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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

What do you do with a DS who is too lazy to fix himself some lunch?!

118 replies

Horsemad · 03/01/2013 21:25

Typical 15yr old, obsessed with computer games. Gets up and immediately goes on pc (during weekends and holidays - has tried this on school mornings and had short shrift).

When I'm working I leave before he's up, it's obvious to me that he's not had breakfast or lunch when I get home. He says he's not hungry, but I suspect he eats his selection box chocolate whilst at the pc.

I don't mind him being on the pc, he's out of trouble and I know where he is etc, but I'm getting fed up with him not eating!

OP posts:

Booyhoo · 05/01/2013 16:00

they're still part of the family, able to participate in family meals and be responsible for their own food when no-one else is there. they dont turn into babies.

Bonsoir · 05/01/2013 16:02

"Boohyoo, Expert On Teenagers"

ROFL.

Booyhoo · 05/01/2013 16:04

yes hilarious.

Bonsoir · 05/01/2013 16:05

Wait another 10 years...

flow4 · 05/01/2013 16:18

FFS. Is teenage attitude infectious? Do you catch it when you talk about it, or something?!

I'd love one of your cranberry scones, hugo, thank you. They sound calming delicious!

Bonsoir · 05/01/2013 16:21

It's sadly not teenage attitude. Their brains go all funny and shrink and they revert to toddler levels of self-control and it is not their fault or that of their parents (their parents do, however, have to manage it).

hugoagogo · 05/01/2013 16:21

They are calming I had to have 2 this afternoon after particularly stressful encounter this pm.

hugoagogo · 05/01/2013 16:23

Oh jeepers, my English! Ah well, you'll have known what I meant.

LineRunner · 05/01/2013 16:31

I just had a conversation with teenage DS (on xbox) which was pretty much:

Are you hungry - No, mum
Would you like a snack - No, thanks
Shall I make you a hotdog? - Yes, please

Things are different in teenage-brain-world.

mrsjay · 05/01/2013 16:33

let him starve and tbh I had a lazy mare at 15 she would not make herself anything if i was out and come sniffing for food when i came back , I left her to it and she did eventually make herself something, and id limit his xbox time they imo rot the brain

Bonsoir · 05/01/2013 16:34

Oh I know that one.

What time would you like supper - don't know
Is there anything I should get you at M&S - don't know
Do you need a packed lunch any day next week - don't know
There is pizza/chocolate cake in the kitchen - sound of elephants hooves in the hall

flow4 · 05/01/2013 16:35

I was being cheeky and referring to the adults here, Bonsoir
And thank you, I have two teens of my own, so I already have plenty of ridiculous theories opinions about their development and behaviour.

hugo, I am licking my lips... Are you sure you have enough to go round?!

Booyhoo · 05/01/2013 16:36

why do you even ask again after the first "no, mum"

tbh if someone asked me a third time about food after i'd told them twice i didn't want anything i'd probably say yes to get them to stop asking.

LineRunner · 05/01/2013 16:37

It's ok, he's taking down Xmas decorations now and wrapping up the baby Jesus, in return for said hotdog. I am not entirely without guile.

LineRunner · 05/01/2013 16:39

why do you even ask again

Because it's it 4.35pm and he hasn't eaten all day, and it's now getting dark.

I think it's the specificity of the request that matters.

Booyhoo · 05/01/2013 16:42

so if he's hungry he'll either say so or get himself something, surely?

unless he has an eating disorder, i'd say he'd find his way to the fridge when he realised his stomach was rumbling. he wont starve himself.

Bonsoir · 05/01/2013 16:45

LOL. I know teenage boys who when they go to university lose 10 kg in the first year and then put it all on again over the summer holidays, with some spare for the second year

hugoagogo · 05/01/2013 16:45

so if he's hungry he'll either say so or get himself something, surely?

If teenage boys responded like this, we wouldn't all be on here saying how weird they are would we?

SecretSquirrels · 05/01/2013 16:51

I also think that they don't experience hunger the same way.
DS1 (17) will often come home from college with packed lunch untouched because he was so engrossed with lessons or activities that he forgot to eat.
On the other hand he will make and eat a huge bowl of pasta at 3pm for his lunch, eat a family meal with us at 7pm and then graze all evening until cereal for supper at midnight.

Because it's it 4.35pm and he hasn't eaten all day YY. I don't know about anyone else but I haven't lost that maternal need to feed them even though they are both bigger than me.

Booyhoo · 05/01/2013 16:51

" I know teenage boys who when they go to university lose 10 kg in the first year and then put it all on again over the summer holidays, with some spare for the second year "

i cant think why

maybe it's because they are being spoonfed until they leave for uni at 18?

hugo, really what do you think is going to happen to them if you dont ask them twice if they're hungry? it's not a life and death thing. they will find the fridge eventually.

im not so convinced it's the teens that are weird TBH.

Bonsoir · 05/01/2013 16:53

You are really quite funny, Booyhoo

flow4 · 05/01/2013 16:58

BREAKING NEWS :: DIFFERENT PARENTS DO DIFFERENT THINGS!

We'd all be Stepford Wives if we all raised our children in identical ways...

I'm personally of the "neglect them as much as possible and it will make them marvellously independent in the end" school of parenting, but I never assume anyone else has to be the same!

Bonsoir · 05/01/2013 16:59

Has that worked, flow4? It's my DSSs' mother's school of thought too...

Booyhoo · 05/01/2013 17:05

well dont you think there might be a connection between people making every single meal for their teens and checking 3 times whether they want food and the teens then being unable to feed themselves when they go away from home? i think that's really sad. who wants to raise incapable children? it all seems very enabling to me. fine, if you want your adult dcs to be ever dependant on you but dont whinge about it and call them weird when you've encouraged it.

hugoagogo · 05/01/2013 17:07

I try not to call it neglect; as someone who was neglected.

But I too try and make sure the dc have a safe place to live, with food provided, if not prepared and the facilities to clean themselves and their clothes/bedding.

But, not hand them everything on a plate.

I think it has worked mostly

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