self harm

[pookin13]

my 12 year old son has started cutting himself, and I'm trying not to freak out. He has been diagnosed with clinical depression over 2 years ago. He has gone through periods of self harm before, trying to strangle himself and making his nose bleed. Right now he is obsessed with cutting and suicide. Is there anyone else out there who has similar experience?

Dear Pook, how frightening for you. I have no experience of this but couldn't leave your post unanswered. I have 12 yo ds and feel so sad for you both.

What has happened to your ds that initially started this behaviour? Has he been abused or bullied? Is he on medication? Does he see a pyschologist? I think he/you need urgent help from your GP, and if you have seen the GP what treatment is being offered?

Does your little chap do sport? If not can you get him to do any activity that he might enjoy that might help lift his mood and make him feel better about himself. Does he spend long periods playing compuer games?

Thinking of you.

Your GP or the school can refer your son to the local Children and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHs) he would be regarded as an urgent case and he would get an assessment quickly and they will probably start counselling or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Sessions. You need to really push for this as your son seems to be crying out for help. Best of luck

A lovely poster pointed me towards The Sirius Project when I was worried about a friend of DD1 who was (possibly still is) self harming. (I know their school has arranged help for her.)

In particular, the ideas for alternatives to cutting were very reassuring for my DD.

Lots of hugs and handholding and for you.

Unfortunately it seems that cutting is the "in" thing to do at that age these days. Does he secretly cut or cut in places you can see it? Does he get loads of attention from you or friends when he does it? I assume you are already under CAMHS if he is diagnosed with clinical depression. Call them straight away and request an emergency appointment. Also speak to his school and see if there is anything that may be causing him stress (friendship issues?). Best of luck.

Banana, I think describing self harm as "in" thing is incredibly harmful to those who use self harm as a coping mechanism, it is a common misconception that those that self harm do it for attention or because their friends do it, very very few do it for this reason. The majority do it because they can't find another coping mechanism.

pookin, i can recommend this website: Self Harm UK as a source of advice, resources and a place to ask any questions.
Otherwise, encourage talking: what emotions does your son feel before he harms? How is he harming himself (i.e. is it causing damage that might be fatal?) there is such a thing as "safe" harming. and also looking at ways in which he can channel these emotions in a less destructive way.
I hope this helps.