Do CAHMS ever tell parents anything if child over 16?

[sarva]

Hi there,
DD had first meeting with CAHMS yesterday, but I wasn't allowed to sit in as she's 16 years 3 mths and she preferred to be on her own. DD is secretive anyway, so couldn't get much about how it went - she said they were weird and it was all pointless. They couldn't give her a diagnosis as they didn't want to "label her". She says she may get counselling, but sees this as a waste of time as she wouldn't tell them anythng. They're going to send her GP a letter, but I won't see this as she's over 16, so I'll still be completely in the dark as to what's wrong with her. I feel so disappointed, as thought this would really help. She seems lower in mood than ever following the meeting - she was hoping for anti-depressants/sleeping pills. Anyone had this kind of experience with CAHMS?

I have, last year when DD was a similar age, but previously about 4 years ago when we had family therapy (ugh).

Last year everything that CAHMS sent they sent to DD and CCed me and GP in, so we saw all correspondence. Have to say my DDs attitude was similar to yours and indeed she did cover up in counselling, in the end refusing to go, skipping appointments and being discharged despite them saying she definitely needed more support (was talking about suicide at the time).

I felt very let down by CAHMS, but ultimately more let down by DD as she absolutely refused help, and still has similar issues today.

The best "help" we had was family mediation which our GP arranged for us, not perfect but helped ME cope better at least....

Hi Strenua, interesting that at least they cc'd you. From what my DD told me I won't hear anything. She even asked them to email her letter to her directly in case I intercepted her post - I have never done this and never would, but she thought it was funny to imply I was really controlling which I don't think I am... They asked her permission to contact a teacher at school, but she said they never asked about contacting her family.
My DD does sound very similar to yours. There is definitely a problem, but I feel powerless to help as don't know what it is - I perhaps couldn't help anyway, but it's funny how it all has to be so secret because it's a mental health problem. The irony is I think her unwillingness to talk about it makes it all worse...

Sarva, I am so sorry that the meeting didn't go as well as you hoped. Like you I'm very frustrated by the fact that there is not more help available - I have not been impressed with CAMHS. It was our GP who eventually stepped in and prescribed medication. I'd go back to her/him and also speak to the pastoral unit at her school - the education psychologist my daughter was referred to was via this route, it was a new initiative for children with mental health issues that had just started up in our area.

Strenua I know exactly what you mean re the skipping appointments - my DD is the same. Avoidance is part of her condition, so we just go round in circles. I was hoping the anti-ds would not only improve her mood but would enable her to deal with her anxieties, but so far she has missed two appointments. Still, it's early days, she's only been on them 5 weeks.

Thanks Noscat. I'd need to convince DD to let me come with her to GP - she hasn't the last 2 times and he cannot discuss her condition with me due to patient confidentiality as she is 16+. He did say that he did not have a problem per se with prescribing ad's, but would need a diagnosis from a psychiatrist, so guess it will depend on what the CAHMs one concluded. The school have been great, but can't tell me anything either as she's 16+...

I don't know if this helps - I went to a mental health conference yesterday run by an early intervention service, part of a mental health trust in Kent.

There was much talk of BFG - Behavioural Family Therapy www.meridenfamilyprogramme.com/events.php?event=21

whereby the family works together with the service (therapists, nurses, I suppose). When the 'client' is not interested, the rest of the family - perhaps parent/s alone - can nevertheless be supported and meet with the therapists etc.

And this may be going too far at this stage, but apparently carers can have their own assessment/care plan. Perhaps this could incorporate a desire to be kept informed. Yesterday, there was so much emphasis on the important role of the family. Quite at odds with my experience of mental health services for one of my DCs in another area but the Trust where you are may be more enlightened. You could find out who is trained in BFT at CAMHS or the local early intervention service and speak with them.

If your daughter wants to try antidepressants for her difficulties she needs to ask to see the psychiatrist at CAMHS. Doesn't sound from yr description that you saw a psychiatrist on this occasion.

Hi, Oops I seem to have posted the same thread twice, by mistake, sorry about that.

DD did see a see the psychiatrist - that was one of the few words I could make out - both of the women had very heavily accented English. DD told me in her session with them - which lasted about 2 hours - she got bored with saying pardon or sorry and just shrugged a lot, which she thought was funny as it apparently made them scribble more. Not sure if DD actually realised the seriousness of the situation...
I've calmed down a bit now - had a really good session with guidance folk at school without DD - got called up because she had been skipping lots of classes and wandering round the school grounds in a daze.

Anyway, they were very supportive and said that kids often went backwards in the early days of a referral to cahms and about how it's important for dd to take responsibility for her own actions. It was also good because the stories (about how she feels and about the cahms session) she had told me matched what she had said to the one teacher she trusts - so hoping she is telling the truth for a change.