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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Son and pierced ear...

37 replies

LaydeeC · 20/04/2013 11:36

Am I being unreasonable in not allowing my 15 yo son to have his ear pierced.
He, obviously, thinks I am, that I am too smothering and I never allow him to do anything.
He is Aspergers, so I guess that he is a bit right in some of his assertions.
But his ear pierced is a whole new level. He is trying to achieve a certain look, think cropped/shaved hair with etchings in, trainers, hoodies, baggy sweatpants etc and of course a diamond stud would be the cherry on top.
None of my friend's children dress anything like this - none of my son's friends at his school do either.
Would you let him?
I do know that it can be removed etc and that we shouldn't judge people etc. Of course I do. But... When it comes to people looking at my son in his chosen attire, I cringe to think what they might be thinking of him even though I know I shouldn't care.
I'm a snob aren't I?

OP posts:

ilovepowerhoop · 20/04/2013 11:46

I'd let him get it done

p.s. my 8 year old nephew had his done last year!

titchy · 20/04/2013 11:54

Well I wouldn't let him! Why does he want that particular look? Does he want to be different to everyone he hangs around with? Is he seeking acceptance with another group he perceives to be cool?

Delaying rather than outright refusal might work, maybe not till he's settled in 6th form - and hope he no longer wants to!

Sparklingbrook · 20/04/2013 11:57

I wouldn't like DS1 (13) to have his ear pierced. I must be a snob.

SavoyCabbage · 20/04/2013 12:00

Isn't it all a it five years ago?

I had my ears pierced when I was 16, I was allowed when I was 15 but took that long to make the decision. My dh's mother had his pierced when e was a baby and he hates it when people notice the little marks.

Sparklingbrook · 20/04/2013 12:02

I have to say I don't really understand it. They have to tape it over for sport too.

Ragwort · 20/04/2013 12:04

I wouldn't like it at all (must be a snob as well).

Sparklingbrook · 20/04/2013 12:08

I don't know what statement a teen boy is trying to make by having his ear pierced really.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 20/04/2013 12:08

My DS had his ear pierced at 13. After realizing he would have to tape it up for football, which he plays 5 times a week, he took it out and the hole closed over.

QueenOfCats · 20/04/2013 12:08

YABU

My dd has a certain style and loves a certain look that literally none of her friends follow.

She's almost 14 a d I'm proud of the fact that she doesn't feel the need to follow the herd. Her look includes one piercing in one ear and 3 piercings in the other, including a stretcher. I wasn't happy about the stretcher but picked my battles - she got fed up, took it out and now you would never know she had it, it's just a normal tiny hole.

It's only one piercing. Let him have it done - with a needle at a body piercing shop, not with a gun ! Neater hole that won't be visible once he gets fed up!

Sparklingbrook · 20/04/2013 12:09

Tantrums. Were you secretly pleased though?

TantrumsAndBalloons · 20/04/2013 12:10

Oh and OP, my ds1 dresses exactly as you described, hair with a pattern, trainers, hoodie, trainers. Or jeans hanging down his backside.

It might not be to your taste, but it's relatively harmless.

chickensaladagain · 20/04/2013 12:11

Tell him he can have it done when his gcses have finished and hope he changes his mind by then

TantrumsAndBalloons · 20/04/2013 12:11

sparkling I was thrilled when he took it out after 2 weeks.

I just did not see the point of it tbh. He can't wear it for sport at school, can't wear it for football. So why have it done??

Sparklingbrook · 20/04/2013 12:13

I wouldn't imagine it left a scar after 2 weeks either Tantrums. I have definitely seen older blokes and you could tell they used to have their ears pierced many moons ago as their are scars,

TantrumsAndBalloons · 20/04/2013 12:15

It's like it was never there tbh.

Thank god. Now I just have to deal with dd who wants another set of holes in her ears and a piercing at the top of her ear.

pinkyredrose · 20/04/2013 12:15

Of course you should let him, why know earth would you not? If it was a 15 yr old daughter would that be different?

He doesn't need your permission anyway to have it done.

Sparklingbrook · 20/04/2013 12:16

DH's Dad had his ear pierced in his sixties. It looked awful.

pinkyredrose · 20/04/2013 12:20

Why would it look awful?

usualsuspect · 20/04/2013 12:26

YABU

Sparklingbrook · 20/04/2013 12:34

Oldest swinger in town came to mind pinky.

Fairylea · 20/04/2013 12:44

You do know he could just go to a salon or piercing studio with a friends Id to say he's 16 or fake Id and get it done anyway?

The fact he's asking you at all is like an olive branch. Take it. He can always remove it in the future and unless someone is super close they won't even notice.

pinkyredrose · 20/04/2013 13:20

sparkling

AtiaoftheJulii · 20/04/2013 13:43

Er, yeah, what pinky said about if he were a daughter.

He would need your permission until 16, but that's not exactly an insurmountable problem.

WhereBeThatBlackbirdTo · 20/04/2013 13:50

I think there are far worse things that a 15 year old boy can get up to than get his ear pierced - speaking from experience as the mum of two DSs.

As another poster said, pick your battles

almapudden · 20/04/2013 14:00

I'd tell him he can have it done as a reward for doing well in his GCSEs. It may motivate him to work harder and he may well have gone off the idea by then :D

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