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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teen girls falling out..

36 replies

RatherBeOnThePiste · 04/03/2011 14:19

Reassure me that this happens and eventually they move on?

DD has fallen out with her friends, and is now suffering the you are such a bitch comments, and lack of a party invite. She has tried to sort this out, but there are two who continue to be so foul.

I just want reassurance and ideas of how best to support her through this.

Sad
OP posts:
Original poster
RatherBeOnThePiste · 04/03/2011 14:41

.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 04/03/2011 14:44

yes,this sounds normal!

usually all friends again soon tho!

Original poster
RatherBeOnThePiste · 04/03/2011 14:53

This was a big row though!
Thank you though for posting I feel pathetically tearful

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Original poster
RatherBeOnThePiste · 04/03/2011 15:23

Any more suggestions?!

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dexter73 · 04/03/2011 15:49

Don't get involved! This happens all the time and they will be best friends again soon and someone else will be the 'bitch'. Don't you just love teenage girls Hmm!

Ooopsadaisy · 04/03/2011 15:54

It's a big old bitchfest at the moment.

On Monday they had all declared war on each other and today they are all BFF.

FFS.

I say "how was school today?" and all I get is:

"A fell out with B, so C sent a text to D who isn't speaking to A because B doesn't like E and F wouldn't sit with G at lunchtime cos we don't like her hair and H's sister stared at I so she wouldn't walk home with J .........

FFS.

GypsyMoth · 04/03/2011 15:56

i would be cautious about msn and facebook....it can get particularly vicious on there....maybe 'lose' internet connection for a bit or something

Original poster
RatherBeOnThePiste · 04/03/2011 16:02

I absolutely will not get hooked into this. It is agony isn't it though? Were we the same?!

It is pathetic but deeply hurtful too.

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Lindylou42 · 04/03/2011 16:42

I've got three DD's ranging from 16 through to 25 years.
Believe me - when they are teenagers they fall out, bitch - then make friends, then do it all over again.

I have also learnt that you never - ever get the full story - so stay well out of it, they will sort themselves out eventually

Original poster
RatherBeOnThePiste · 04/03/2011 20:04

I am not getting involved!! God no!!It is moving on and I am glad it's the weekend although they are doing school sport tomorrow morning. There are a couple who are stirring matters but the rest have moved on from the row. I think the couple stirring it are enjoying it in a weird way.

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Maryz · 05/03/2011 00:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pumpster · 05/03/2011 00:07

I feel your pain! I try and stay out of it but it's hard as dd insists on sharing everything with me... (I sometimes wish she was like I was with my parents-cagey!)
I always try and offer 'devil's advocate' type advice and tell her to treat others how she would like to be treated. I think she can be as bitchy as the rest of them though.
Where friends are concerned boys are sooooo much easier.

Original poster
RatherBeOnThePiste · 05/03/2011 09:43

Yes. I too get a blow by blow a account at the moment. Its now at the two sides stage Still. Hopefully it will cool down over the weekend a bit.

I am grateful for all these wise words of experience they have made me feel a bit tougher!

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sharon2609 · 05/03/2011 11:55

Lol at oops This is soooooooo common. DD is just coming out the other side of a particularly drawn out feud with group of girls.

I think we suffer more than the kids. I dread it when DD comes home and says A and B aren't speaking to her.
Picked her up from school Fri and saw them all hugging... The relief I felt was overwhelming!!!!!

Agree with avoiding Facebook.

Ooopsadaisy · 05/03/2011 12:34

sharon6909 - when does it end?

There's texts going backwards and forwards here deciding whether to go to the cinema this afternoon - in case XYZ is there.

I've told DD that if this doesn't stop then she's not going anyway.

sharon2609 · 05/03/2011 14:23

According to the school this evens itself out in about year 9/10.

Dd is so pleased they are now all friends.
I wish I could speak to them all and say if it happens again I will bash their heads together.

i think it's an insecurity thing. They all want to be top dog and it's easier to be nasty to some girls and keep a little clique of girls close to them. All the while they're busy bitching about somone else it means they're safe.

Ooopsadaisy · 05/03/2011 15:55

Oh gosh - two years to go then.

It's all so immature isn't it?

DD thinks she's all "it" cos she's at secondary school now but they behave worse than 5 year olds.

DS doesn't help - he likes to wind her up about it.

sharon2609 · 05/03/2011 16:00

It really drives me mad.
Now all ex bitchy lot are calling round for dd tomorrow........which is great that they're all mates again...I will have to superglue my mouth together so I dont say anything to them !

Tortington · 05/03/2011 16:02

my dd is eighteen and still has these immature spats with people at college- or they do with her - whatever.

Ooopsadaisy · 05/03/2011 16:05

I'm sure I didn't carry on like this.

Actually, our group at school was made up of girls and boys so it was probably a less competitive environment.

DD is at a mixed school, but they don't seem to actually mix like I did.

sharon2609 · 05/03/2011 16:17

Dont say that custardo I'm all psyched up for it ending next year Hmm

Original poster
RatherBeOnThePiste · 05/03/2011 16:19

DD is at mixed school and likes to have friends that are boys but her friendship group as a whole is just girls which is a shame.

DD is in Year 9 and it still seems to be going on strong.
< bangs head against brick wall >

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Tortington · 05/03/2011 16:26

i thought it would be too and it is in the main but dd had a huge fall out with some girl and them two groups of friends got involved - the texting was going like the clappers and it was such a drama

sharon2609 · 05/03/2011 16:26

It is really difficult for us parents to stand by and see our kids upset. I have no real suggestions apart from having a word with the school (which is what I did in the end).

i tried to give my DD suggestions of funny things to say to the bitchy lot in order to break the feud.

(such as going cross eyed at them and saying 'I weeeeely weeeeely wuff you')

DD thought I was mad!!

Deaddei · 05/03/2011 18:15

Oh I am glad others share my pain.
Going online makes it a million times worse, especially as they can't spell and misinterpret text speak.
Then it's all lol and bff.