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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Would you let your 13 yr old wear heels?

43 replies

OhIWishThereWasABook · 02/02/2013 19:03

Dd1 has been invited to a disco. EVERYONE is wearing heels (apparently) and I'm being begged here. I think they are a bit tartly on young teens, although I love heels so its probably all my fault Grin.
I'm torn between yuck and oh it's only for a couple of hours in a hall.
Btw, I'm only talking 2 inch/wedge type things, not stripper heels.
WWYD?

OP posts:
Original poster
OhIWishThereWasABook · 02/02/2013 19:04

Tarty, doh

OP posts:
drmummmsy · 02/02/2013 19:09

yeah, probably - but mine's 8! I wore heels at this age, and when I wasn't allowed I smuggled them out and wore them anyway

try not to think too much about the back/foot damage and feminist arguments against heels...

OddBoots · 02/02/2013 19:10

I would, but I would get her some of these or her lightest shoes to bring with her too in case she finds the heels painful. I'm assuming she will be being dropped off/picked up so that isn't a concern.

ByTheSea · 02/02/2013 19:11

Yes to 2-inch wedges, no to stilettos. I have a DD-13 BTW.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 02/02/2013 19:12

No - I think they look silly and tarty. My two had them at 15 and then mostly wedge shoe boot things.

sausagesandwich34 · 02/02/2013 19:15

I would let her, she's probably not exaggerating that 'everyone' will be wearing them

Mabelface · 02/02/2013 19:17

Yes, and her friends will be wearing them. Had the same thing with my 13 year old yesterday.

LynetteScavo · 02/02/2013 19:17

Oooh, tricky one, I don't know the answer to!

DD is 7, and I'm not sure she will every be able to walk in heels, she can't managed a ballet flat atm...she's still in startrite or converse.

DS1 is in Y9, and some of the girls in his year look like they could eat Claudia Schiffer for breakfast, with their hair and their very high heels, and they actually do look OK, if much older. [scared]

I'm guessing it depends of the girl.....DM's were all the rage when I was a teenager....I was probably about 25 before I wore a high heel, and then they were boots.

LynetteScavo · 02/02/2013 19:19

I am thinking that if I'd wanted high heels, I would have bought a very cheep pair and smuggled out.....

Will your DD be wearing any makeup, or is that a whole different thread?

Original poster
OhIWishThereWasABook · 02/02/2013 19:20

Good point odd boots, perhaps the pain will put her off for a few more years! Yes to being dropped off/collected but 2 hours in shoes you are not used to will be a killer. It's a pity we are not yet the same shoe size.
A plan is forming.....

OP posts:
TantrumsAndBalloons · 02/02/2013 19:21

Yes to wedge heels. Although my 14 year old dd wears double creepers which may in effect be as high as stilettos but not itswim

drmummmsy · 02/02/2013 19:23

it is society that constructs the shoes as 'tarty' (a derogatory, double-standard based concept in itself), I would let her wear them so that she feels part of her peer grou

your daughter is, in herself, not 'tarty' (whatever that means)

i think if i asked my dd how important is it to her that she wears them, i prob wouldn't be able to say 'no'

Original poster
OhIWishThereWasABook · 02/02/2013 19:25

Make up!!!! I hadn't even thought about that one. So far I've only seen her friends with a bit of lip gloss/mascara. I think I can cope with that. Yy to DM's too, my youngest 10 has a bit of a thing for those, hope it lasts.
I don't want them to grow up. Need Wine

OP posts:
chocoluvva · 02/02/2013 19:30

So tricky.

FWIW my DD was 15 when she first wore heels - wedges though.

werewolvesdidit · 02/02/2013 19:34

I had heels at 13 - my mother didn't care- I'm now firmly in the sensible shoe brigade at 41 :) If I had a daughter, I'd let her have a pair of 'party' shoes at 13. They're only shoes.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 02/02/2013 19:39

I would if he really wanted to, but would worry that he would trip or turn an ankle and injure himself; I can't walk in heels and I'm forty.

He did wear heels for his Y6 school play, along with make-up, a wig and a padded bra, and the most frightful-looking dress I've ever seen. He did a reasonable cover of 'Dancing Queen' with some friends from his rugby team.

chocoluvva · 02/02/2013 20:08

:o

drmummmsy · 02/02/2013 20:15

lawl Grin

postmanpatscat · 02/02/2013 21:31

Can't even imagine my Converse-wearing, rugby-playing 13yo in heels...she freely admits that she doesn't care what she looks like!

ripsishere · 03/02/2013 00:12

I would not be concerned apart from the discomfort angle. I would much rather my DD wore wedges than proper heels.

Startail · 03/02/2013 00:31

Yes, but she won't. DD1 likes comfort.

11 yo DD2 wore the same stilettos as the adult bridesmaid perfectly happily (they all had flats for the evening).

No requests to wear heels since, but I expect she will wear them. I did to discos from 14 ish.

ThePathanKhansWitch · 03/02/2013 00:42

Maybe a kitten heel.

manicmother80 · 15/02/2013 00:44

I think that a 13 year old wearing a kitten heel or little wedge is perfectly fine, especially if her dress isn't short or too 'sexy'. Peer pressure is paramount at that age and IMO it's good to let them do little things that everybody else will be doing as long as it isn't harmful/ outrageous/ unsafe/ unreasonable, so that you can save the arguments and battles for the important stuff like sex/ alcohol/ parties/ education/ internet safety.

Ligs · 15/02/2013 01:30

I let mine wear 2 inch wedge heels to a school party. I was glad I agreed as there were lots of girls there wearing much higher and proper stilettos. This way she didn't feel left out but I gave her a pair of ballet pumps to take with her and yep, she changed after about an hour.

I think it was the 'being seen' in them that was the most important factor.

Jimalfie · 15/02/2013 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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