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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

My 19 yt old daughter is pregnant and I feel so protective over her I dread to think what would happen if someone hurt her either physically or mentally

11 replies

rainthepain · 01/10/2005 18:21

My daughter and I have always been close but now she is pregnant I feel so protective over her that I swear I would kill if anyone threatened her physically or mentally.She is 19 and has gone through a lot but I think this feeling must be an extension of the maternal instinct... the matriarchal female protcting the females of the pack. What does any one elso think? Has anyone felt the same?

OP posts:
spacecadet · 01/10/2005 18:24

i think its normal, i was 18 when i fell preg with dd1 and even my mother who isnt very demonstrative, fussed over me, if and when my dd falls preg, i know i will be fussing over her, she will probably end up telling me to get lost!

Original poster
rainthepain · 01/10/2005 21:32

My daughters loving it at the moment but im aware that once the baby is born i will hve to tread really carefully and try not to take over.

OP posts:
suedonim · 01/10/2005 22:31

I feel like that about my 18yo dd (some horrid customer made a sexual remark to her at her work and I wanted to find and 'eliminate' him) even though she isn't pg. It must be the sisterhood, I guess.

Pixiefish · 01/10/2005 22:35

when i had dd i was 34 and my mum was exactly like that. she had a go at dh for not pulling his weight and when i had a particularly stroppy mw at home mum made sure she was there. even though i'm a grown woman and left home at 18 she was stillvery protective. She still thinks syhe knows best now. Initially it was ok but i don't think she's got the balance sorted yet

mother3 · 01/10/2005 23:30

Dont worry it will be great to be a nanny and as long as your daughter has a good dp u dont have 2 be so protective .I had a bad time with dd1 abusive dh still with him but i keep an eye on the situation she wants 2 be with him.I can only pick up the pieces as usal .He seems 2 have changed but only when he has an audience.Not fooled have 5 grankids who love 2 be at mine no matter how much u r over protective they will go thier own way.

tammybear · 01/10/2005 23:37

my mum takes over a lot with me. i was 17 when pregnant, 18 when i had her. mum was with me when i gave birth. i think she tends to forget im dd's mum, as im still her "little girl" in her eyes. its annoying, but i can understand why shes like that.

and i think id be very overprotective if my dd fell pregnant at a "young" age. ive been through a lot of shit in my life, but it gave me a great sense of responsibility, made me a better person, and has given me a reason in life to make something of myself

missycantstop · 01/10/2005 23:55

hi i'm a 19 year old mum to three. Please do not make too much fuss over her, as you know after she has had the baby she will not want anyone to get the way of her and the baby. Don't make too much fuss now and you won't get hurt in the future when the baby arrives. Im sure your daughter will be fine and i wish her the best.

mother3 · 02/10/2005 00:06

well done tammy bear i dont think your mum means it but if u have been through a load of shit i bet your mum felt it too.I bet your mum is trying to protect u and your dd..Dont knock it be glad u and your mum can enjoy your dd.U can make some thing of your life with mums help.(childcare etc.it will work out.

Original poster
rainthepain · 02/10/2005 16:17

Im not actually fussing now at 20 weeks have found a balance once I have got used to things. Its just this feeling of violent protectiveness that is not really me. Its almost like a double whammy.. a baby in my baby!

OP posts:
munz · 02/10/2005 16:55

rtp - i'm 23 and PG with my first - mum's just like u fussing etc.. everyday asking if I'm eating properly/feeling OK/if I need to ring her for a cry and be hormonal! lol - on the plus thou she alos says and how about DH, and god only know's how much stuff she's brought, I think it's natural for mums to be like that with their DD's esp if it's your first GC.

tammybear · 02/10/2005 19:28

thanks mother3 although i should have added me and my mum dont have the best of relationships which is why i might find her annoying when she tries to take over, although we did get a bit closer when i had dd, but i definetly appreciate her being there for me and helping out even if she drives me crazy at the best of times lol. i dont think i really expect anything else from my mum which why i dont let it bother me too much.

ooo and rtp, i totally forgot to congratulate both you and your daughter

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