anyone got advice about 13 yr old DD who thinks she will die if she doesn't check her Blackberry every 5 seconds?

[exasperatedemma]

How do you manage this? My DD got a Blackberry 2 weeks ago, we reluctantly agreed for her on a PAYG basis so that she wouldn't be running up huge bills, but it has literally taken over her life! She has become completely detached from everything else, has the glazed look when you try and talk to her, is unable to function and has to check the thing every 5 seconds as her friends are sending broadcasts out constantly. Its worse than Facebook!! She is being so hostile, rude and aggressive, its like she's had a personality change overnight - and that's on top of all the usual teenage strops she performs! I am very close to throwing it down the toilet and am trying to stay calm as I know I'm in danger of becoming as obsessed about her being obssessed!! aargh! We set rules about it, ie not checking it during mealtimes, not having it during homework etc, but she just ignores this and we have been in constant battles to get her to stick to this. She has had it confiscated when the rules get broken, doesn't seem to make a difference, She is definitely its slave. any ideas? help!!

You could have a box or basket on the table and EVERYONE in the house puts their phone in their during meals/ for an hour/whenever you want her to stop staring at the bloody thing. They do this sometimes during pub quizes etc so people can't cheat and it's pretty good.

To be perfectly fair, I know plenty of adults are the same but if they CAN'T look at it for whatever reason they "wake up" and can actually hold conversations.

At 13 she probably feels that her friends really understand her much better than her family, and she wants to be in touch with them all the time. That or she's flirting with some boy/girl, or hoping to.

*their = there, obviously.

that's a really good idea Elephants - might try that at home

It will calm down...a little....when she's used to it.

Dd was like this at first....but after a few weeks...she only looked at it once every 15.6 seconds

I have been through the same with my DD and finally, after arguments, tears and various dramas, I have laid down the law. When she gets home from school she hands her phone over to me or her dad, and she is allowed to check it a couple of times during the evening and reply if someone has contacted her. If she doesn't comply with this then the phone is confiscated completely for a week.

She doesn't like it but I am convinced thet she is a nicer, happier person now, and actually interacts with the rest of the family instead of spending all her time on her BB. It's hard to enforce at first but I think it's worth it. You are the parent and must do what you know is best for her, even if she doesn't agree.

Good luck!!

DD's Blackberry was taking over, so now it has a 6pm curfew. Homework is getting done, we are being spoken to and all sorts of wonderful things.

its the constant clickety clicking that drives us up the wall..

However we have found the BB addiction makes confiscation a VERY effective deterrent!

We have to have rules around mobiles in our house. They are not allowed at the dinner table, they are not allowed when we have family occasions/dinner out or on holidays. DD2 has hers taken off her at bedtime and does not get it back until ready for school the next day as she gets too distracted when trying to get to sleep/ready for school! They really are a pain but they are great to use as a punishment! Confiscation of the blackberry/iphone for one week is the one thing that really works to make my DDs pleasant helpful human beings again! They have even said to me after a week of not having their mobiles how nice it was not to have them and how much extra time they had and we always notice the change in their personalities, teenagers are addicted to technology in the true sense of the word. All I would suggest is laying down rules and sticking to them,

Why don't you just take it away from her? She won't die without it, even she knows she won't really...get her a boring phone, get your daughter back.

I have heard that piling all the mobiles into the middle of a table and the first person to touch their phone buys the drinks. Perhaps you could adapt this to doing the washing up. If she touches her phone, at least you get the washing up done!