards teenage boys sad, not the fact that the girl has shaved her pubic hair. If that's what she wants to do, she should feel free to do it.

unlucky83 · 05/01/2014 19:23

My DD at 12 has shaved hers off more than once Sad - she is hairy, dark coarse hair and has been doing her legs and armpits for years - sometimes I think she does her arms too...no boyfriends etc - I think it is the celeb thing...she watches things the Kardashians ...
Its not from home - I don't shave anything - used to do legs and armpits and still do sometimes but not often - I'm just not very hairy anyway...never touch my pubic hair - no trims etc - always thought until quite recently it was an 'odd' thing to do. She also plucks her eyebrows a little - something else I've never bothered doing but my DSis does.
She said she did it because she was itchy ...I told her she would be even more itchy when it grew back and she might get shaver's rash ...now it looks like she just trims ...
My biggest worry is her using razors ...I have an ancient ladyshave and she used to sneak that so I've told her she can use that as much as she likes ...otherwise she dry shaves with a men's razor Shock - I have to hide them away ....Sad

IamInvisible · 05/01/2014 19:23

Or Chazzer there might be no pressure whatsoever, because you know most teenage boys are nice, respectful human beings, especially to the girl they are having a relationship with!

PortofinoRevisited · 05/01/2014 19:29

My first thought would be I am surprised she even mentioned it and that this was a subject for discussion amongst her mum's friends - let alone the www. Mortified wouldn't even cover it.

Doctorbrownbear · 05/01/2014 19:30

I wouldn't have told my mother. .. how does she know? But it could well be some sort of pressure from boyfriend or just teenage stuff... everyone shaves it all off at some time or another don't they. ...

ChazzerChaser · 05/01/2014 19:30

Unless she exists in a vacuum pressure is coming from somewhere. Why do we do anything if it's not due to the pressure of social norms? Hence why I talked about popular culture and said it could be coming from various sources after sharing my personal experience of my own motivation. So not assuming it was a boyfriend, nor ruling it out. Indeed putting into action that brain that I do indeed have despite suggestions to the contrary.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 05/01/2014 19:30

Why are you blaming it on the boyfriend OP, you have no idea what his thoughts are the matter are.

It's her preference, whether its down to social conditioning or she has a penchant for baldness down there, it's really no-ones business and if I found out my mother had been discussing my pubic hair or lack thereof I'd have gone mad.

Fairylea · 05/01/2014 19:32

Chazzer I didn't mean to offend you with my comment. I have spent 5 years in an extremely abusive relationship and I too have a brain and a choice so I was just making a throw away comment that it's wrong to assume that it's always down to male pressure when women do have a choice of their own.

unlucky83 · 05/01/2014 19:34

bigtilly - after growing up in quite an uptight household - and having lived with people who are the exact opposite (when I was early 20s a flatmates sister (also 20s) asked me to scrub her back in the bath Shock, and her sisters used to dance around naked, go to the loo with the door open etc) I hope I have a happy medium ...
We don't (often) close the bathroom door - includes DP and I if the DCs are around. Me, DD1(12) and DD2 (6) happily walk around naked in front of each other. DP is more modest in front of DCs - they haven't seen him naked since they were babies and he won't have seen DD1 naked since she hit puberty...all of which I think is quite healthy...no?

Maryz · 05/01/2014 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChazzerChaser · 05/01/2014 19:34

Thanks fairylea. It's one often thrown about so pisses me off given my experience. Sorry to hear about your situation.

WorraLiberty · 05/01/2014 19:34

I shaved mine off when I was 12yrs old (I'm 44 now) because it poked out of my swimming suit.

I'd never watched porn
I had no idea what my friends did with theirs
My mum didn't even shave her armpits or legs

Just total personal comfort.

unlucky83 · 05/01/2014 19:34

that should unless the DCs are around not if the ...

Picturesinthefirelight · 05/01/2014 19:36

I could well imagine dd doing it when she is older. Much more practical when she virtually lives in a leotard.

Fairylea · 05/01/2014 19:36

Thanks chazzer. You too.

WorraLiberty · 05/01/2014 19:37

And going back to the OP's initial (and rather sexist) reaction...why do you assume if anyone watches porn, it's the boyfriend?

Girls watch porn too you know!

BillyBanter · 05/01/2014 20:07

Why is it sad? So bloody patronising and passive aggressive to say its sad to be able to do what you want to your own hair.

It's not entirely 'what you want'. How would you explain why so many more people do it now than before? If it was just people doing what suited them without influence then the no of women shaving the lot off would remain constant through time. Nothing happens in a vacuum.

Original poster
sandyballs · 05/01/2014 20:13

Didn't mean to come across as sexist. Just my initial thought.

OP posts:
Fairylea · 05/01/2014 20:15

I don't think anyone thinks these things happen in a social vacuum. I just don't understand why there is so much negativity about the removal of pubic hair as opposed to something like women choosing to wear a cleavage enhancing bra - all of which may be populated by a social response.

It seems fine to want to wear make up or not or wear revealing clothes or whatever else, but woe betide any one who shaves their pubic hair off. How dare they be influenced by social norms. ....