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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

druggie friends

17 replies

nixterjoe · 21/09/2012 16:46

should I let my 15 yr old hang out with his mates knowing full well a couple are on weed - I'd like to think I trust him but I'm not 100 per cent sure I do ? we nearly lost him last year after he was hit by a car ... am I just being really over protective

OP posts:
RubyFakeNails · 21/09/2012 17:37

I would. I do.

Friends who are 'on weed' really aren't the end of the world. But putting that aside, saying no will just make them and their behaviour, whatever it is, seem all the more desireable. Plus I don't know how at 15 you can enforce him not seeing certain friends, assuming he goes out on his own and you aren't with him all the time.

pygsney · 21/09/2012 19:59

I would do everything in my power to prevent it, possibly stopping short of an outright ban. But behind the scenes, everything.

Weed can steal the child you know. It's not like what we (well, I) smoked. Skunk is very powerful. It's not really about trusting him, if he's hanging out with them, he will very likely be smoking too.

LongTimeLurking · 21/09/2012 20:05

When you say 'on weed' what exactly do you mean? A 'joint' shared between mates at a festival / concert is a lot different from smoking this ultra strong skunk all day every day....

Also, how many mates and how many are on weed? If it is a large group and only 1 or two use then I would say the risk of your DS getting involved is a lot less than if ALL his mates are using.

Personally my fear would not be the cannabis but the types of people these 'friends' must associate with to buy the drugs and whether or not it would lead to being offered harder drugs.

At his age you aren't realistically going to stop him hanging out with these friends (although they sound highly undesirable), neither can you stop him from experimenting. I think all you can do is make it is difficult as possible and ram home the potential dangers of cannabis / drugs in general.

Original poster
nixterjoe · 21/09/2012 21:32

I hope we have drilled it into him about the dangers etc but its still worrying .... I have thought of getting some drug testing kits .... just as a deterrent / threat because I can't lock him in the house forever ... I appreciate everyone's thought

OP posts:
NellyJob · 21/09/2012 21:41

I think we have to accept that weed smoking is now endemic and buying drug testing kits will just alienate him. What rubyfakenails said.
Try to educate him on the difference between strong skunk and standard weed at least.

NellyJob · 21/09/2012 21:43

Point out the difference between drinking a beer or two with friends and necking whisky at breakfast.....

threeOrangesocksmorgan · 21/09/2012 21:47

yep i would
ds is older now and does not drink or smoke, he says he is mad enough already.
you have to trust them at some time, just chat to them and if you can bring up that mate of yours that got hooked and life went wrong

NellyJob · 21/09/2012 21:56

yes I have a brother who sits in his parent's house strumming his guitar unable to go out other than to buy weed at the age of 30 odd.....I just use him as an example of what strong weed can do to someone's life

TheOneAndOnlyMaryZed · 21/09/2012 23:47

"weed" has destroyed ds1 and many of his friends.

I would do anything to keep ds2 away from it, including banning him from going to houses where it is allowed.

NellyJob · 21/09/2012 23:55

it's so difficult though, I don't know about where you live, but here it seems to be the teenagers' national sport......
right now DS doesn't go out at all cos I had to have words with some older teenagers in the village about it, and he hates me for it.....

flow4 · 22/09/2012 01:28

If he's going to do it, I'd say there is nothing you can do to stop him, short of moving to a desert island. But on the bright side, if you're not sure whether he's using it, then he probably has his use under control... If he was a heavy user, you'd know about it, from the smell, his eyes, his inability to get it together to do anything, and (probably) his mood swings and aggression. Skunk is nasty stuff, and it messes with a lot of kids' heads. :(

alistron1 · 22/09/2012 22:17

Nixter, I have 3 teens. my 13 year old boy was knocked down by a car a few years ago and nearly died - the experience has made him very 'respectful' of life/health etc.. He walks home from school with a group of lads, some of whom smoke weed - he's just puzzled by it. I think the memory of feeling so 'broken' and HAVING to take heavy duty drugs has made him scared of any sort of altered state. Obviously he is still young, and who knows - when he's older that might change.

My nearly 16 year old DD has friends who smoke weed regularly. She isn't interested in it, she thinks it makes them boring.

It does seem to be an endemic past time (speaking to my kids) At the moment I'm a bit 'there but for the grace of God go I' about it. My stance with them is telling them about the effects on their brain chemistry while they're young and anecdotal tales about people I knew who either ended up with pretty serious mental health issues after heavy weed use/who are still living with their folks at the age of 40, jobless, relationshipless and still bang on it.

xmasevebundle · 24/09/2012 00:08

Its proven if your child smokes(fags) they are more likely to try other drugs?

You dont just go into smoking weed, starts from somewhere. It makes you paranoid weed and skunk does, plus the 'weed' that is sold may only have like 5%of weed in it as it has so many stupid prodcuts. Ant poison etc.

NellyJob · 24/09/2012 15:42

yes and it could have been sprinkled with ground up glass to give it that sparkly look and to bump up the weight. These are the kind of things that I keep reminding my son about.

Lifeisontheup · 25/09/2012 17:11

You could point him in the direction of the latest research into the connection between cannabis use and testicular cancer. Can't find a link atm but if you google it I'm sure it will come up, it was in the news recently.

Original poster
nixterjoe · 25/09/2012 19:28

wow thanks for everyone's ideas and suggestions ... there is definately a mixed opinion on this ... but am gonna have a chat with all of the ideas Wink

OP posts:
MiniMonty · 29/09/2012 04:03

Don't piss about with this... Research / news / evidence - it will all amount to nothing compared with peer group pressure. At 15 I'd go for Zero tolerance and act decisively to alter the peer group - GCSE's coming up, life chances in the balance. You're the parent not the best friend. Do what you know is right and stop you 15yr old having anything to do with smoking pot and the people who do right now.

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