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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

18th Birthday Party Dilemma

11 replies

snowyowl70 · 07/04/2012 23:07

We are starting to think about my DDs 18th Birthday Party. We don't want to spend a lot and we are struggling on several counts. 1) lots of venues won't host 18ths 2) the venue we were looking at only has a tiny dance floor 3) if we hire a large village hall then what to do about alcohol. Some places have just said bring your own but my daughter is one of the eldest in the year so a lot of her friends will still be 17 and I don't want to be responsible for a 17 year old getting blind drunk and then the parents not being happy. The other option is to get a local pub to get a licence but haven't a clue how much that would cost. Any suggestions ? Any idea how much to get a licence ? Would it be so bad to have a party at home - tell me the good, the bad and the ugly. She is a very sensible girl and I don't think she would invite anyone whose behaviour she would be worried about.

OP posts:

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 07/04/2012 23:20

First thing to check is... does she actually want a party? None of mine did..in fact they were horrified at the suggestion..we went for a family meal and then slipped the 18 yr old some cash to have a fab night out with friends. My DD2 is 18 on monday and has plans to go out with friends.

However if she does want a party.. does she have some ideas herself? Assuming it's not a surprise, it might be best if she has a think and does some of the groundwork.

I wouldn't have a party at home personally unless it's a family affair.. either you will feel you should be there , which cramps the teens style .. or you will feel obliged to go out and will worry about your carpets with a bunch of clumsy teens around!

ggirltwin2pinot · 07/04/2012 23:29

dd had a party at home
we were there as were a few of her friends parents (very close friends)

it was a brilliant party..about 70 invited ..about 90 turned up in the end

nice load of kids and no trouble at all

no one allowed upstairs

we cleared the lounge for dancing of which there was loads
we have hardwood flooring so no worries about spillage of which there was plenty
dd had a brilliant time..her b'day is new yrs eve and her mates always want a party here so we've had a few before

she's 20 now and is planning on having another one next yr

MaureenMLove · 07/04/2012 23:37

OH god, I've just had the sudden realisation that my DD will be 18 next year!

I was hoping to get away with not doing a big party for 18 and saving it for 21. Like you, she is one of the oldest in the year, so practically all her friends will still be 17.

I think if she does want a party, it'll be at home. Somehow I'd feel safer and more in control. DH and a couple of his mates have been bouncers at 16th parties recently. That seemed to work quite well. Not sure DH will be much good at his own DD's party though!

Mrsjay · 08/04/2012 00:07

DD went paint balling for her 18th last year our flat is to tiny for a party , her friends were underage and no place would really do a party for an 18th anyway , dd and her friends had a great time she isnt a girlie girl so loved it ,

Mrsjay · 08/04/2012 00:07

we also had a familiy meal which suited everybody

Singleandproud · 08/04/2012 00:26

What about something different.
A spa day for her and a few friends.
A day at an outdoors activity centre.
A city break with some spending money for her and a friend maybe Paris it would probably cost you less then a party.
You could just have mock tails and non alcoholic beer. If you as parents man the 'bar' and pour it into a glass they probably wouldnt know.

If you can get a function room you could use a band system when I went to official college parties those that were over 18 wore a band or a hand stamp to say they were old enough to drink, of course it never stopped us buying drinks for each other but its an option.

MaryZ · 08/04/2012 00:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tranquilidade · 08/04/2012 00:53

My DD is 21 but went out last night and a local venue had a room booked for an 18th but instead of just IDing at the bar, they were IDing at the door so only about 6 friends had got in, Birthday girl was devastated so please be careful when booking.

My DD was one of the oldest in her year so we took her and some friends for a meal, rather than book a party, then they went out.

Original poster

snowyowl70 · 08/04/2012 21:51

Thanks everyone, given me some things to think about !

OP posts:

mumblechum1 · 10/04/2012 11:47

My ds doesn't want a party so I'm sending him and his best mate either to Amsterdam or somewhere else in Europe for a few days.

BackforGood · 10/04/2012 12:02

YOu need to talk to the venues. Where my niece has her 18th, they ID'd them at the door. Only those on the list got in (so no worries about gate crashers) and if they could prove they were 18 then they got a wristband (like when you stay at an all inclusive, or pay for all rides at themepark). No wristband, no alcohol, and the bouncers and bar staff took drink off anyone who wasn't wearing a wristband during the night, if someone else bought it for them. I thought it was a brilliant system - might even be worth suggesting to your local rugby club or pub function room.
Everyone was allowed in, but a clear system for restricting the booze. The kids were fine with it - meant they were allowed a 'grown up party' not spoiled by gate crashers or people being sick everywhere.

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