Teenage relationships

[Tinatoes]

DD and bf are 16 and been together 2 years. They both came to me and said they wanted dd to start some form of contraception. I think they are too young - but they are at least being responsible. Should I just be glad they spoke to me anyway?

I know it's not what you want to hear, but I think they are acting responsibly, have a long-term relationship and are 16.... They will do what they want to do anyway, best you are involved with contraception advice, ensure your DD is aware of contra-indications etc. Far, far better than their coming home with the news that you are going to be a Granny. Easy to say when it's not your child, I know x

I think you have many reasons to be grateful, nit least that they are open, honest and sensible.

Have the conversation with then and be equally honest back. It is ok to say ' I do not want you to do this but if you go ahead than this is what you / we need to organize '

Thanks both. I am grateful that they are being responsible and are honest about it, just hard as it isn't what I would want but that's just me being selfish.

Nah, not selfish. We just want to protect our dcs even when they get big

I have perfected the calm understanding tone and manner while inside I scream noooooooooooooo

As a parent, my DD won't be ready until she's at least 47!

OMG I know the day will come for me! I wish you good luck! For now my bucket of sand fits my head very well.

I think you can give yourself a massive pat on the back.

That must have been a really hard thing for them both to do (can't imagine many 16 year old boys able/willing to go to their GF's parents to have that conversation!) so not only is she clearly a very sensible young lady, but she's obviously found herself a lovely young man.

And I know that makes me sound a bit Harry Enfield, but that's what they are - young adults, so I think you have to treat them as such and give them all the information you can including stuff they might not find out elsewhere such as the fact that condoms can split, that you can catch things via oral sex etc etc.

Actually yes...good point. Big respect to the boy and a testament to his parents and your DD for finding someone who appears decent.

There's no way on God's planet I'd have dared go to my GF's parents at 16! A couple of years back when I was single, I still hated meeting my new GF's parents as all that keeps running through my mind is that they must be thinking "you're shagging my daughter!"

Well done you for raising such a sensible child!

fwiw my best friend moved in with her boyfriend when she was 16 and her parents were brave about it: 30 odd years later she and bf are happily married with an adult son- who was born many years later than their initial get-together.

They are both over the age of consent and they have been together a long time. I would be pleased and flattered they have been honest with you and are seeking your advice. All teenagers know they only have to walk into Boots or the local drop-in centre for free condoms, so they needn't have told you at all. After 2 years I think you'd be naive to expect them NOT to sleep together. The simle fact is, it't no longer your business or within your control, whether you like it or not, so be glad they are mature enough to talk to you about it.