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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

Original poster

respite from dd ??

13 replies

flupi · 29/04/2013 19:11

Im tired, very very tired of treading on eggshells, having abuse hurled at me, rollercoaster of emotions.....I just need a break. So my question is this...Does anyone have any suggestions of where I could send my dd for 2 weeks? Shes 17, not doing anything- starting A levels again next term but for the moment is free. No job. So could go NOW. Would be great to find something fulfilling, uplifting, life changing? She has an eating disorder and all that entails.
Please send me your suggestions xx

OP posts:

HeySoulSister · 29/04/2013 21:00

family member?

she could go work as an au pair for the summer

ElectricSheep · 29/04/2013 21:08

Fancy a teen swap?

I've got a DS 17 who can be so sweet and loving (most of the time) but a horrible, obstinate and bullying giant toddler some of the time (this weekend).

I was thinking of that TV prog today actually. The one where they are sent abroad to some strict parents to see how lucky they are at home...can't think of its name.

specialsubject · 30/04/2013 10:25

as she has mental health problems she is not really suited to being an au pair. Any chance of getting her into one of the specialist units to try to help the big problem?

flow4 · 30/04/2013 10:42

I've been wondering about some kind of teen 'exchange' scheme for years! IME, teenagers are never as rude and horrible to other people's parents as they are to their own... So logically, if yours came to me, and mine went to her, and hers went to you, then they'd all behave better. I'd call it the 'Mrs Patterson Effect' !

mindfulmum · 30/04/2013 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stickchildren3 · 30/04/2013 18:38

A national trust working holiday, they definitely used to do special ones for teenagers. By evening you're so knackered and hungry you'd eat a horse and ime they'd never be as rude to other adults as they are to their parents .

bigbluebus · 30/04/2013 21:40

Electric I think the programme you are referring to is "Worlds Strictest Parents".
I would be tempted to send DS on one of these trips too - especially as he staged a 'sit in' on the landing the other night as a protest at the WiFi being turned off overnight after we suspected he was using it after lights out time. He said it was his "right to protest" . I told him if he wanted to protest then he should go and protest about something more worthwhile and somewhere where he would get more publicity and possibly a bot of support for his cause

bigbluebus · 30/04/2013 21:41

lot not bot

ElectricSheep · 30/04/2013 22:39

Flow4 would we all try and 'out strict' each other? I do a mean morning alarm call (and I'm up by 6.30-7am most mornings). I've also got a few demanding pets, a big lawn and a stack of wood that needs chopping! What could you offer strictwise?

Bigblue That's the TV prog thanks. The protest sounds hilarious (sorry I know it's not really funny when they are driving you up the wall). I used to do CND marches and went on the workfare protest last year - I'm sure I could do a few workshops with your teen!

Flupi Is there any volunteering your teen would be interested in? There is a local school scheme here that sends teens to a Romanian orphanage for 6 weeks. Would she manage that or would she suit something more gentle/supported? Could she buddy another younger teen in care? Or help out at a kennels or something like that if she likes animals?

Original poster

flupi · 04/05/2013 10:05

Thanks for all your responses. She is being seen by a specialist eating disorder unit but its slow slow going and Im not sure if she will ever manage to overcome it with their methods. Trying her on prozac now....

The rest of the family could get away for a few days, and a family member has offered to have dd for a few days... both options we should try to organise.
What I was hoping for was a life changing experience for her...possibly...I thought she would cope with 2 weeks, at the moment she has no staying power. Will look into national trust... want something that looks at whole person, attitudes etc. not e.g. learn to canoe holiday.
Many thanks

OP posts:

SirBoobAlot · 04/05/2013 10:22

You need to be patient with the eating disorder unit. These things take time, and many sufferers require several different support systems because of it.

Honestly if she's ill enough to be under a specialist unit, she is not well enough to cope with a two week 'experience'. And I say that as someone who has struggled with EDs, and watched friends be incredibly ill with it.

Have you as an adult, or the family unit, been offered any support?

mindfulmum · 04/05/2013 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Happymum22 · 06/05/2013 18:47

I have a friend with a DD similar to yours, emotions all over the place, eating disorder, a bit lost and swings from angry and shouting to introverted and upset. She sent her somewhere last summer, a special camp for teens finding life tough- but can't remember the name unfortunately! I will ask her for you though.

Other ideas: Projects Abroad (but not sure going abroad is the best idea if she is having severe problems), I know of someone else who did this and had a great time www.campbeaumont.co.uk/our-camps/the-house/ , Do It 4 Real camps run by the YHA.

Flip