what was this man thinking?

[nickstmoritz]

DD was waiting for me to pick her up from her bus. 6pm on a fairly busy street in a market town. She had to wait about 20 mins as I was dropping off my other daughter somewhere. During this time a man pulled up and asked her if she wanted a lift. This was a man in his 40s in a 4x4. Obviously she said no and then made for the local library which is nearby to wait in there. Would you do anything about this? She did not get the number plate. Surely this is not just someone trying to be helpful? Nobody could think it was okay to do this, could they?

I reported it to the local police. Would you have done the same? Am I being overly protective and this is just the sort of thing that happens sometimes to teenagers? Not that this matters but DD does not look old for her age and dresses in a "quiet" way with not much make up.

I felt really pissed off with this man.

Very odd, unless he thought he knew her?

'Quietly dressed' teens do look terribly alike, trying to spot DD after county choir, amongst several hundred long haired, hoodie and jeans wearing girls takes a while.

But if otherwise, very odd.

very odd and i think it was sensible to report it

No he did not think he knew her. Wasn't mistaken identity or anything like that. Surely a man in his 40s would know it was odd to offer a lift to a young girl on her own? To me it seems odd too.

he was either thinking 'I'll be helpful', or that he knew her (teen girls all look the same) or he was thinking something we don't want to think about.

no harm done as your daughter clearly knew to say no, said so and left.

You were quite right to report it and she did the sensible thing going to wait in the library.

I have offered rides to kids from my boys' school, when I see them waiting at the bus stop. We are very rural, and I vaguely recognise them and they would probably vaguely recognise me. (I am a woman and they are hulking teenage boys, if that makes a difference). I don't think there's anything wrong with this.

How old us your daughter? I wouldn't have reported it unless she was very young, but I'm guessing she isn't because you were happy for her to wait 20 mins for you. It's not
Illegal to offer someone a lift. Did he attempt to force her into the car or was he persistent?
She's obviously a sensible girl and said no. I'm not sure what you expect the police to do?

She is 16 and I realise it is not illegal to offer someone a lift but I really do not feel it is appropriate for a strange man to approach a lone girl and ask if she wants a lift.

Actually the police were very helpful and also did not feel it was appropriate either. If DD had noted the number plate they would have visited that person to "offer them advice" not to do this in future.

It's good to read your views though. My motivation to report it was 1. that I don't want that sort of thing to happen really. DD has only just started travelling this journey to a new college and she is a bit anxious about this anyway. 2. If the motive was not wholesome then by reporting it there is a record that it took place in case anything happened in future.

A middle aged bloke writes: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? There is no way on God's green earth I would ask a teenager I didn't know into my car. Even the ones who know me, their parents would have to be told I was picking them up.

Thank you. That is what I thought. Just so not on. No man I know would ever do this. Good, it definitely is not just me that thinks this is creepy.