Curfew for a 13 year old?

[Groovee]

Dd who is 13 seems to think we're unfair to say at 7.15pm that she can't go out. 2 nights a week she is out until 9.30pm at pre arranged activities.

I was thinking 8pm is late enough at 13 when she has such an attitude. So if they go to a friends house in term time, what time should they come home?

I suppose it would depend upon where she was going and how she was getting home. I agree with you if she is making her own way home, but if I was picking her up, I would probably llow her to stay later.

It's such a difficult decision. I tend to judge each situation differently.

I agree each situation needs different curfews. On school nights my 13 year old dd would be allowed to friends houses (that live close by) until 8pm. If she's at activities then it's obviously just when they finish. At 7.15 I'd let her out til the 8pm deadline. During school holidays I would stretch to 9pm, depending on where she's going.

I would let mine out to a known place until her usual time to go up for bed (which happens to be 8pm, lights out 9), or dark/dusk whichever is earlier.
BUT
If outside I would want it to be at a defined appropriate location NOT just hanging around
If at someone's home I would want to know the parents were happy with that. If there are younger siblings in the house they might not be too keen.

If we have a friends round from straight after school I ask for them to be picked up 6:30/7.00.

School nights I ask my 12 & 13 yo to be in by 7.30 to give them time to do any homework.

Weekends and school holidays its 8.00. During this years summer hols I might stretch that to 8.30.

The problem would have been that by the time she got ready to leave it would be time for her to come in. She doesn't live close to many friends and therefore does have to travel. I do think we'll stick by the 8pm curfew on school nights.

I'd have thought this depends totally on HW before or after going out, neighborhood and other parents she may be annoying.

We live in the middle of nowhere so my DDs(12 and 15) can only see friends if someone takes them DD generally still does play dates and sleep overs. DD1 tends to 7-9pm after she and her DFs have done most of their HW. (Since DD1 rarely turns her light out untill 12pm, I'm sure fibs are told, but DD1 hasn't gone to sleep early in her entire life).

I'm sure I used to wander in at 9pm as a teen, very safe welsh village. The only rule being I wasn't to take my bike unless my lights were fitted and working.

I have to say she's good with homework and is getting top marks at school. That's not an issue. I think because the others all live close together they are outside their houses on a lovely big grass area and it's not so much of an issue, but it would mean me or dh having to collect her as I wouldn't want her walking home the route she would take.

My main issue is she takes so long to get organised that to say to me at 7.15pm that she wanted to go out, she'd leave at 7.45pm. So really not point in even going.