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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenage daughter groomed and now married

52 replies

julizh · 15/07/2012 17:45

My teenage daughter of 19 has been groomed on the internet and has now married a bengali man without my knowledge. Coincidentally his visa is soon expiring. There are a number of twists to this case so we have reported to the authorities but in the meantime I am so worried about what will happen to her when he gets his visa. The authorities may not investigate and if they do they seem to be pretty tied up with the Olympics and this is likely to get pushed to the back of the queue. I really need to talk to someone about this - is there anyone who has experienced this who can offer some advice or has any knowledge of how these people operate?

OP posts:
flow4 · 15/07/2012 21:33

What you describe is domestic abuse. But your daughter may struggle to accept it: many women find it hard to come to terms with the idea that someone they love is treating them badly - it is such a hurtful, frightening thing to accept - so your daughter is not alone :(

If your daughter wants support or advice - whether it's just someone who will listen to her, or legal advice, or practical help to leave her husband, she can contact Women's Aid. Their phone number is 0808 2000 247 or 0808 2000 247. This is a link to the national Women's Aid website - there are chat rooms/forums here, where she can get some informal support from other women who have experienced DV.

There will be local support in your daughter's area. Here is a list of links to local forums and networks (some are missing, so use Google or check your council website if you can't find your local one). Women's Aid have (sadly) a lot of experience with cases like this, and they will believe your daughter and they will not judge her. I would strongly recommend that she contacts WA first, rather than the police or immigration, because she will need support and understanding, which WA will give her. WA will focus on her needs, while those other agencies are more likely to be focussed on whether any laws or rules have been broken.

WA will support her whether she stays with her husband or leaves him. But if she does decide to leave him, and she believes she might be in danger if she does, they have a network of 'secret refuges' across the UK - they can help her flee and keep her safe.

If you think your daughter married unwillingly, then this advice might also help.

Good luck to you and your daughter.

GailTheGoldfish · 15/07/2012 21:43

Great advice there from flow4. Good luck OP.

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