hobby/pastime ideas for 12yo

[Rhymenoseros]

My 12 year old DS is constantly bored. I have been trying to encourage him to join a club or group but there is not a lot on in my area. He doesn't want to learn an instrument and says no to any clubs i suggest like scouts or army cadets.

I am really struggling to get him motivated to do anything other than the darned xbox. he has a bmx but will only ride it when i walk the dog-he won't go off with his friends as they like to do skids and stunts and he doesn't want to do that. He is not particularly sociable and finds it hard to make and keep friends and lacks confidence in himself.

any ideas for activities at home or ways to persuade him to join a club? i don't want to force him to join a club but I am sick to death of him hanging around being bored and picking arguments.

Firstly switch off the dratted X box and the TV and any other screen based entertainment after chatting through reasonable access times. Definitely no screens in the last hour before bed as that is really bad for teen sleep apparently. He may then naff of to a mates to play Xbox but at least that will be semi sociable! Too much screen time is bad for kids IMHO.

He needs to find some thing that he likes and stick with it until he's good enough to enjoy it- I've said it before on "bored kids" threads but I think kids just don't learn to keep going with anything these days (old wrinkly that's me!).

My kids do music and DS plays rugby. THey have stickabilty in excess and have to be persuaded to give stuff up but I know they are unusual. I would suggest he get out there and sing- classical, rock, rap anything- you must have a non auditioned choir around? All 3 of mine have had phases when they've gone into choir with the world on their backs- tears on the way because life is so terrible etc and an hour later they are back to normal. It's magic.

Does your DS watch sport- if so why not try doing some? again it is brilliant to lift mood, make friends and get/keep fit. I wouldn't encourage him to run the streets unless you will too (couch to 5K together could work?) and I'd certainly not go for solitary gym work- not so good.

If none of this sounds good what does he want to do long term- what about something related to this?

Ultimately I'd say homework done, screen time limit reached then go be bored in your room, with a book or a sketchpad or a diary maybe.Or if you can't be bored with out irritating me- see that car out there, needs washing, those borders need weeding and the table needs a wipe and a hoover underneath- that is unless YOU can find something better to do!

hi Theas18 thank you for your reply, my son does not like competitive sports at all, watching or playing, which is a shame. I agree with kids not having the 'stickability' both of mine don't seem to want to try anything that requires persistence and learning ie musical instruments. Its frustrating!

My two have limited time on the computer (an hour a day) and watch one tv show a day, my other lad is a big reader which is great but DS2 thinks books are boring! I am trying to find him an art club as he has a great style with art.

I have been using the 'right well the laundry/hoovering/washing up needs doing' since i read your reply and it does work! he does have a bit of 'attitude' with it though!( a whole other subject!)

My DS hates team/competetive sports too and is not the most sociable. I made him give scouts a go, and after a bit of a rocky start he has now moved on to explorers which he loves.
He went to Holland for a Jamborette for 3 weeks this summer, and loved it.
My deal was that he had to give it a go ( a month/4 meetings at least) then he could stop going if he didnt like it. It worked for scouts, didnt work for karate, kayaking, drum lessons, choir......I could go on !
I think you've got to push the boundaries a bit , hopefully he will find something to stick with.

When DS was 12 we got him a cheap digital camcorder thinking he could make simple films as a bit of a hobby.

We are now almost three years further on and he writes scripts, collects friends (and even his teachers who all seem to want a starring role) together to be actors , does all the editing and special effects, adds a soundtrack and has even had a film in a local film festival.

indoor climbing? Lots of climbing places have older kids sessions he could try!

Hi thanks for all your responses, I have managed to find an art class in our area that he is keen to join and I am taking him to army cadets for a 'trial' of a month, which I am really hoping he will enjoy as I think cadets/scouts are great for life skills (I was a Guide) and he certainly needs to have a bit more respect for authority.
He is drawing and sketching a lot more when he is bored as clearly that is better than housework