I can't believe I've typed this title, it sounds utterly insane, but somehow it's starting to seem like the right thing to do.
DH's aunt (along with her husband and two DDs) moved to the USA 13 years ago and ended up staying illegally. The girls have grown up, the eldest is early twenties with two kids but can't go to college or work without a social security number. It's not a good, productive or happy life for her. The younger DD2 (16 years) is part way through high school and doesn't want to end up like her sister, finishing school and having no future.
Her half brother, here in England has offered her a home if she wanted to move home and do her GCSEs and start a new life, while her parents and sister scrape and save enough for passports and airfare back to England for them all to start over. The family saved for her passport which arrived last week, and under the impression that she had a new life lined up and ready to go, we paid her airfare so that she could start school ASAP, as it's already nearly the end of Sept.
It now emerges that the DD2's half brother has been in touch with the family and said that they haven't actually sorted a school place yet, they won't be able to help her financially, they work 60 hrs a week each so won't be able to help her study/spend time with her and she'll have to walk everywhere as they'll be out with the cars. They also are really tight for cash and can't help with allowance - not even toiletries. She's expected to get a weekend job immediately and fund anything that's not rent & food.
She is 16, is leaving her family not knowing when she'll see them again, she hasn't been in the UK since she was 3, she has no friends, and I think it'll be really hard for her to balance a new education system, a new school, being behind with study AND work at weekends. I also think it'll be really hard for her to find a job.
I can't believe the adults taking care of her allowed this situation to develop. Perhaps her half-brother didn't think this would actually happen, and he made empty promises?
Either way, even though her parents and half-bro have been terribly foolish, at the end of this is a scared teenage girl with no friends, no money and a lot of work ahead of her. I have never met her, and neither has my DH but we're seriously considering taking her in until her family can get back to the UK.
ARE WE MAD??
I have two DSs (22 mths and 12 weeks) and my husband works away a lot. We have a healthy household income and a spare bedroom. We have good local schools and good transport links into 3 cities. From the online contact we've had for a few years she seems a good kid, really into her sports, very popular, hard-working.
HOWEVER, I am worried that I don't know how to deal with a teenager, particularly one who isn't mine. I.e. what if she moved here, fell in with a bad crowd and started skipping school/breaking curfew?
Basically, I think what I'm asking is....if you were going to take in a teenager who was far away from her parents (a good kid, polite, will probably find it terribly hard to adjust, but hopefully not too hard to make friends) and help them improve their life and prospects......what rules/conditions would you put in place? And would you also expect them to contribute to chores - and to what extent?
I know this is a strange situation and you will probably have more questions for me.... but I need to start seeking advice from somewhere, and where better than mumsnet?
I don't even know what I'll do about school, if we decide to take her in. Can I call a local school and explain the situation and expect them to take a student 5 weeks into an academic year?
My mind is boggling at the amount of admin this may require....
thanks for listening.