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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Should I let dd go??

20 replies

Rachel422 · 10/10/2012 18:55

ok so i'm in a bit of a dilemma on what to do. My 13 year old daughter wants to go to a teen event next week. Its for 13-17 year olds and there will be music, food vans, inflatables etc etc. I looked it up and it does seem a well organised event and there will be plenty of security, staff. It starts at 7 and lasts until 11. All her friends are going but im just wondering whether I should let her go. She really wants to although im just not sure.

Could anyone advise me on what to do and has anyone been in this situation before??
Thanks in advance :)

OP posts:

BackforGood · 10/10/2012 19:03

Why not. You 've said it looks well organised. It's not mixing with adults, it's other teens.
I'd just make sure that she could get there and back safely, and let her go.

jessabell · 10/10/2012 19:17

know how you feel. If there is a group of them going. You feel they will look after each other. Then let her go. Perhaps arrange to pick her up afterwards. Make sure she got mobile just in she needs to get in touch. My middle daughter likes going to Music gigs. Started going when she was 15. Her dad used to take her and pick her up. She a few years older now she will try and get home by train.

UltraBOF · 10/10/2012 19:18

Yes, I would.

lljkk · 10/10/2012 19:19

Hours of event, transport, money, friends? Are they all okay?

EdBird · 10/10/2012 19:31

Yes. Whereabouts is it cos my DD would love to go to something like this

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 10/10/2012 22:08

Yes I would. You have to start somewhere.. and it sounds well organised, she's with friends.. trust her and you will feel proud when she comes home fine:)

reddaisy · 10/10/2012 22:10

Yes let her go. Make sure she has a lift there and back and enjoy an evening of peace and quiet.

Startailoforangeandgold · 10/10/2012 22:19

Since at that age we all went to proper grown up village disco's until 1am and bought drinks either in the neighbouring pub or in the dance its self I couldn't say no to my DD.

So I can't say no to the OPs

SecretSquirrels · 11/10/2012 18:02

All my friends are going mum. It won't be the last time you hear that .

I said no to my DS when he wanted to go to something similar at 13. I know you have to let them go sometime but I just think 13 is too young. There is a world of difference between 13 and 17 year olds.

webwiz · 11/10/2012 18:55

I doubt very much there would actually be any 17 year olds there - anything for under 18s tends to appeal to the younger end of the age range.

usualsuspect3 · 11/10/2012 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flow4 · 11/10/2012 20:11

It's very unlikely there will be many 17yos there... Much more likely to be 13-15s. Sounds great!

webwiz · 11/10/2012 20:21

I agree with flow4 at 13 -15 this sort of event is exciting, at 16-17 its lame

usualsuspect3 · 11/10/2012 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slambang · 11/10/2012 20:41

It's an event specially for people her age. It will not be cool for thew17 year olds. I'm surprised that people would think 13 is too young to go to an event specially billed as suitable for 13 years.

If she is a sensible kid tell her you will let her go as a trial to see how trustworthy she can be.

ScaryBOOAlot · 11/10/2012 20:46

There will be no older kids there, can't imagine wanting to hang out with 13 year olds at 17!

mathanxiety · 13/10/2012 06:39

Does she have a phone?

Tell her she can go as long as she promises she will answer when you call and that you will call 2-3 times during the event.

Or tell her to check in with you by calling or texting.

I let mine go to various events but if they didn't check in with me or answer when I called or texted they didn't get to go to the next one.

WofflingOn · 13/10/2012 07:29

What sort of a girl is she? Reasonably responsible? Making the connection between this event going well and being allowed to attend other events?
When mine went to these sorts of things, the key was that a group attended, and they stuck together and looked out for each other.
She'll need a phone, and a cash stash that will enable her to get home if necessary. She can give it back to you if there isn't a problem, and take it again when the next event occurs.
It sounds like an ideal opportunity to trial her new independence as a teenager, but only you know your daughter well enough to say yes or no.

Original poster

Rachel422 · 13/10/2012 21:39

She is responsible and I do trust her, and her friends seem fine (although I don't know all of them) but from what I hear they're ok. I think the idea of her calling me every nown and again is a good idea. I will insist that she does and if she doesn't I will come and collect her myself and shes not going to another one.
I think i'll give it a go and see what happens.
This whole independence things scary, I mean whats next? House parties til all hours?? I think not!!
And they say being a teenagers hard well try being a parent to one

Thanks for the help ladies

OP posts:

mathanxiety · 13/10/2012 22:40

They need to get out though, and learn to negotiate, compromise, abide by reasonable rules, deal with pressures -- if you make them lead a monastic life they won't have the experience to draw on when they go of to university or live on their own.

I let mine off to parties and events, with the phone arrangement in place, and I had a No Questions Asked policy wrt calling me if they were at a party and wanted to get home for any reason and any of their friends who wanted to leave with them. No lectures about behaviour of other people if they had made a sensible decision to leave.

Teenagers are like younger children in that they are receptive to praise for doing the right thing and you can get a lot of good points across that way instead of biting heads off and forbidding things.

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