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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Son owes drug dealer 700.00 don't know what to do

15 replies

Kat2012 · 28/03/2012 01:21

My son went down a bad pathway of drugs and behavior about 2 years ago. About 2 months ago was his first time getting caught by police at school. Now he is in a 45 day alt. placement and getting a lot of help. I really believe he wants to change his life around and this is why he confided in me before he returns to his home school. He told the school that he had the drugs on him because he was going to a party. Well he just came up to me and told me that a kid that goes to school with him his older brother gave him the drugs to sell. My son decided to sell for the older brother. When my son got caught the money and drugs were taken by the police and my son told me this adult older brother is looking for him and wants his money which is $700.00 At a loss on what to do because if I move him to his father's that still put my other kids in danger and if I go to the school they may not let him back in or other charges may arise. My son is turning 16 in 10 days and I am already taking him to a iop (intensive outpatient program) 4-5 days a week plus 30 hours of community service he has to be taken to, and another program that last 2 days on top of the school meetings and working part time and my other two kids. Just would like a piece of advice.
Signed one very stressed out mom...

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 28/03/2012 01:46

Any way you can raise the $700, maybe via a garage sale of his stuff? I'm thinking games console, phone., maybe toys from when he was younger? (Am also assuming you're in the US.)

fridakahlo · 28/03/2012 01:55

Even if you raised half of it, that might buy you some time. Or report the dealer and hope he gets arrested.

dreamingbohemian · 28/03/2012 02:02

How long would it take you to get that kind of money together?

I would scrape together as much as you can right now and see if that will hold him off for a bit. If he knows you will pay it all soon, that should hopefully be ok.

I've had this happen to friends. Your best bet is to pay up and then move on with your lives.

dreamingbohemian · 28/03/2012 02:06

Although... are you sure your son is telling the truth?

The police believed he had $700 worth of drugs on him for personal use at a party?

What was he caught with? Are you sure it's worth $700?

MooncupandPizza · 28/03/2012 02:14

I'm another who would pay up and recoup from your son in whatever way you deem suitable/appropriate.

Probably report the guy as well, if you can do so anonymously.

dreamingbohemian · 28/03/2012 02:32

I wouldn't report him. Too much danger of retaliation.

Thumbwitch · 28/03/2012 02:46

In all honesty I would turn this over to the police. Does he not have some kind of liaison officer (don't know what you'd call it where you are) that you can talk to about what to do? He must have a case worker of some kind for the community service etc. - so you should be able to find the right person to talk to about it.

Original poster
Kat2012 · 28/03/2012 15:03

@dreamingbohemian it would take me forever to raise the money we are already behind on our bills as it is. , I do believe him cause I think he had almost all the money and two little baggies. I did think about going to the police but because we live in maryland and the adult lives in washington dc I think I'm going to run into issues. Also he doesn't have a case worker since it was a first offense they have a 1st time offenders program he will go to. But, I'm more worried about May comming up and him going back to his home school where the brother of this adult is. It would be like wearing a death sign cause right now he doesn't know where my son lives. He does have a social worker at school. What my plan was to move him to his dad's house, we (myself and husband and kids) are moving to another state by the end of summer. Keep him there till we can move just for his safety.

OP posts:
dreamingbohemian · 29/03/2012 01:00

Oh gosh, yes, I'm from DC and you would definitely have issues with the Maryland/DC thing. And I really think you could endanger yourself by going to the police.

I think moving him to his dad's might be a good idea, although wouldn't he just be tracked to his dad's?

I should say, I once had a friend in DC who had to come up with $2000 within 24 hours or he was going to have to leave the country. He did the most massive whiparound you can imagine, basically sold his soul, but got the money.

I understand you are skint but I would seriously do everything you can to at least come up with $350 to appease him for a bit. Take it out of your moving budget, anything, sell everything your son owns.

I'm sure you know but DC dealers are no joke.

Could his dad come up with the money?

MissKeithLemon · 29/03/2012 01:11

I'm either asleep and already dreaming, or the US is seriously different to the UK.

Paying a drug dealer off and being in danger if you inform the police?? Fucked up big time.

Sorry for your troubles, I wish I could offer help.

dreamingbohemian · 29/03/2012 01:44

Well, I should emphasise that I'm only going by my own experiences, having lived in DC for a long time. Maybe I'm projecting, but the OP does seem very worried about their safety, so I don't think I'm off too much.

Of course it's a risk going to the police. But it's not that different from south London (where I also lived for a long time).

Original poster
Kat2012 · 30/03/2012 14:28

@dreamingbohemian I am in the process of doing odd jobs and working extra hours at my job. It's alittle too cold for a yard sale and I live in a condo top floor so there is another problem. His father is on the welfare system and hasn't helped me since he was 4. But I do understand about trying to raise at least some of the money.
@MissKeithLemon yes it's a major risk of going to the police or even the school because no one keeps this confidential. But thank you.

OP posts:
emotionalgymnastics · 30/03/2012 17:17

Ooh have just been down same route with my Boy. He got a "lay on" of grass worth street value over £200.00 which the police found under his bed the next day when they raided our home, whilst he was in the cells for pocession, resisting arrest & injuring a police officer. Police advised me after to track down the dealer ASAP & pay off because our family was in danger otherwise. "Nice" Well that's easier said than done, trying to find a particular drug dealer is like looking for Ninja. Had to borrow from family, then gather some of his friends & beg them to find out which dealer, then set off with his best friend who agreed to meet the dealer & pay. All the time I had to follow this teenage lad all round town, all afternoon, ducking & weaving. The CCTV camera men must have thought the behaviour of a middle aged woman on & off a motorcycle trying not to be seen with a very handsom young lad, very odd indeed, but I needed to ensure that money got to the scum bag. You have to find the money then find the dealer or get your Son to do a deal with the police who will catch the dealer, but it's a huge risk because the dealer will suspect some one grassed him up. These sittuations are all very frightening & a true sign of our sick society. Massive amounts of luck to you & your's & God be you, hope you get a good result.

xMikeZ · 02/06/2016 00:41

@emotionalgymnastics

Not really a display of our 'sick society', but an example of neglect by our Government. If this perfectly healthy substance/plant which is less harmful than chocolate, caffeine and nicotine was legalised there would be no drug dealers or illegal activities.

AnstasiaBartAraminta · 05/06/2016 23:54

How are things now, like 4 years later?

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