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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

How do you get a teenager to clean his/her bedroom?

82 replies

CrosswordAddict · 07/03/2011 12:59

Is there a painless way to get a teenager to tidy up and/or even clean her bedroom? If so, can other Mumsnetters put me in the picture?

OP posts:

QuickLookBusy · 08/03/2011 21:26

I leave them to it, until it gets to what I call "dangerous". I don't drive them anywhere until it's clean and tidy. As we live in the middle of nowhere it's quite effective.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 08/03/2011 21:34

I don't necessarily think it's a British thing. Several of my non-British neighbours have similar issues.

Mine haven't 'dictated their upbringing' by any means and despite me not laying rules down about their rooms do somehow manage to live in relative cleanliness. Also there's a huge difference in 'teenagers'; at 13 they do as they're told but at 19 and paying their way ds can hoover his room as and when he pleases.

alemci · 08/03/2011 21:39

I don't like my kids in my room either. they may go up there to watch tv or do hair at my dressing table if they wish.

I know my room wasn't exactly pristine when i was a teenager and they do get fed up with the mess eventually.

interestingly my ED went to stay with some male students at university in half term. Her and her female friend were disgusted with the mess and cleaned up the kitchen and bathroom. My DD knows her own house is clean and pleasant to live in, its just she'd just rather not have to do it as she knows i will.

with yd i can withhold money etc but ED she has a part time job so more difficult to control but she does do it from time to time.

exoticfruits · 08/03/2011 22:30

Mine haven't dictated anything either and there are rules-they can't make a mess everywhere and they have to do their share of housework, but I still can't understand why their rooms have to be tidy-no one is going in unless they invite them.
If I was selling the house they would have to tidy it-if they needed to give it up when Granny visits they would have to tidy it, or similar.
Most of the time it is their room entirely and if they want it messy I just keep the door shut. Do you think that friends, family and neighbours are marking you out of 10 for housework?! Why would they even see the room?

GetOrfMoiLand · 08/03/2011 22:35

I don't care. She can do what she likes in there. She is a very good girl in most other things, so if she wants to be a slob I think that is a pretty good deal.

I am ITT tidy in the rest of thye house, and dd plays ball by doing her share of the chores round the house. But if she can't be bothered to make her bed, and her socks hang out of her drawers all over the floor, well I am not going to waste my time ranting. The only hard and fast rule is that she brings any cups downstairs and empties rubbish bin, which she does.

Sometimes I go in there and go 'jesus christ' at which she looks shamefaced and moves things round a bit (i.e shoves a load of stuff under the bed). And she has a blitz every so often and throws stuff away/moves bed about etc. So I don't think it is a complete festering disaster.

But seriously - pick your battles. Not worth getting all shouty about this one.

GetOrfMoiLand · 08/03/2011 22:37

Christ my spelling is all overt he shop tonight - apols.

sue52 · 08/03/2011 22:37

As long as DD makes her bed, puts the laundry in the basket and brings down cups and plates occasionally I don't mind a bit of mess. In a few years they will be out in the world earning a living, paying rent and have a whole host of adult responsibilities, I just try and let her have her room as a sanctuary from school and adult life for a few short years.

Lindylou42 · 10/03/2011 20:22

My DD is 16yrs. Generally I just shut the door. I have tried allsorts in the past with no long term success;

I have stuck a notice on her closed door stating "Do Not Enter - CRIME SCENE" and explained to her that I was thinking about ringing the police to report a burglary, but would find it hard to explain why they had left everywhere else tidy.

I have fumigated her room with insect stuff from the pet shop - told her entry was banned for three hours as I had to kill off the bugs I had seen.

I've done all sorts but now just resigned to the fact if she wants to live like that - let her!!

Teenagers!!! Don't you just love them!

Niceguy2 · 10/03/2011 21:36

I've heard an electric cattleprod sometimes works!

mumeeee · 11/03/2011 21:53

Almost impossible to get a teenager to clean/tidy their room. Just shut the door and leave the rom to them.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 12/03/2011 10:56

Hmm - where canI source one of those Niceguy. And does it work on husbands......?

bonniethecat · 14/03/2011 14:07

If they have so many dirty cups/plate and rubbish, go to the fishing tackle shop and get a few maggots. Just before they are due home put them on something dirty and then tell your child to go and look at what you found in their room. Might scare them enough so you don't get any more dirty stuff left in their room.

LaurieFairyCake · 14/03/2011 14:12

I let her have it untidy.

But I don't allow:

food/drinks in the room
all washing needs to be put in the basket by Friday evening or I won't wash it
Towel hung up outside the room so it dries between uses
window to be left open every morning

She comes down every Sunday and asks for the cleaning spray and duster to give it a quick once over (voluntarily) and she has it 'messy' the rest of the time.

mumblechum1 · 14/03/2011 15:17

I spent two hours last week just clearing the floor and surfaces sufficiently to hoover/polish.

I found 11 teaspoons ffs (all those yogurts).

Didn't even go near under the bed/cupboards.

Strenua · 15/03/2011 10:09

Even my cleaner is told to avoid the teen room. She had a dead pet hamster in there for a week....on more than one occasion actually. Revolting child.

DeepFriedMarsBar · 25/03/2012 22:25

My son had made occasional, half-hearted attempts to tidy his room before he went off to uni a few years back and his return visits only added to the layers of stuff on the already-invisible floor, and the door was always kept shut to stop our cat making its home in there. While visiting last weekend though, he called me to help find the source of a strange noise coming from a canvass bag that he'd left on a previous visit, and which he'd forgotten contained a small box of chocolates. I took the bag outside to release its inhabitant - a mouse. My son came back this weekend specifically to sort out his room and, with the help of a friend, did an excellent job! You don't need to wait for an uninvited rodent to pass through on the right occasion like me though... you can just pop down to the local pet store!

cybbo · 25/03/2012 22:27

I say if its not in the laundry bin I wont wash it

I have been known to pile everything, dirty pants, cereal bowls, papers on top of her lap top because that's all she really wants and she couldn't see it without clearing her crap first

cybbo · 25/03/2012 22:29

My D is allergic to the window being open to such an extent the pea souper sticks in my throat when I venture in

usualsuspect · 25/03/2012 22:30

I use the shut the door on it school of parenting.

His room , he can do what he likes in it.

silverbay · 25/03/2012 22:32

When they get a girlfriend/boyfriend they start to tidy it. DS even takes the hoover up there

LaGrenouille · 25/03/2012 22:47

I take dd's computer and she soon sorts it out. She leaves disgusting things in there. I emptied her bin the other day and there was a half eaten banana in there. I've removed worse, mind

Having said that, she now refuses to put clean bedding on, as 'she can't do it'. So she will have to sleep without the duvet cover on. I'm not doing it at this time of night. She does nothing around the house anyhow, so it's not like I'm being mean by not doing it for her.

Maryz · 26/03/2012 08:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VikingVagine · 06/06/2012 22:52

I'm re-resurrecting it (I searched "messy bedroom"). DS is almost ten and already showing strong signs of messiness.

DH always had everything done for him (even now if he goes to stay with his parents. His mum goes through up his suitcase to get any dirty washing . He is a very messy DH.

My DM used to shout at/threaten me with until she was blue in the face to get me to tidy my room, to no avail. I am a messy person.

The house is reasonable most of the time (less so at the moment because of work) but we try and keep on top of the communal areas for the kids' sakes.

DS doesn't seem to care about his room being a tip, DH tried the old bin bag line to which DS just replied ok, I'll just tidy away what I want to keep then. He can spend a full day in his room 'tidying' without really getting anything done (just ends up playing with something he'd forgotten about and rediscovered.

Seeing as we're not the tidiest people on earth, I don't know how unfair it is that we insist on him clearing his room, but I'm one of the my house, my rules bunch, so I don't want any extra mess from DS.

Buntingbunny · 06/06/2012 22:56

Invite a friend of theirs for tea.

sugarice · 07/06/2012 12:24

I'm currently in a stand off with ds1 17. He's been footballing every day this week and those nasty little black pellets from astro are scattered all over his carpet. Until he hoovers his room no washing of his is done. I'm itching to hoover in there but hell will freeze over before I do it.

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