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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

18th birthday venues - argh!

25 replies

mumblechum1 · 20/06/2012 16:59

No where, absolutely nowhere, whether a pub, club, village hall, hotel etc will accept a booking for an 18th birthday party. I can understand it , they do get loud and as ds is the eldest in his year, all of his friends are under 18 so can'tg get served in pubs etc.

So I'm thinking of a riverboat party; you hire the boat and crew, provide food and drink (sensible levels of beer & champagne, no spirits), and they cruise along the Thames for 3 or 4 hours (not London so no Bow Belle type issues).

24 to 40 people, depending on the layout.

Do you think this sounds like a good option? We really don't want a house party; I'm precious about the house, furniture etc and dh is precious about his garden which is his pride and joy.

DS is meh about a party, but last year he didn't do anything special for the first time ever and it was a real damp squib. and I want him to have an 18th to remember

OP posts:

Original poster

mumblechum1 · 20/06/2012 17:00

how do you spell prescious? precious? preshuss?

OP posts:

VoldemortsNipple · 20/06/2012 17:16

If he really doesn't want a party, why not go for a nice meal, invite a few of his close friends and then back home for a few drinks.

Or book an experience day for him.

I know that my nieces didn't want 18th partys. They say the friends end up leaving early to go clubbing and the poor host has to stay to the end with the relatives :( I suppose your Ds would have the advantage of his guests would get very wet if they left early :o

I personally think your idea sounds great, but I'm sure you could mark the occasion in another way which would also be really fun. I'll get my thinking cap on.

Gumby · 20/06/2012 17:21

send them all off to your nearest theme park with some cash

Original poster

mumblechum1 · 20/06/2012 17:27

But I want him to have a party . He's not really saying definitely not to a party, but I know it;'s up to him.

I guess it doesn't really matter what he does as long as he does something he'll remember.

Re. the experience days, I'm thinking maybe a parachute jump, he's hoping to join the paras next year so that may or may not encourage him!

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RavenVonChaos · 20/06/2012 17:34

Are you sure a hotel wont do it? We did a daytime buffet lunch for my dd 18 and was mostly family and kids. It was my party really - a good excuse to get all the family together! We had a private function room. Cost quite alot tho.

VoldemortsNipple · 20/06/2012 17:44

I feel your pain. I wanted DD to have an adult style mad hatters tea party for her 16th in two weeks. But no, I'm not allowed, so I've had to compromise and do vintage tea party accessories without the quirky mad hatter extras :o

I was going to suggest a parachute jump.

Original poster

mumblechum1 · 20/06/2012 18:00

. I'm thinking if he turns his nose up at the riverboat party (which isn't cheap - best part of a grand with all the extras), maybe:

a) Tickets for 4 of them to Thorpe Park for a two day thing with an overnight stay in the Holiday Inn a couple of miles away,as it has a pool etc

b) Parachute jump for him and his best mate.

Raven, we have no extended family other than hundreds of miles away,so it will have to be an evening thing with his friends, otherwise a lunch would have been nice.

OP posts:

SecretSquirrels · 20/06/2012 18:05

Could you really not do it in the garden? With marquees and stuff?
If he's not enthusiastic you may end up resenting it. Do they still have 21st parties?

Original poster

mumblechum1 · 20/06/2012 18:11

Secret, in a normal garden, yes. Our garden is the kind of garden people pay money to go around, ie if a plant got squashed it would be A Big Deal for dh.

Knowing what goes on at some of DS's friends' do's (at the last one someone put a kayak in the swimming pool, they dance on the worktops in the kitchen etc), I would rather not have it at home!

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SecretSquirrels · 20/06/2012 18:14

Ah.... I can see why the venues are not keen then.

Original poster

mumblechum1 · 20/06/2012 18:15

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RavenVonChaos · 20/06/2012 18:20

Send him to Thorpe Park and we should have a party! Your garden sounds like heaven, we could do a Mad Hatters Pimms and Croquet Party......promise DH we will be on best behaviour.....

VoldemortsNipple · 20/06/2012 18:59

When a child turns 18, we should have a parental celebration, sort of like a baby shower but for your child reaching adulthood. The mums and dads should be showered with gifts and congratulations for guiding the child through childhood and be thrown a huge party (exactly how we want it with no interference from dcs) with mad hatters and riverboats. If the dc in question has given us an easy ride we might even invite them and some of their housetrained friends. :o

Original poster

mumblechum1 · 20/06/2012 19:02

I'm liking your thinking Raven and VM!

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EduStudent · 20/06/2012 20:39

Have you tried the slightly dodgier pubs? Mine was in a bit of a grim, old mans pub, but once we decorated it and all my friends/family were in it looked fine. And they were verrry lax about licensing rules

Annunziata · 20/06/2012 20:44

Most 18ths my DC have gone to have been in the same pub- quite like the one EduStudent describes.

Or put down the deposit for a holiday for him?

Original poster

mumblechum1 · 20/06/2012 20:59

That's a good idea actually. There is an old mans pub in the village and he's been served in there before

The jammy bugger is already going to Newquay, Reading Festival, New York and Washington over the next three months, all paid for by me. I'm sure I'd be rich if I didn't have him. Keeping a racehorse would be cheaper and I might even win a few quid.

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RavenVonChaos · 20/06/2012 21:30

I hope he appreciates it

mumeeee · 20/06/2012 22:22

My DDs didn't have big parties. We had a family meal and they sorted our something with their friends which didn't involve me. The main celebration was going to London with me, staying in a hotel and going to a musical.

Mrsjay · 22/06/2012 09:44

DD1 went paintballing nowhere would do a party either and decided she isnt into conventional parties anyway she hates the spotlight on her , so she went paitballing with a mix of boys and girls and she was 1 of the oldest of her friends so most were still 17 , we then went for a family meal on her birthday which she enjoyed,

cinnamonnut · 22/06/2012 19:22

I'd be sad if I didn't want a big party and my parents organised one anyway - so another vote for Thorpe Park or the parachute jump :)

Original poster

mumblechum1 · 22/06/2012 21:45

Thanks everyone. We've settled on driving 200 miles up North, together with ds's best mate, to have dinner with the rellies, then the next day, stopping off at a place in Leicestershire where ds, mate and dh will do this: www.virginexperiencedays.co.uk/tank-paintball-experience?path=adventure%2ctank-paintball&rw.cm=google,ppc,%2Btank+%2Bpaintballing&OVMTC=Broad&site=&creative=7708493601&OVKEY=%2Btank%20%2Bpaintballing&adpos=1t1&rw.cm=google,ppc,%2Btank+%2Bpaintballing&gclid=CPCb-rLb4rACFYt-fAodYDiC0w

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ajandjjmum · 22/06/2012 21:52

Glad you've got it sorted mumblechum!

DS is 21 before too long, and DD has decided she's organising a party. Loads of places wouldn't consider it, but we're currently thinking of a rugby club, as they're used to chaos!

Or drinks at home for everyone, and then the youngsters disappear off to town in mini buses for their clubbing, and stay over in a cheap hotel.

Austinpowers24 · 06/03/2014 13:19

In response to this thread, I look after a village hall and have been for the past 10 years. The reason that alot of village halls are so strict is because there are a few who get out of hand. We are a rural hall close to built up towns. All to often teenagers will phone up there friends who have not been invited and bring along booze and others the hall gets over crowded we have ended up with the neighbours complaining as bottles are thown over there house damaging there car and breaking on the drive which is unsafe for ther young children to go out in the morning when the party is due to end if carrys on often in the youngsters cars into the early hours. I am not saying every teenager and young adult is like this but its the odd few who have let them all down have done these dangerous acts that mean a tough stance has to be taken. We allow 18th's and 21st's but have very strict rules on them. As we do not want to deny this section of our community the use of the village hall which is there for everyone of any age or walk of life.

Innogen · 06/03/2014 23:19

Let him do whatever he wants with his friends on the day. But one the weekend have an open house for his family. Dd didn't want a 21st, but I sold this plan to her because it meant all the family turned up with gifts and money, and she was able to go on holiday with the birthday cash.

Mercenary, but a nice compromise for us, and a win for her.

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