<Sob> Temporarily overwhelmed by DS1 and 2

[BoffinMum]

I am trying to work from home during August as I haven't got a lot of childcare, but DS (12) and DS (15) are driving me nuts. Despite my best efforts they are doing everything on an imaginary ticklist of annoying-but-not-illegal-or-immoral things, specifically designed to annoy a parent. Their minor but exasperating crimes include:

Smearing jam all over clean sheets from eating in bed
Peeing all over the place in the bathroom and making it stink
Toilet skid marks, no use of brush
No assistance in house whatsoever despite many disciplinary strategies
Lying in bed until lunch and then loafing about in pyjamas all day
Arguing and scrapping with each other
Bedrooms like fetid hellholes that time forgot (gave in and cleaned one today as I couldn't bear it any longer)
Banging on about the next thing they want me to buy for them
Refusing to their holiday homework from school
Refusing to do anything except muck about on their computers

I have tried everything I can think of to reign them in but I am wondering if there are things other people can think of. I am getting no work done and they have me in tears at the moment.

Oh dear. Complete family row about the mess. But it was out of control. DS1 somewhat traumatised. DS2 in a sulk in bed, DS3 at least is OK and asleep.

DS1 was complaining there was nothing to eat again so I said he could come to Lidl and get some stuff suitable for a lazy 14 year old.

But no, he couldn't even be arsed to do that. He has consumed an entire tube of Pringles today, along with sundry other crap.

He's had a shower though.

He's got his paper round tomorrow. Wouldn't surprise me if he did it in his boxer shorts and untied dressing gown.

DS 13 did not get out of his pyjamas unitil 5 pm this afternoon, but we are on holiday in a lakeside cottage and it poured with rain all day so i just didnt care.....

I love this thread. It has made me smile with recognition at almost every post! Particularly the eating crap, leaving the place in a tip, bedrooms a pigsty and hands down the pants! Yy to one looking at the other the 'wrong way amusing all hell to break loose too!

DS1 is nearly 13 (going into y8) and DS2 is 9.5yrs so I have several years to go!

I did insist at the beginning of the holidays though that they had to eat proper meals, ie cereal or toast for breakfast, sandwich for lunch etc rather than just snack all day. That seems to be working...

OP - I am also trying to work from home for a couple of hours a day and struggling to get much done.

I feel I need to start gradually getting them into some sort of routine in a week or so, so that when they go back in September life may be more peaceful!

I love the idea of changing the wifi password, will keep that as an ultimate reserve! once I figure out how on earth to do it

ireally

my 16 months old DD also does hand in pants (nappies). she has a fab "so what" look to go with it.

I have no chance...

Managed to get Ds to sort his bedroom out yesterday.
Did take a lot of threats of sanction if he didn't .
There was a lot of moaning and groaning (and that was just me) after several hours numerous black bags of stuff it's done.

I am leaving him to laze about today,after all his hard work yesterday

Did the paper round. I helped in order to improve mother/son relationships. I had to do all the houses with dogs and long drives weirdly.

We are hiring a narrow boat for the day tomorrow. Could be interesting, we have to leave the house at 8.30am.

I have really laughed at this thread. I don't have boys but all I can add is that in a year or two, when they have girls they want to impress their overall hygiene will improve. Boys who visit at our house have probably spent longer doing their hair than DD, it's all combed and gelled. They have clean clothes and now they are older (17/18) have grown out of the lynx phase and are mostly into slightly more sophisticated fragrances.

Sparkling no boy has ever turned up in a dressing gown, flapping or otherwise .

OMG there is hope monikar and I only have to wait 3 years. Yay!

Those 3 years will fly by and then you may be able to throw out the dressing gown as it will no longer be needed.

You might feel a bit sad when the dressing gown eventually goes as it has been a big part of your lives .

Do I send the dressing gown off with the provisional driving licence application?

Yes, that will be fine as proof of his age - the DVLA will recognise the faithful dressing gown of a 17yo boy. Better it is out of the house - he might want to take his driving lessons in it. Failing that, your next chance will be when he leaves home for uni, but that is going to be harder on both of you.

Ds left his muller yoghourt pots on the sitting room floor. Ditto the chocolate ice cream pot ( empty).

Cue for Ddog to go on complete sugar high at 10 pm. Excitable jrt beside himself.

Ds has just sat through a prom with us opening his water bottle and his chewing gum. We flanked him to avoid the enraged stares of other music lovers. If you were listing to this evening's prom and heard an apparent rifle shot in the Beethoven piano concerto that was Ds's water bottle.

Mind you, I have had to come out coughing.

The floor is covered with disgusting clothes and food wrappers.

I am emigrating.

Laughing at this. Ds is 11 and we are on the cusp. However, having raised two dds to adulthood I see you your teen ds's and raise you:
Bra sagas
Periods
Lady gardens and associated topiary options
Straighteners
Mascara - lots of
Tears - lots of
Hours in front of the mirror before hysteria about how fat and ugly they are
Lectures about wearing fuck me shoes, micro skirts and " you are not going out like that young lady"
Fringe across eyes to hide eye roll
Unsuitable teen boyfriends in flappy dressing gowns
I want chocolate/I'm so spotty/I'm so fat/ I need chocolate/ OMG I'm such a pig/get me chocolate/ I'm only eating salad forever...
Oh, and the bedrooms are equally fetid with overflowing bins (chocolate wrappers), used tissues, eye make up remover pads, dirty knickers - teeny weeny gossamer wisps of lace magazines,fake nails, laptops permanently on Facebook exchanging bitching sessions, foundation tide marks on pillows, false eyelashes like huge spiders .......need I say more?

demented take a good look at your DS's dressing gown. That's the one he will be wearing in 3 year's time to slob around the house in.

The girl version sounds a bit more terrifying.

Monikar, I live in hope.

Noooooo, it has little aliens on. He's just a baby.....
Never forget the day dh made some dumplings to go in a stew, and dd1, then about 17 prodded one and said " ewww, they feel like testicles". Cue blush to roots of hair, stunned silence round table and dh saying icily " would you care to elaborate young lady?". Did make me wonder about the bf though......

i've managed to get the teenagers out twice this week. One of those outings involved a garden centre!

Sparkling - my DD's have paper rounds. Oldest DD has been known to do her round in her jama's!

DS2's dressing gown has Super Mario on demented.

alistron don't say that. The paper round includes our road so clothes are compulsory. How did you get a teen into a garden centre?

I made it sound like i wanted to go alone and have some quality me time. They then decided that they just had to come with me!! Mwahahaha!

Oh dear school shoes need to be done today , can't leave it any longer , I'm already feeling like wimping out

I thought it may have involved the cafe and slices of cake alistron.

Oh no out. Good luck with that.

Right we are finally leaving the house!