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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Life skills

11 replies

M3MMY · 20/08/2013 23:02

My teen boy will be going off to uni next year. I read somewhere a couple of years ago about a workshop that prepares teens for living away from home. Planning meals and shopping for them, budgeting, washing and ironing clothes, managing your time etc. I have searched the Internet and can't find any. Anyone know of anywhere?

OP posts:

exoticfruits · 21/08/2013 06:41

It is something you have left a bit late! He should have started small as soon as able and be doing it all by now.
You don't need it. Give him a recipe book and tell him he is cooking the meal tomorrow. Show him how to operate the washing machine and how to iron- tell him be is doing his own.
He should have worked out how to manage his time with revision, deadlines etc- that one is a bit if a worry if you have done it for him.
The budgeting is the only one that you need to sit down with him. Work out how much money he has coming in and allocate how much he can spend a week on different things.
Can you go away for a few days and let him fend for himself?
I shouldn't think there are any courses- it is called family life and he should be pulling his weight.
Actually reading it again I see that you have a year - I thought you had a few weeks!
Therefore you have plenty of time.

Don't get involved in his time management - he knows what needs doing so let him get on with it.
Start teaching him the household management things from today.

exoticfruits · 21/08/2013 06:47

I missed out cleaning- make sure he knows how to clean bathrooms, Hoover etc.

Nospringchickendipper · 21/08/2013 07:49

Why pay someone else to do something that you could to yourself. I can't believe people would actually send their children on these courses Or that they actually exist.

I have shown my son how to iron.
He can cook some basic simple meals.
He has to tidy is room.

I hope that by the time he leaves home will be able to take care of himself.What he can't do by the time leaves hopefully he will pick up along the way.

mumeeee · 21/08/2013 10:03

I agree with other. posters all my DDs learnt these things at home, DD3 is 21 and going to uni this year. She has learning difficulties. Anyway she organised her own work and revision at college. She knows how to tidy and clean whether she does it is a different matter She has already asked us about budgeting and has been out and bought a weekly shop for herself and she can cook. Start getting. your DS to do all those things now.

Travelledtheworld · 21/08/2013 12:22

Teach him how to make 6 simple meals: a pasta dish, a rice dish, baked potatoes etc.

How to plan a shopping list, where to find things in the supermarket and how to shop economically ie own brand vs branded products.

How to iron a shirt and trousers

How to clean a bathroom.

Get him to plan a journey from A to B using Public transport and then DO IT on his own.

Every time YOU have o do one of the above....get him to do it. Don't criticise, give positive feedback and suggestions for improvement.

exoticfruits · 21/08/2013 14:56

Agreed- important not to criticise and take over. He may not iron to your standard but at least he is ironing. My DS doesn't like ironing so at least he worked out how to wash and dry clothes so they don't need it.

exoticfruits · 21/08/2013 14:57

The 6 simple meals is also a good idea- from that he can go on if interested, but at least will have the basics.

specialsubject · 21/08/2013 16:18

also teach some other vital skills:

coming home quietly, however drunk
closing doors quietly
not walking like an elephant
doing his own shopping, not stealing food from others
putting oil in frying pans
the difference between a tin opener and a vegetable knife
what doesn't go in the washing machine, the fact that it doesn't empty itself and that the clothes smell if you leave them for days

I've spent a lot of time in hostels and sharing accommodation with teens/early twenties!

OldRoan · 21/08/2013 16:25

Sounds obvious, but when teaching the washing of clothes, make sure he knows where to put the powder/gel/capsule. I remember doing my first ever load of laundry and taking some reading down. I was there for 40 minutes and didn't read a single page, because I was showing EVERYONE how to use the machines. I had the capsules, so I had to work out the drawer system pretty quickly, but everyone else panicked.

Also, remind him that in machines where you pay, the order goes 1) clothes in, 2) washing powder in, 3) money in, 4) start. Not, as one boy did, 2, 3, 4...oh. He gave the machine a good clean though!

Teach him what you can - he'll find his own way round the other stuff/someone in the laundry room will abandon her reading and take pity on him

specialsubject · 22/08/2013 19:26

isn't it cute that they can gain several A levels and operate ultra-high tech, but still need a training course on a washing machine? :-)

I have also taught this module in my time. Parents, do your thing.

flow4 · 23/08/2013 09:02

Laughing at teens is good therapy, but I can't be toooo smug...

I was in my 40s before I learned to drive and got my first car... I vividly remember arriving at the petrol station and realising that driving lessons hadn't included refueling, and I had no idea what to do. I couldn't work out why the nozzel wouldn't fit in the hole, and was wrestling with it when some kind passer-by asked me if my car was diesel... I nearly damaged my car before I'd even got it home!

No-one can know things they've never learned. The more experience our kids get before they leave home, the more confident and independent they'll be when they do. :)

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