Just this minute joined Mumsnet bec. so stressed with teenage DS1

[TigerMumalert13]

I know teenagers are a funny lot but I really can't understand mine, every day is a struggle to get him out of bed and in time for school, he is 16, taking his GCSCs soon and does not have the slightest idea how important these exams are. There is no communication, just shouting (from my part mostly) and it is wearing me down. How does anyone cope with such attitude? He is so disrespectful to me and in particular my husband. He just has this attitude of us owing him every thing and he treats us like rubbish, he winds up and pick on his brother and sister to entertain himself and the whole household is just so fed up. Is this normal? It all started after secondary school and every year it seems to be getting worst. People say it will get better but I find that hard to believe at this stage.

Hi Tiger, and welcome. :)

You're definitely not alone. There are a few parents struggling with very similar situations at the moment. You might like to have a read of this or this ... Or quite a few other threads, really.

In my own experience, 16 was the worst year... My eldest son is now 17, and showing signs of becoming human and pleasant again. :)

Have you come across this book ? I found it reassuring and helpful for understanding what goes on inside their heads and why (some of them) seem to be driven to be so horrible!

My almost 18yr old is just coming out of this stage

Thank you Flow and Reaa, I know I am not alone in experiencing these problems but at times it is so bad I cannot imagine I gave birth to him! I keep going over and over in my mind trying to pinpoint where I went wrong. You have no idea how many books I have read on this matter, they all make sense until it happens in your face. I will read up on the other threads to see if I can find any tips. Today instead of confronting him I just left him alone and tried to ignore his behaviour (and his dirty dishes!). 17? 18? I can't wait that long, he has exams ha ha.

Hi. I know that MaryZ has a thread in the Teenagers section to support parents of teens. Maybe worth a look?

Tiger you have my full sympathy. My DS1 is 17 and quite frankly can be a nightmare. Tonight I am almost in tears because of the way he talks to me etc. How can you physically stop someone who is 4 inches taller than you leaving the house. My DH is not DS1's real dad (his real dad is a complete waste of space a bit of a loser in that he has no time for my DS1). I too am going to try and have a look at the threads others have posted here.

You are not alone tho xx

Here's the link to the thread Maryz started, folks: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/1648434-MaryZs-support-thread-for-parents-of-troubled-teenagers-Part-2-heres-to-a-peaceful-2013

Vino, you can't stop someone who is 4 inches taller than you leaving the house. One of the main difficulties of parenting a challenging teen is coming to terms with the fact that you can't control them any more; they have to control themselves...

Oh Vino, yours is still at it at 17! I was hoping my DS1 will grow out of it by 17 ... sob ..sob.
DS1 has not tried leaving the house before bec. I had the key to open front door, he did say once that he would get out by jumping out of his bedroom window, as I was so fed up, I said 'go on then'. Obviously he didn't bec. he's on the first floor. Since we changed to a new style lock (no key necess from inside) he does often threat to leave, as he is 6 foot tall, I couldn't stop him. He did once but came back after an hour laden with a bag of sweets. Have you tried shedding tears in front of him so he can see how upset you are? Even if you have to pretend. When I am desperate I start to sniff and he calms down a little while I do a dramatic 'all I want from you is a little respect, I just want you to do well in school and have a good life .... sniff ...sniff', then run to my room and hit the pillow to let out the anger and frustration. I will read up on other people's experiences for more tips.