Does your teenager still have the same friends from Years 6 & 7

[Madmog]

Just wondering if anyone out there has a teenager who still has their close friends from the end of primary school/start comprehensive.

Since moving to comprehensive school, the lovely girls my daughter went there with have completely changed - they are consistently being nasty to eachother and my daughter is just as bad. Have had some strong words with her, I thinks she's thought about them and said before half term she's fed up of all the fall outs and is trying to work on any issues she has. She went back to school on Monday and two of her friends are being mean to her again, she wants to defend herself but doesn't want it all coming out wrong again. On the positive side she seems to be getting on well with 3 other girls who she's met, so I've told her to still work at her old friendships but also to try and build up something with the new girls and that they are welcome here. Just seems a shame as they all got on so well at primary school.

DD1 is out today with her best friend from primary school. They went to different schools in year 7 and are now in year 10.

I think it's common. Particularly with girls. Mine didn't fall out with friends from primary...they just sort of drifted apart and although were still friendly enough they had other 'best' friends by their teens. What you have in common with people at 10/11 might not be the same by 14ish.

(And girls can be dreadfully bitchy to each other at this age)

Personally I would tell her to shrug and move on. If girls are mean to her don't hang around on the fringes trying to 'make up'. Get her to hang around with the other three instead. If her old friends want to be pally they can make the effort instead of being mean to her.

My ds's are now 13, 15 and 17.

They are all still close friends with those who they went to primary school with.

DS1 does hang around with new friends too but he remains close to a couple from primary school, playing in an U18 football team.

DS2 is still best mates with his closest friend from then as is DS3 who still hangs around with all of his primary school mates.

We found there were quite a few reshufflings at this age.

Dd still has the same very close friend she's had since infants but has added some new very close friends. Her bf and her still get on because they enjoy each other's personalities and shared memories, but she needs other friends for shared interests and ideas.

Ds has got himself a new set of friends and really doesn't feel he has anything in common with his bf from infants; they are so far apart that they almost speak different languages.

I "split up" with my bf round about early secondary age but very much appreciate her as an adult. When we were teens, it was awkwardly obvious that we had nothing in common, as adults we can always talk about the kind of child rearing, domestic things that "everybody" with a family has in common to some extent.

DS, aged 15, is still friends with his best friend from nursery.
DD is in year 7 and is having similar problems to your DD, they all seem to be so horrible to each other.

My boys don't have the same friends they went to Primary school with because we are a Forces family and most have moved away. However, DS1 (18) is still very friendly with the same group of boys that he was friends with when they started secondary school and all put in the same tutor group. Infact, all 14 of them are off on a lads holiday to Malia in July!

DS2(16) is very friendly with a smaller group of boys, but still the ones who he has been friends with from year 7.

From what I can gather DS did not fall out with his friends from primary school but simply drifted away. I think this is because since starting secondary school he found a new set of friends that he has more in common with, however he has stayed in contact with one of his best friends and they tend to spend a lot of time catching up over social networking.

Thanks for your replies. It's nice to know for some they keep their friendships, but reassuring to know that if things change it's not necessarily a bad thing. Feels like we've only had 5/6 days over the last couple of months which have been settled, so personally I've had enough of it - my daughter doesn't open up that easily but she must be feeling the same. She hasn't been an angel herself and we've had some strong words, but I think she is trying to think before she speaks now.

As of last night friend A got in touch asking to be friends again (she's done this twice before though and the next day has changed her mind) so my daughter is giving her one more chance. DD has decided to carry on walking to school with another girl rather than change back to friend A so this could be an issue but I think it's good to keep her options open - also wouldn't be good to ditch new girl anyway. Friend B has spoken to her parents who say the whole situation is silly and she should be friends with my daughter, in all fairness to her I think she has got caught up in the middle.

Another 'no' here.

ds - now in 6th Form - had always had lots and lots of 'mates' but never one or two close friends where the friendship lasted more than a year, so I wasn't surprised with him, but

dd1 (now in Yr9) had a really close knit group of friends from about Yr1, 2 of whom went to the same secondary, and she's not particularly close to either of them now. Never fallen out, but they just drifted apart / made new, closer friendships with others.

Talking to my sis (who has 3 teenage girls), and a couple of other friends, it seems a fairly common thing. Only one of the teens was still "best friends" with a best friend from Junior school.