DD 13 bedroom/pigsty - help!

[Jellybean45]

Anyone else have this problem. It's driving me mad, especially as said bedroom is meant to be used for occasional guests. It's a bigger room and considering giving it to tidy dd (11)...any tips? :-/

In a similar situation, I said to DS1 "You have 2 weeks to clean your bedroom or DS2 gets it". He didn't, so DS2 and I cleaned it out and swapped the furniture.

He might actually be better off in the smaller room, if that doesn't need to be used for guests. Longer term, I do think a teenager needs a space that is their own, and that they keep tidy or not as they see fit. I'm very messy myself, and I know that it's not a sign of moral decay, I just don't give it much attention and generally have higher priorities!

My 13 yo ds room is always in chaos and it smells. If I don't nag him to keep his bedroom door closed the smell permeates the whole house.

On Saturday morning before I give him his weekly allowance he has to tidy, dust, Hoover, bring down plates and cups, pick up all his dirty clothes and empty his bedroom bin all with the window flung wide open. Not until that's done to my satisfaction does he get his allowance.

The rest of the week I just insist his door is kept shut so I can't see or smell in there.

Ha ha so glad I'm not the only one! Just looked again - dd1 spent all day yesterday up there saying she's cleaning it...no change whatsoever. Massive floordrobe intermingled with cast off mouldy wraps (given for school lunch but too much bother to take them out of the bag and unwrap them...so just chuck them on the floor instead!),squashed cereal bars and mouldy cups. Yuk yuk yuk.

Shower room next door being done next week so Dd2 is being offered it after work done if dd1 doesn't sort it out by end of week. Will be embarrassing that plumbers will see it as they will need to put their gear in it :-/ . Because of space I do need to be able to use room for family from abroad but we're talking once every 3 months if that. I refuse to tidy/clean it myself though as it's a tip as soon as she goes back in there. Viking she's taken to doing that with her eyeliner too! And she just hates me because I'm the worst mum blah blah blah and no one else has to tidy their rooms ...yeah right!

Give it DD2 absolute and leave DD1 to it, don't clean it, don't change bed clothes, don't go in to pick up laundry. Unless it is brought out to you leave her to it!!

DS 14 needs to tidy his room every day as part of homework. If it is not done properly there will be no after-homework entertainment (telly etc.). He is used to that since primary school and does it alright.

Told my DD if she didn't pick up all her underwear off the bedroom floor I would take a photograph and post it on my Facebook page for the world to see. That did the trick, for a week anyway....

My one, also 13, is upstairs as I type 'tidying' her room....
cos she wants me to agree to her dying her beautiful dark blonde waist length thick luscious hair bright pink in the holidays safe in the knowledge that it will was out after 40 washes.
That would take two years at the current rate of hair washing!!!!

The worst is when you have no option but to bring the plumber/ electrician into the tip. You hadn't factored in that they might have to go in there when fixing something, somewhere else in the house. Oh the mortification!!! At least with the window cleaner you can close the curtains

I've just come very close to blowing my top with Dh and ds (3.8) about being the only bloody person that puts anything away/tidies up. My frustration is compounded by Dh saying things like "but there's nowhere to put anything / we don't have enough room / too much stuff", me saying "I manage, when you do it properly there is room for stuff, I'm fed up of being responsible for tidying AND cleaning" (am on mat leave so happy to carry most domestic load as he does pull his weight day-to-day). The reason it riles me so much (and why I'm posting on this thread) is that my room was the embarrassing mess as a teenager and it was a RAGING WAR bone of contention with my Mum. Looking back, I genuinely didn't have enough storage and didn't know how to maximise what I had (eg Mum had winter/summer clothes across different wardrobes/cupboards, I had one wardrobe/one chest of drawers, hoarded clothes and STUFF. Vacuum bags weren't as ubiquitous but would have helped. More cupboards/shelves might have helped (pre Ikea though, I had anMFI desk, remember them?!). But really my room expressed that I felt unhappy and in turmoil. My surroundings now really reflect and effect my mood and as a student were noticed by others to be a good indicator. I guess my point is that it might be worth asking what they think could help sort the mess/why it's a mess (don't expect an answer but plant the thought seed). I also didn't understand the embarrassment of my parents about the state-it was my room, my space, they had the rest of the house, surely it was obvious it was mine? We lived in a village so the only friends that came round were used to it and I would make an effort then if I knew they were expected.

Lor' that was long and I pressed post too soon!

I don't know how I'll tackle this with my two when they are older but my hope is that I'll manage somehow to separate the practical (tidy it up) from the emotional (it's a disgrace etc). My parents were/are supportive and loving, my room became the focus of angst and stress in a way that affected the whole family ( I was a cow as much as anything!)

Good luck OP.