Possible bullying?

[weegiemum]

hi there!
My dd1 will be 13 on wed this week so I've launched into teenagers!

She's struggling at school, as there is a posse of girls who seem to be out to get all the girls that don't fit their style. She doesn't dress up, has an easy hairstyle, wears little makeup, and importantly, likes herself! It's a very small high school she attends (only 2 classes).
She's trying to avoid even going (though we make her go!). I've spoken to her friends mums (she has 3 great friends) who are all also attering at the issue!

Dd really doesnt want me to involve the school but some ofth things the girls she doesn't et on with are really bullying!

Help!

How is she being bullied?

She might not want you to involve the school but do you think she could pluck up courage to speak to a teacher herself? Might work out better that way.

It sounds like you do already but keep encouraging her to be that individual and keep reminding her that the bully's actions are all down to their insecurities and flaws and nothing to do with your DD.

Its mutterings. She thinks they're talking about her. Theyve said she smells funny (not true, she has a shower every morning, uses deodorant, just not the currently fashionable Hollister one the other girls use!)

She feels mocked about her clothes - though we get her what she wants (within uniform regs). I do object to a 12 yo going out with full makeup, but she does get the chance to do mascara and eyeliner. She's very 'arty' - her art teacher has talked about her sitting exams early, she's very talented - so others are jealous I think!

There's this one boy she's been really good friends with since primary. The "popular" girls are now very into him (he's a trendy geek, he's been to our house a few times, great guy). Dd thinks they're trying to "steal" him. They won't - dd and him share a (music) hobby and get together for that! I know dd has a crush on him, so that hurts!

I just want to be able to hug her and say it'll be ok like I could when she was little! I still hug her a lot and she's very open, but I just can't see how to help! She's 13 on Feb 6. She doesn't know, but we've got her the hair straighteners she's been after!!

Why is it so hard with teenagers?

Hey weegie, you can still hug her and tell her everything will be ok, because it will! Your right that I don't think you can help hr with each little thing but I really think you can help her in general with confidence. If you have confidence and a positive mindset and a 'can do' attitude then it's hard to be knocked down.

She sounds like she'll be ok :) maybe she should be giving you the hug!