Coping with losing the child as they grow up

[slipperandpjsmum]

I have always had a great relationship with my ds who is now almost 16 and I really admire the young man he is becoming. But I can't help but feel a little sad when I look at pictures of him when he was younger. I miss the child he was. Am I the only person who misses the child they used to be?

hi ya

You sould feel lucky enough, to have had them specal years with your kids... Them memories we hold tight. I only get the tip of the iceburg. Letters and pics twice a year. My girl was taken way from me without my chosie. I hate my babydaddy for it!!! At least your children know you. I have to wait 7 years to meet my one and start a new chaper.

That's that then!

Yes-thread has gone quiet.

I wonder why!

and it was going so well.....

I had thought it might go to D.O.D. Shame.

D.O.D? what's that then?

Discussion of the Day. It was a lovely thread.

Our job is to give them wings to fly.

It's then their decision whether or not they fly back, or away.

I'm willing to bet money that the more you let'em fly,the more they'll love you for it and fly in your direction.

I wept and wailed and behaved abominably the day my Mum drove me (away) to university. I wanted to stay at home with boyfie and go to the local one. I am an only child and she gritted her teeth and slung me in the car. I know now she cried all the way home. I moved abroad in 1994 but she now sees me far far more and we talk for hours about everything than my cousins see their mum who lives 3streets away.

Yes it was a lovely thread. Shall we carry on then? :)

I think to myself almost daily that my Dc's especially Ds will abandon me once he hits 18. Not sure about Dd yet, she's only 5.

its not just the parents that feel their loosing something, me being teen at uni miss my childhood, granted i missed out a bit but every teen feels this is seems, all my flat mates are like 5 years old we're all reliving our childhood coz adulthood has come too fast we all talk about it not so much missing parents but miss being care free :(

Sadly that's life jshibbyr I was engaged at 18, married at 20 and a home owner...I didn't do college or Uni, just started work at 16...I too feel I missed a lot, but it's just the way it was/is. It'll make sense one day :).

I posted this thread and thought I only had a couple of replies as haven't been on for a while. Just checked back and was surprised how many people feel just like me. I was crying as I read it and my ds came in and said "whats wrong Mum" and sat down next to me and gave me a cuddle. We are so lucky aren't we to love and be loved so very much.

This threads made me feel better not to feel like its just me - it seems to be all of us in it together.

I think it is just lovely to look back and remember the innocent joy of the babes. I do feel the nostalgia which I suppose is a tinge of sadness.

As one of my DC's had special needs when young, the early years were intensely worrying, also I got little sleep. Now they are blossoming into teens, my worries are behind, one is fine and the other always excelled - I actually breathe a sigh of relief that I brought them this far and they are both doing so well . When they were little I was not sure what the outcome would be.

My eldest is 17 next week, and is currently about 85% horrible and 10% unbearably foul. I miss him so much. I am terribly hurt and bereaved to have lost the little boy I loved so, so much. I think I will have done most of my grieving before he actually goes anywhere.

oh randommummy. didnt want you to go ignored. that must be very painful for you. glad you get some news of how your daughter is getting on and know that she is ok.

I saw my DS - 13.5 - off on a school trip to Austria last Friday. As I waved him off on the coach I had a horrible image flash thro my mind of him as a young soldier off to fight somewhere abroad (dramatic - moi?!?) This I blame on his dad as he was forces and is very keen for DS to follow his footsteps :(
He is home tomorrow :) and I shall have to try very hard NOT to embarrass him when he gets off the coach!! (I will be the one waving a banner and trying not to cry!!)

Reading this thread, I have just gone and given my 5 year old and 7 year old sons a big kiss and cuddle. I am DREADING them being too big for this. I love their little legs, and the way they get dressed with everything on back to front and the fact that they are still losing teeth and needing the tooth fairy, and we are INUNDATED with crap they make at school.

Sorry I realise this isnt' helping but thankyou for reminding me that this passes all too soon.

They are never too big for a kiss and a cuddle so no need to worry on that front Goddess

That made my cry Seb1

Noddy I hope not. [bugrin]

this has made me cry.....mine are 5 and 7 and I was watching them playing today in the garden in their wellies, running around while DH pottered in the flowerbeds and hoped I'd remember this moment when they were cute and laughing and carefree ( and before one clonked the other over the head with the watering can....) ...I am VERY sentimental at times

I love my nearly-18-year-old son, but the little darling boy he was is not around anymore. I never thought he would go.

I suppose that is why grand parents get so sentimental, it must be like having your children back (on loan)