Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Just need to vent - don't mind me...

16 replies

flow4 · 12/05/2012 22:39

Been out for a few hours... Come home to cigarette butts and ash trodden into the carpet, drink split, the recycling bin emptied across the sitting room, at least 7 bits of crockery surrounding the sofa, rubbish including empty bacon packet and pizza wrappings on the kitchen floor, the dog left without water, shreds of tobacco and bacon fat all over the stove, grated cheese scattered around the knocked over kettle, a beer taken without asking and the milk all finished... Angry AND MY TEEN WONDERS WHY I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE HIM ALONE FOR THE WEEKEND!!! Angry AaaaaaaaaaAAaaaAAAAaargh!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
flow4 · 12/05/2012 22:45

Oh and I forgot to mention the yard brush I found in the street and the clothes pulled off the line and left on the ground in the garden! Angry

OP posts:
alistron1 · 12/05/2012 22:45

It won't be his fault and you are mean and unfair for being annoyed about it Wink

God, no wonder you are venting. How old is he?

RandomMess · 12/05/2012 22:48

I've got all this still to come...

Original poster
flow4 · 12/05/2012 22:51
  1. He has at least responded to my texts and hurried home in time to get to the shop for milk before it shuts. If he knows what's good for him he'll clear it all up as soon as he gets back.

Calling me mean (or worse) for being annoyed is pretty standard. But so far I haven't even shouted... That is one of the real advantages of 'text nagging' from my point of view. I can say things like "I can't believe you've..." without shrieking!

OP posts:
Original poster
flow4 · 12/05/2012 23:16

How-so-ever, he is now home and clearing up after himself... Shock Bacon fat, baccy and cheese gone... Rubbish on kitchen floor binned... Kettle righted...

OP posts:
alistron1 · 12/05/2012 23:41

Good, at least he's clearing it up now!! Sometimes texting is good. it removes emotion/anger - I know I've done it with my DD's Grin Teenagers, can't live with them, can't kill 'em!!

Original poster
flow4 · 12/05/2012 23:45

Can't sell 'em... Can't even seem to give 'em away...!

OP posts:
Brightspark1 · 13/05/2012 21:07

Your post strikes fear into me, will be leaving DS (19) to look after the house, cat and hamster for a whole week next month. Will expect mouldy crockery in his room, the bin full up with pizza boxes ( he can cook but I bet he won't) and a starving cat. Mind you, given his track record of leaving his bedroom window wide open when he goes out, I will just be happy to find we haven't been burgled or the house full of squatters.
Seriously, Is it going OK with having him back?

Original poster
flow4 · 13/05/2012 21:52

He's trying, Brightspark. A month or 6 ago, he wouldn't have come back to clear up. But I wouldn't leave him alone for a weekend... We're going away next w'end, and I've told him either he can come too, or I'll lock him out for the w'end and he can sleep at a mate's.
How are things with you?

OP posts:
Original poster
flow4 · 14/05/2012 04:07

More venting required Angry Just been woken at 3:20 am by noises and the smell of smoke Angry Son and girlfriend smoking in bedroom. Now, (a) smoking not allowed in house, (b) son supposed to be on sofa, (c) it's Sunday night/Monday morning and I need my sleep, and (d) son supposed to be up at 8am for job hunting. Grrrrrrrrrr! Angry Now I am too cross to sleep! Does anyone else get that??

OP posts:
Original poster
flow4 · 14/05/2012 06:11

I really don't deal well with being woken and disturbed in the night. Angry I. Have. Been. Shouting.

Further attempts at creeping up and down stairs to be together and/or have a cig ("Well you told us we couldn't smoke in my room so we're going outside"- aaaargh!! The only reason they can stay up all night is cos they doss all day don't have enough/anything else to occupy them and use up their energy. Hmm Tho actually son tells me (at 4am) he's working tomorrow (newish casual gardening/odd job work)...

Cue More Shouting - how did he expect to get up in morn and be fit for work etc... Son's response was to take dog for walk at 4:45am: "Well you told me I wasn't going to able to get up, so I thought I'd stay up" > tears hair <

I can see he's not trying to infuriate me... I can see he's on new ground and just desperate to be with her... I remember being 16/17 and how important it all was... But seriously, does he need to be pushing new boundaries in the small hours of Monday f*cking morning?! Shock Angry

Oh btw, I insisted on the son-on-sofa thing cos I haven't been properly introduced to girlfriend yet (tho I met her half-dressed in my bathroom a couple of months ago when they though I was out Hmm) I have told my son I'm sure I'll be happy to welcome her when she's sat down and had a meal and a conversation with us...

I hate being too cross to sleep. And now I'll have to deal with tomorrow after just 3.5 hours of it :( ... Final word from son: "It's not my fault you can't sleep"... Final word from me: aaaaaaaargh!!

OP posts:
Brightspark1 · 15/05/2012 22:15

Lack of sleep makes it even more difficult to cope, it's probably the thing that brought me to meltdown. The worst thing is I would either be too worried/ angry to sleep, or I would lie awake worrying that I wouldn't be able to sleep! Things areOK here, sort of. It looks like DD is staying at this teenager unit for another 3 months, they have been really good with her. She is working a bit for her GSCEs which she wasn't doing before, she hasn't self harmed for 6 weeks and she is actually talking to me, she has also applied for college and got a place. So she seems to be turning a corner. Which makes me feel even more inadequate and useless, DH is in no hurry to have her back, and I can see myself having to choose between them. The house is tidy, calm ... And empty :(

Brightspark1 · 15/05/2012 22:16

Have you tried taking piriton, knocks me out a treat, better than the sleeping tablets the doc gave me?

Original poster
flow4 · 15/05/2012 23:57

Oh Brightspark. I'm really glad your daughter seems to have turned a corner :) but it must be very hard for you to have her elsewhere when you want her home :(
You do know her improvements are not evidence of your failure, don't you?! Her behaviour was bad because she was locked in a furious battle with you - a natural part of growing up and 'breaking away' for many kids - and now, she has no need to fight anyone at the unit because she doesn't need to break away from them - they're just not important enough Hmm I think I said before that it seems sometimes kids who are closest to their parents seem to fight the hardest... And of course that hurts all the more, because that closeness means your loss is greater. > hugs <

Ironically, I've spent a lot of time (especially during sleepless nights) racking my brain for some way to get my son to leave home without/before a further crisis. He tells me I'd miss him if he wasn't here, and of course I would; but not enough to stop me wanting him to go!

OP posts:
Original poster
flow4 · 15/05/2012 23:57

Oh and thanks, I'll try the Piriton :)

OP posts:
Brightspark1 · 16/05/2012 20:34

You're right of course, it seems she needed to break away from us in order to grow up a bit. She has always been a bit young for her age, and being a summer child made it harder. My head knows this, but my heart still finds it difficult to accept. Hope the Piriton works!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page