18yr old daughter wants a boob job - should I encourage her?

[moretolifethanthis]

My daughter is fed up with jibes from boys about how flat-chested she is. At one time it didn't bother her but she is really sensitive about it now. She literally is as flat as a boy, I'm afraid. She is tall and thin and dances everyday at college but can't gain weight yet because of keeping fit. She says that even the padded bras are no good. I feel for her but am worried that if she goes down this route there are no safe implants out there. Also, she would have to keep getting them renewed. Has anyone got them? Would they recommend them? Is she too young?

she is too young. my figure was still adjusting at that age - and I was very flat chested until I fell pregnant at 20 - post pregnancy I am now a 34 D where pre-pg I was a 32 A. Also not a good time if she is at college and dancing - if she is dancing she doesn't need to be dealing with recovering from a major surgery. You need to boost her confidence, help her feel that she is beautiful how she is, not encourage her to change. once you take that step it often leads to more and more surgery because it becomes all too easy to change other things that she doesn't like about her body. Chances are a guy is going to come along soon who will love her figure the way it is, like mine did - it took until I wa 18 to find a guy that felt that way as teenage boys tend to be boob obsessed until they've matured a bit, but once I did my confidence rocketed and I realised I WAS attractive the way i was.

No, I didn't finish developing breasts until somewhere between meeting DH at20 and marrying him at 22. Having 2 DDs and BF for years has made very little difference, but either finishing growing up or starting having sex did.

Defninhtely too young.

No she is far too young. Instead of talking to her about boob jobs you should be encouraging her to develop a sense of self worth that is not based on the size of her breasts.

no no and thrice no!

Agree she's still got lots of growing up (and hopefully out LOL) to do. THe safety of implants is a huge question at the moment, and more than anything she needs to be happy in her own skin, and she clearly isn't at the moment.

I'm really worried about kids with poor body image and self confidence. I'm sure that for most "fix my boobs" isn't really what they mean- they mean "fix me".... he american experience seems to suggest that one lot of plastic surgery lead to another and another as they are increasingly feeling "that's OK I'll be perfect if I have my nose done..." then "hmm eye lids aren't right" etc

Tell her to spend a few years getting comfy in her skin. She has breasts I assume ? If so they will feed babies and function sexually.

18 is too young, in my opinion too, moreto for all of the reasons that have already been posted.

I really do sympathise with you and your daughter though. This is making her miserable and of course you just want her to be happy.

Neither of my two are naturally well-endowed. My older daughter's boobs grew (to her delight) by two cup sizes when she went on the pill but I am forever trying to boost the 16 year olds's self-confidence. No-one's ever said anything to her though - she just notices that she's smaller than her friends and how the boys give so much attention to big boobs.

I can't believe that boys would make jibes to your daughter about this. If she's 18, how old are these boys? - What idiots.

Sorry not to be of more help. Best wishes to you and your daughter.

Get her to practise the comebacks i.e.

"Well I could always get implants, but you're never going to be able to do anything about your tiny dick"

or "Were you bottle fed as a child?"

Fabulous slug!

'Were you bottle fed as a child' what the hell does that mean?

Op shes too young

Slug - not sure it appropriate to encourage an 18 year old (or anyone else for that matter) to start talking about the size of "dicks". Hardly a very witty or helpful comeback and likely to cause further hostility. I have no idea what your bottle feeding comment is supposed to mean.

Of copurse she is too young and you shouldnt be encouaraging her IMO.

there are lots of ways to 'disguise' a flattish chest, with the way you dress or the type of bra you wear

She needs to boost her self esteem and ignore those cavemen telling her her boobs are not big enough. She wont be at college with them forever and they need to grow up, not her change herself

bottle fed leading to an obsession with the boob he never had I suppose

It would hurt too quite a bit, wouldn't it, if she is thin? The skin has to stretch over the implant so either she could only have small ones which I think might be the case or she is for a painful time post-op when the body is healing.

I think she is too young but I can see she is suffering and it is hard for you to know how to help.

Far too young. if she is going to do it at all (which I sincerely hope she doesnt).

I was flat as a pancake until my early twenties, then developed a bit (small B cup). After having kids in my late twenties I am now a 32E!

don't agree with hostile comments in return, far better to talk to her about a positive body image. maybe mentioning some flat chested celebrities, and how they haven't needed cosmetic surgery but are still very beautiful and successful? Kate Hudson, Kiera Knightly etc?

NO NO NO!!

Why would you want to encourage her to mutilate her body?!

After the PIP scandal?! Give her that info instead.

And get some good films in with small breasted tough and savvy women!

Those pathetic prats won't be around as she outstrides them in life!

Funny you mentioned films too MadameMessy

Keira Knightly? Lovely actress but a bit too "fluffy" in her roles for me. I was thinking more Sandra Bullock

ah she was good as Elizabeth Bennett. Sandra bullock is a bit needy I think (or seems to be from her films that is)

It is possible to have a breat aug done safely. Good plastic surgeons do not (and have never) used PIP implants.

However, I think 18 is too young - I would encourage her to wait a few more years at least - it is possible she will grow a bit more in that time. OTOH I do think it's also wrong to suggest women who want to have a boob job have mental health issues though or something else wrong with them.

oh and of course, surgery to stop other people making comments is always the wrong reason to have it. It has to be for you and only you imo.

Thanks for all the messages! My daughter is also comparing herself with the other girls in her dance class- they have to wear leotards all day and I suppose it's only natural. I think she feels clothes just hang on her and even padded bras enhance a small cleavage-but she doeasn't have any:( She feels lads won't be attracted to her knowing how obsessed most are at this age.
She is beautiful and talented and I am really trying to make her believe this and that we are not all perfect even though we'd like to be. Also, I think the media have really screwed girls up with their fixation on perfect looks too.
The thing is, I understand she feels de-feminised ( if this word exists!) and feel for her as I had small boobs (although I did have something) and when i got my first bra it was only a soft teenage one and I was asked why I even bothered as I didn't have anything-that hurt my feelings although to be fair i was only 12!
My boobs came when I put on weight and after having kids.
I will put her off having the op. and concentrate on identifying her with actresses/dancers less endowed that are successful and with boyfriends/married to help her feel better. She was going through a bad time and I needed some advice.Thanks everyone x :)

Is it worth her chatting to a sympathetic GP if there is really nothing there at all?

In general I think she is too young. I was very flatchested when I went to uni at 18, but a d cup by the end of my twenties!