Disgruntled Mum

[WillIEverBeASizeTen]

OK...

I feel used and unappreciated. I have little consideration shown, home is always a tip, despite constant asking to keep (relatively) tidy. No help is given in the home, again despite constant asking/telling/ordering. There's always and excuse, however, still manages to find time to do go to friends etc. The constant nagging and grounding is exhausting and draining. I love my DS13 very much indeed, but sadly, I don't like him (or rather his behaviour) particularly. Does anyone else feel this way, or am I an evil cow?

I wouldn't let any other person treat me this way, why do I allow it and what can I do to change it?

I take it he is your first teenager!

Teenagers are selfish. They are rude. They show no respect for their parents and live only for their friends. I ahve one, who I love to bits but she winds me up no end (and yes yes there are exceptions but you know what I mean)

BUT

Get this book It is THE BEST book about teens and how to get them to start to do what you want a bit more it really is a great book and bits of it have really worked with my daughter

I have one of those too (thankfully not all the time!), but she's not even 12 yet. Just ordered the book

cyb Actually, he's my second. My DD went through her teens in a heartbeat it seems. Not even a ripple, that's why I think I find this so hard, cos she's a real sweetie. I have never used so much psychological tactics in my life!

I will have a look at the book, thank you very much:)

i feel exactly the same way, my 16 yr old DD is sooooooooooo lazy, she thinks im her slave at times, if i ask her to do anything ..its always 'in a min' which turns into weeks, or im busy..yet she expects me to drop everything im doing to run round after her,even down to passes her clothes to her and making her breakfast and me been stupid does it. Yesterday was the worse, she asked me to press the mouse button on the PC for her, when i said no i was called a lazy cow! I have 2 other children in the house whom will help out and do things for themselves.. Arguements start cos DD wont do anything, and i explain to her that im not her slave, i just get loads of abuse. Her friends are shocked and have told her that its not right to treat her mum like she does, she just finds it funny!

Mirror the behaviour. Remember toddlers and that whining when you didnt hear it because they werent speaking properly this is the same. Lift to town didnt hear you, in a minute etc. Need money, yep in a minute. As for the house take her out for coffee, its unlikely she will strop in public and tell her how it is. You cant manage everyones mess and so she along with others has to help BUT you do need to a) not take it personally, difficult I know b) stick to your guns, DO NOT be a pushover and c) only make threats you are prepared to carry out.
It will get better, promise. And the book really really helps.

im going to get the book too .. mine does strop in public, shes an embarassment to us all at times lol

so glad to have seen this. Just spent half term alone with DS. He's supposed to have been revising for school exams. I can cope with the physical laziness just about but my God the total lack of any intellectual curiosity drives me mad. If it doesn't involve FIFA 11 he is not interested.

And anything that he now knows, being 14 and not 4, will require work is an instant No however much I sex it up. Electric guitar lessons? No thanks. Join the local drama society to meet girls? Nah. He joined a couple of local football teams but after realising they weren't going to put him straight into the A team he quits. It drives DH nuts because he has a massive work ethic. I'm more laid back about being a couch potato but my god how can the off spring of two highly intelligent cultural people have not one iota of anything remotely interesting to say or ask us??

TBH it makes me really quite sad.

I think mumalot is sharing my ds2! I've got an older ds who is an absolute pleasure to be around - enquiring, enthusiastic, interested in world affairs. How could two boys be soooo different!

MADE ds2 watch "13 Days" last night (about the Cuban Missile Crisis) as revision for his History GCSE. He was so not interested, but sat through most of it anyway - a real achievement for me I think!