Chores..

[gabyjane]

Dd is 14 and very lazy imo. Her chores are:

Washing up when needed & to put the recycling out.

She does non of these the majority of the time and says 'you have to tell me' if i tell her i get told off for 'nagging' her or she says it doesnt need doing. This has led to a real atmosphere what with other problems i'm feeling like giving up asking her but then she treats the house like a hotel?

her step dad lives very nearby and she apparantly does plenty for him but not here..she says i have OCD?! The latest is leaving her toliet unflushed which isnt pleaseant tbh.

So what does your teen do..am i being too strict?

Thanks

Her step dad?

Well I have 3 teens. They do lots. Which is just as well really as one is off to uni next year and other 2 are looking at army and police careers.

They strip beds
Clean their rooms
Clean their shared bathroom
Put out rubbish
Hoover/clean the car
Wash up
Look after siblings
Do laundry but I still supervise this
Can clean the kitchen
Hoover and dust... But not always to my standards

Don't know if it's because I'm a single working mum and they feel more 'united' as a team, but they are usually very willing and don't need telling to do their rooms.

I sound quite smug reading that back, don't mean it, but there is an element of competition between them.

I think she could do more... Does she have keen her own room tidy, pick up her things in the living room etc?
My 4yo does this (4 not 14) along with dusting (tbf he loves the duster) as well as helping with other chores, he'll get more independent ones as he gets older.
I never think you are too young to help out, By 14 there is no reason she can't take some responsibility as it'll help her when she has to do it All on her own.
Don't fall in to the trap of comparing to her other parent as that will just wind you up and you never know if your getting the whole truth!

Thanks.

Yes step dad. She sees him at least 2 days a week and apparantly from her does loads, he says the same so it frustrates me when she does nothing here.

She does nothing unless pretty much shouted at to do so. She has her own bathroom as i said but treats it like a dump. Her room is no better BUT i did say close the door and get on with it as such, its her mess she has to sleep in etc.

The rest of the house she does nothing. Her attitude is 'it doesnt need doing'.

She is behaving this way as she knows that if she pretends she needs reminding and moans about you nagging, you will hopefully give in for a quiet life and do it yourself. DO NOT DO THIS.

It's a right pain in the ass but it's important that she does something around the house, you are not her servant!

Been here with 3 teens myself!

Thanks. Yes i ahve asked her to do the jobs i want doing and so far so good. She even got a carrier bag to clear her room up but that seemed to go out the window! One step at a time hey!

DS is 8 to get his £20 pocket money a month he has to empty the dishwasher everyday and help me out with dog walking when DD is at her fathers.

DD gets the same amount of money but has to walk the dog every day (unless she is at her fathers).

But I do not buy them anything that they do not NEED. If it is a want they have to buy it for themselves.

I would just stop doing things for her or buying things for her then tell her to stop nagging when she reminds you. If you give her pocket money for doing the jobs syop giving it to her if she is not doing them.

Much the same as Madame really. DD has always had to do household chores to get her pocket money (not always willingly I can assure you) but, no jobs, no money, end of. She is now 18. She is in full time ed and has a part time job. She still gets pocket money (out of her family allowance) but she still has to do her chores for it!

I know teens can be a hand full but I would say gaby that you are in the driving seat here. I'm sure there are things she wants off you and if you insist she won't get it unless she does her chores she will give in eventually - even if she does stomp around muttering under her breath about how totally unreasonable you are

Thanks will keep pushing it despite the moans and groans!