What do you do with a DS who is too lazy to fix himself some lunch?!

[Horsemad]

Typical 15yr old, obsessed with computer games. Gets up and immediately goes on pc (during weekends and holidays - has tried this on school mornings and had short shrift).

When I'm working I leave before he's up, it's obvious to me that he's not had breakfast or lunch when I get home. He says he's not hungry, but I suspect he eats his selection box chocolate whilst at the pc.

I don't mind him being on the pc, he's out of trouble and I know where he is etc, but I'm getting fed up with him not eating!

I agree Seeker, I used to make dinner at least once a week from the age of 11, when I lived with my parents.

Thanks all, I'm just going to leave him to it!
I am going to confiscate his choc stash though so he's not eating 'empty' calories.

He's capable of getting himself food but is just lazy, so it's his choice.

I taught my 17 year old to make a few basic meals. He does macaroni cheese for his lunch.
Every Single Day.

Good call horsemad!

I wonder how he'll survive if he goes to uni?!!

He'll learn because he'll have to! :)

My MIL chucked DH out of the home and hearth when he was sweet 16. Forty years on this still causes problems However, at this age, young men should be able to cook for themselves

at 15 i would be expecting him to be making the family dinner whilst he's on holidays and you are at work! who does he think he is waiting to be fed?

oh i see seeker has already said this. glad i'm not alone in thinking this.

But the flaw in that cunning plan is that a boy who is too lazy/distracted even to feed himself is certainly too lazy/distracted to have tea on the table for his family when they get home!

I do sometimes get DS1 (17) to cook for us... But he does it reluctantly, and I have to supervise (by text from work if I'm not at home) and settle for things over- and under-cooked, because he simply isn't giving it enough attention. He currently thinks of food as fuel to be shovelled in as fast as possible; while for me there is pleasure not just in the tastes of the food but also how it looks on the plate, so his barely-functional meals don't appeal much, and I tend to ask only when I am prepared to eat 'fuel' too... DS2 (12) is a more rewarding chef!

I assume this is a phase that will pass (like the not showering one, or the grunting one!) and meanwhile I 'model' the cooking of lovely balanced meals and expect him to do a greater share of the cleaning up!

So disconnect the Internet. Sorted.

This is the big problem with leaving teenaged boys on their own at home while you work. DSS1 and DSS2 much prefer being at our home to being at their mother's for this very reason - meals "happen" here (eg I make them) and, despite themselves, they don't get to spend all day on the computer.

I point out to teenage DC the contents of the freezer and the wonder that is the microwave and leave them to it

I left my Ds to it, he usually eats cereal, noodles, pasta, bacon sandwiches. Its his fault if he's too lazy to cook something.

Mine don't know password to computer; they aren't allowed on PC until
A) breakfasted
B) brushed teeth
C) dressed appropriately to go out (sometimes I waive that)

I had to institute those rules when they were 7-8yo, amazed someone got to teen years before finding it a problem not to. DS has braces, too, and I am paranoid about his teeth so breakfast of biscuits would make me too unhappy to ignore.

I am lucky in that Ds2 14 loves cooking and will cook lunch for himself, Ds1, dd and any add on mates who may be around.

DD 8 is perfectly capable of frying herself an egg, making herself up a salad...

Ds1 17 would be happy to live on bowls of cereal and toast eaten at random hours of day and night and could not be trusted to feed anyone. I used to worry as he is underweight but have decided to let it go and make sure instead that the only cereal on offer is muslei

My ds (16) can't go more than about 2 hours without having another meal. I'm that your ds doesn't eat. I'm another who would be expecting tea prepared when I got home if I were out at work all day and someone were at home all day. All my dcs have to take a turn at cooking the evening meal each week.

Oh dear llikk, I would never be allowed on the PC in your house!

I still do this manage to feed DS but not myself!

It isn't your problem-just leave him to sort it out (or not sort it out).

bonsoir how old are your step-sons? if they are teenagers there is no problem with leaving them home alone. they are capable of beans on toast. my 3 year old can make himself sandwiches and with supervision use the toaster.

They are 17 and 15. Yes, there is a big problem leaving them alone! They do F all!!!

surely that is their own and their mother's problem when they are with her? i'll bet they just love coming to you to be babied though.