I have done something mean and wicked

[ScreamEagle]

Have nagged her for months and months about putting her dirty washing in the laundry basket. Have threatened lots of times not to do it if it isn't in there....

So her school uniform is still in a heap on her bedroom floor where she chucked it on Friday evening along with at least 8 pairs of dirty knickers and socks and numerous other items of clothing.

Thing is, come tomorrow morning she will have no school uniform which is clean. Shall I remind her so I can wash it in time? Or, (as I am inclined to do) leave it and let her wear dirty, crumpled uniform to school?

I would be really blunt with her. I would tell her that she stinks, that she stinks because she has dirty habits and that she is letting herself(and you) down by being too lazy to remember to, not even wash the clothes, but merely put them in the basket. This (as you know) is an important lesson. Life is difficult enough without having to go through it smelling bad. Even if she is gorgeus and smart and funny people will only remember the fact that she smells bad. And imho this is one of those conversations that only a mother could have with her daughter. Good luck (I was a mucky madam when I was her age, so I know what I'm talking about )

My kids used to put their dirty clothes in the basket when they were little; partly because they would have a bath every night and the laundry basket was next to the bath - I bet your DD did too, SE? Not doing tends to kick in with the hormones and I bet your boys will lapse when puberty hits (and Enid, don't say I didn't warn you...)

DS1 (17) is the same, he has at least 8 school shirts and he still runs out even though he knows he will have to wear a dirty one. It's his problem - hers in your case - good grief, we wash the sodding laundry, we are not their lady's maids! Just leave it where it is - don't make it your problem.

I agree with everyone else but think I'd write her a note as a last warning because she sounds pretty forgetful and disorganised. Something like
Dear dd,
Noticed your uniform wasn't in the wash basket. If you'd like it clean for tomorrow you can use the washing machine any time tonight.
Love mum xxx
Then leave her to it and hope for the best.

I would hold firm and neither wash it nor remind her. When the sh*t hits the fan I would take the opportunity to sit down and agree some ground rules - i.e. if she puts her clothes in the basket, you will wash them, if not, they stay dirty. Use it as a chance to clear the air and ask for what you think is reasonable - but be prepared to compromise as well. It should be a win / win situation for both of you. Phrase it so that you are doing a deal together which you both need to stick to.

I am embarrassed to say I left home completely unable to look after myself, as my mum had always (ungraciously) done it for me. I didn't care that she nagged, I didn't care that she complained. She always did it in the end so what did it matter? I wish someone had been firm with me and made me do my share round the house, as 16 years later I am still struggling to learn how to look after a home.

During the summer holidays I sat down with all the older 3 kids and drew up a chores list together with a reminder of what they need to get ready the night before so they are not running around looking for stuff in the morning.

They make their packed lunches the night before, do their homework and make sure their shoes are clean and their uniforms hung out ready.

So dd cannot say she has not had warnings, been nagged at enough or prompted. The written reminder is up on the dining room wall for all to see and has been for 6 weeks.

'Nuff warning methinks.

Leave it-I hate teens at the mo and they deserve to smell and be laughed at. DON'T give in, remember all those times you've nagged and wasted your breath. This lessn will probably work, let her learn..

Course, in the morning 'twill be all my fault!

I would give her one more reminder. Then lif she doesn't take the hint leave it.
If she had a laundry bag in her room would she put her dirty clothes in that. I collected the bag at first then as she got older she would wash it herself. She is now at uni and I know she will do her washing.

id mention it in passing like have you got everything ready for tomorrow

She has had dozens of reminders from me in the past.

Also this pile of clothes is piled up on the threshold of her doorway so all weekend she has had to step over/walk over it to get in and out of her bedroom.

in that case leave it she obviously knows its there and thinks you will do it

I mean, how could she not know the pile she was walking all over needs washing?

She will be home soon so fallout may be imminent !

sounds like my house!!! leave it right there!!!!
wish you luck with any fall out!!

Don't weaken. Let her go to school skanky. I bet it's the last time she forgets to put it in the laundry basket.

Hold firm, Scream, don't remind her again. She's got to learn the hard way.

scummies idea is the most humane i think.
i agree entirely with HMB's sentiments ( surprise)

when my kids moan they have nothing to wear i always come over sarcastic " oh no, theres a new invention its called ...no really its great..its called the......washing.......ma..ch..in..e, i swear is revolutionary you put your clothes in turn the dial to number three pop some poder in the top and ...no...this is the science bit......45 mins later your stuff clean.....praise Jesus its a miricle"

i get loads of eye rolling and huffing and arms crossed but i amuse myself. and as long as i'm happy.....

just for info - i scream upstairs on a sunday - "uniforms NOW" they all bring their uniforms down and put in washing machine - we press the button and dry it - we even do the monday morning iron.

if when they come home from school they dont hang their uniform up and it end ups on the floor - they have to do subsequent morning iron.

if they get filthy due to footy match in mud puddles on the way home - they wash and iron it.

thems the rules

Softies!
Set fire to her bedroom!

Please tell us what happened on Monday moening ,if you dont post we will know you gave in and washed it .

Ok I know MORNING .

I have said in a very loud voice so all of the 3 kids can hear "Please make sure you have uniform pe kit and books ready for the morning."

She's still sitting on the sofa watching telly.

I'm sure she knows and is holding out for me to mention it directly to her.

Shan't.

teenagers can be so so funny - they take themselves so seriously though! (I was a total nightmare btw)