Your Teen wins....

[TopsyRK]

Your teen wins as soon as you raise your voice, they are looking for conflict.

Your rules should always be...

Ask first
Tell second
Punish third

Ask them to do something, if no reaction, then tell them, if no reaction punish them, never raise your voice or argue with them as you are the parent.

Trust me not easy but it works

Chris

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Really?

I must have been doing it all wrong when dd was climbing out of her window to meet up with boys at 1am. I should have just asked her not to do it.
And all the other stuff she was doing.

Wow if only you had posted this last year, I could have saved us a whole year of family counselling.

Honestly do you not see how utterly patronising and unhelpful that post is?

Its not about winning is it?

[MuchBrighterNow]

oh bugger meant that to be in bold

[Hullygully]

The first bit of your profile says you don't have children

I couldn't face the rest, I got the general idea that you are like god.

Can you not see that TELLING rather than engaging and suggesting is going to piss people off?

Can you not see the irony in what you are doing?

Or is it ok because you aren't SHOUTING?

[GetOrf]

I like you Chris.

Tell me some more about those sausages.

[GetOrf]

Oh dear.

Don't call us ladies chris.

Because we are fucking well not.

Anyway, you are missing out. It's actually great having a great shouting match with your teen children. Because at some point someone is going to trip over a shoe mid shout and you both end up laughing like drains and forget the purpose of the argument in the first place.

[TopsyRK]

Troll alert? where,

I was once told never ASSUME due to ASS/U/ME

Not a troll never have been never will be, but also I will always reply to any questions asked.

Ask yourself at what stage did this post become...how utterly patronising and unhelpful... was it before or after the wrong troll alert and attacking comments and assumptions which others made?

I have updated my profile, and am willing to answer any other questions you may have, but if in doubt why not report this whole thread or ask admin to step in and deal with it?

[Hullygully]

I think the very first post about did it.

Just appearing and dictating to people with your manly wisdom is er really going to piss people off.

[Sparklingbrook]

I think he must be a mystery shopper. We are all in a huge load of trouble now.

[Hullygully]

Look Chris, I get it, you feel you have a lot to offer, you are desperate to mansplain to us silly shouting ladies.

It's just that we don't want to hear it.

And fwiw, I think "punishing" is for losers.

I have two teenagers and we have never and will never do "punishing"

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

It became patronising and unhelpful when you post telling people how to parent their children

You may well believe your way is the only way. Like I said, I disagree. But there is no discussion to your post. It reads do as I say or you will lose

Therefore it is idiotic.

HTH

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

And FWIW, we actually do know about reporting things love, you dont have to helpfully point it out.

[Hullygully]

You're right lifeofpo

must stop ass/u/ming

[CatelynStark]

If I wanted a man to tell me how to raise my children, I'd still be married

Thanks, Chris - I see now I've been doing it all wrong. I never punish my teens as they don't do anything to warrant it

[BeckAndCall]

I fail to see, if you don't have children yourself, how you can possibly know what it's like 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to be a parent?

And whatever your position of responsibility and authority, Chris, perhaps it's the position that allows you to command the respect of teenagers and not your style itself?

[shine0ncrazydiamond]

Chris, my teen doesn't 'win' as soon as I raise my voice. She shits herself and does what I have told her to do. I also tend to tell her politely as opposed to creeping round her 'asking' nicely.

But thank you for your thoughts.

[shine0ncrazydiamond]

I think the problem , Chris, is that your tone is rather irritating and you present your opinions as facts.

[Astelia]

IME they are likely to avoid a slanging match by having tea at a friend's house then rushing in and saying they are going to do homework and mustn't be disturbed.

the punishment needs to be whatever your child will be effected by most sic. Why the obsession on punishment? I am not a fan of removing technology or grounding. I have seen no evidence from my teens or friends' teens that it achieves anything except escalating the situation.

[TopsyRK]

Setting record straight...
Married twice, 4 daughters (twins included) 1 stepson (hate that label)

See children, well adults now but act like children

[TheOneWithTheHair]

Actually I think this needs to be on national telly! Stop being meany weany to poor Chris.

Oh crap I forgot to ask first.

[TopsyRK]

ROFL @ TheOneWithTheHair maybe on JK?