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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How do you get a teenager to clean his/her bedroom?

82 replies

CrosswordAddict · 07/03/2011 12:59

Is there a painless way to get a teenager to tidy up and/or even clean her bedroom? If so, can other Mumsnetters put me in the picture?

OP posts:
seeker · 07/03/2011 13:02

No. Just keep the door shut. if they want it messy them let them have it messy then let them have it messy. It's their room!

pinotatnicks · 07/03/2011 13:26

This works for me. Put all the mess on their bed, everything including clothes, shoes, cups and sweet/crisp packets and leave it there. They are then forced to deal with it before they can go to bed.

TheVisitor · 07/03/2011 13:27

As long as there's nothing rotting in there and the window is opened occasionally, just keep the door shut.

seeker · 07/03/2011 13:49

But why, potatonicks? Why does it matter? And How would you feel if someone did that to you?

seeker · 07/03/2011 13:51

Where did potatonicks come from????? Obviously your new name!

Monty27 · 07/03/2011 13:51

When they need money to go somewhere or want to go somewhere, tell them they can go when their bedroom is tidy. Works for me. Good luck.

TallulahDoesTheHula · 07/03/2011 13:53

Make allowance money/phone bill etc related to clean bedroom?

I'd feel embarrassed if someone did the piling everything on the bed thing to me, but it might make me buck my ideas up!
If you live in your own house, paid for yourself then a messy room is your own business. If you live in your parents house (and presumably dont pay full rent) then you need to respect their house a bit and keep it at least respectable imo

cybilliberty · 07/03/2011 13:54

I remove lap top until its done

toast55 · 07/03/2011 13:55

Chocolate

noddyholder · 07/03/2011 13:55

Ds is supposed to clean his room every Sunday which means it gets done about every 4 in reality. Use it as a bribe if the smell gets too much otherwise close the door and see how long they can do without washing. I generally have given up with this and only really insist on crockery coming down occasionally as he has had so many glasses up there in the past that he resorted to drinking milkmfrom champagne flutes when there were no more glasses le rather than wash one or bring stuff down!

exoticfruits · 07/03/2011 14:00

I just close the door! He likes a mess and it is his room. He isn't allowed to make a mess anywhere else. Does it matter?

oldenoughtowearpurple · 07/03/2011 14:08

No, there is no painless way. You have to choose from a selection of least-worst options

  • have a row
  • have several more rows
  • bribery
  • remove something important, then have a row
  • give in and do it yourself
  • wait till they move out, then give in and do it yourself
  • offer it to the tv people for a 'how disgusting is my house' tv makeover
  • rent it out as a forensic science teaching aid/potential source for a new range of antibiotics/biological weapons
  • napalm

Don't forget to take lots of photos to embarrass her with when she has disgusting teenagers of her own

seeker · 07/03/2011 14:09

But it's their bedroom in their house! Surely they can do more or less what they like with it? It's different with rooms the whole family use, obviously.

polskiprincess · 07/03/2011 14:14

With my (D)SC I tend to go with the line of put it away or I will put it away for you.....in the wheelie bin, that seems to work better than when I put all their crap (clothes and floor debris) into a bin liner for them to take home to their mum's house Wink

cybilliberty · 07/03/2011 14:14

seeker dont you think basic hygiene , cleanliness and tidiness are important skills for a teenager to have?

Yes on a scale of what they could be getting up to its pretty minor but I say its my house, my rules and no cups, mugs, wet towels or striped knickers on the floor are allowed

MaryMungo · 07/03/2011 14:25

How much work do you want to put into it, and what's causing the majority of the mess? If it's mainly clothes, take them all away and dole them out one outfit (of your choosing) at a time. Don't give them another til the previous outfit's been sorted. Ditto for other groups of items.

pinotatnicks · 07/03/2011 14:29

Seeker, it's their bedroom yes, but they need to learn the basics like putting dirty clothes in the wash, hygiene etc and a good way of doing this is to start by taking care of their room. And no I am not a clean freak!

Original poster
CrosswordAddict · 07/03/2011 14:47

Have just got back from physio session.
Thanks for all your suggestions.
I will certainly try out a few of them but maybe not the napalm one unless I get desperate Wink
Monty27 Your idea sounds the most realistic - wait until they really want something and say they can have it if they tidy up room - but I can see that could be expensive.

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 07/03/2011 15:39

I ask them to put things in the wash and remove cups etc but you don't have to tidy it to do this. I find that they are then more inclined to tidier when they go away. My DS Skypes from his university room and it looks reasonable. I'm sure that if I insisted on him keeping it to my standards at home he would have a reaction when he went away. I can't see any need to do more than close the door-it is his room.

Monty27 · 07/03/2011 15:41

Crossword - when DS (15) asks if he can go skateboarding or have a friend round, I tell him he can when his room his tidy. It doesn't cost me anything :)

exoticfruits · 07/03/2011 15:47

If it was my DC he would choose the messy room!
I wouldn't like anyone telling me I can't go out until I have washed the kitchen foor-I am quite happy to do it but at a time of my choosing.

seeker · 07/03/2011 17:07

No dirty cups, clothes and so on in the rest of the house- but their rooms at their rooms. And as for 'my house, my rules'- u don't think it isbyour house-it's everyone's house, surely?

usualsuspect · 07/03/2011 17:09

I shut the door, its his room, pick your battles with teeangers ,this is not one of them

Bonsoir · 07/03/2011 17:12

Why would anyone allow children or teenagers to take food/drink into their bedrooms? Never let them go down that route and a lot of your problems are solved.

exoticfruits · 07/03/2011 17:14

I am in my study now. It is clean, but a mess as I am in the middle of about 3 different projects. I will tidy it up when I am ready. I would resent someone telling me that I must tidy it now and I must tidy to their satisfaction or I must tidy it before I go out. I would think 'why are you bothered-close the door and don't look!'
I don't see why a teen is different-ask them to move dirty cups and laundry and shut the door-when you want the bed changed, give them the clean sheets.