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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Rewards for GCSE results

63 replies

mumblechum · 18/10/2010 12:37

Am currently in shock at the stuff ds's mates are supposedly going to "earn" for good GCSE results.

Friend A is going to get a two seater sports car, fully insured if he gets good results (he's been failing in the last six months, so I can kind of see the point in bribing him as a last ditch attempt to avoid resits)

friend B is getting £200 for every A*, £100 for every A, £75 for Bs, and losing £75 for anything below a B. As he's taking 12 GCSE and is a good worker (these lads are all grammar school boys btw so more than capable of getting straight As), his parents could easily be paying out £2,400 in August.

I just think these are a bit mental. I haven't offered anything to ds, as I think the results are their own reward, but would probably scrape up a couple of hundred if he gets outstanding results, but that would look really crap compared to what his friends are getting.

Maybe this should be in AIBU not to chuck thousands of pounds at ds in these circs...

OP posts:

Remotew · 18/10/2010 12:43

YANBU, We went out for a meal on results evening. It was booked before results so hardly a bribe. What we didn't realise on the night was just how well she had done compared to everyone else. Top achiever. Felt a bit mean as we might have stretched to a bottle of bubbly.

Everyone to their own, I suppose.

Monty100 · 18/10/2010 12:45

Mumble - don't fret about what other people are doing. Do what you feel is right and within your means.

I awarded dd some money, I think it was about £200 and she did very well.

Good luck to DS :).

DandyDan · 18/10/2010 12:46

One of our kid's friends was given similar: utterly ridiculous. Ours got a little something but I can't even remember what it was now - a CD they really wanted, a meal out, something as a token but definitely not a "reward".

southeastastralbeing · 18/10/2010 12:46

blimey we just bought ds a new footie shirt

GetOrfMoiLand · 18/10/2010 12:47

I have not even thought about this.

Would not think of rewarding DD for her results. That is scandalous. Bloody hell the reward is the result itself, isn't it, andt he opportunity to go further.

She is NOT getting a post GCSE piss up holiday in newquay either.

GetOrfMoiLand · 18/10/2010 12:48

Would prob go on a meal out. Don't know anyone who has given their child a reward for good results.

southeastastralbeing · 18/10/2010 12:48

if he gets good a levels, we might get the shorts to go with it

MissAnneElk · 18/10/2010 12:49

Some of DD1s friends were given rewards for passing. We didn't. MIL sent her £100 and my mum also sent her £100, but she also sent £100 for DD2 so it wasn't really a reward.
Your son's friends do seem to be getting outrageous incentives. Is he being completely truthful or trying to 'encourage' generosity from you?

Marlinspike · 18/10/2010 12:49

DS ended up with a crop of A*/A/B grades - we had a "points may payments" system, and he ended up with around £100 - certainly not the £2400 or sports car mentioned above! (BTW, would hate to see the insurance quote for that!)

He was motivated by a desire to do well, and by achieving good grades to give himself the widest possible A level and degree choices - I would hope that he wasn't so foolish for cash to be the only motivator.

AMumInScotland · 18/10/2010 12:49

We didn't offer DS anything before his exams. When he got his results, we got him a computer game. And I think we took him out for a nice meal.

And we said "Great stuff, well done!" etc

rubyrubyruby · 18/10/2010 12:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

senua · 18/10/2010 12:52

I have probabbly been done over by DS. He is quite meh and cba about Maths so I promised him a new phone if he got at least an A. So he duly got his A.

Some of his class (who took the exam a year early) have been rewarded by their parents for the A Grade by .....

the demand that they retake to get an A*

eatyourveg · 18/10/2010 12:53

my dm had promised £10 for every A/A* as she has done with all her grandchildren. We took ds out for a meal and bought him some clothes but that wasn't pre-arranged.

Lots of his friends were earning tons for their results

Remotew · 18/10/2010 13:05

Oh and I forgot that she got some congratulations cards and a Thorntons chocolate champagne bottle. She was very happy with these.

Original poster

mumblechum · 18/10/2010 13:08

Am going to check with the mum of friend A (re. the sports car), as it does sound crazy, but then again most of his friends are mega affluent (eg swimming pool AND tennis court are the norm).

OP posts:

MissAnneElk · 18/10/2010 13:12

Abouteve, you have just reminded me that we got DD a Thorntons chocolate congratulations bear. So we were more generous than I remembered.

upahill · 18/10/2010 13:15

I intend to be generous and reward when it comes to GCSE time (If I can still afford it then)

My view is that DS1 can achieve but can be a bit lazy. Often teenagers don't realize the importance of exams and think things will be ok. If I dangle a lucrative carrot and he gets results he can then please himself what he does. But at least he will have the exam results. If he doesn't study hard, well that means he has lucked out.

I am forever resentful that my best friend at school 30 years ago got £100 for passing each exam and to this day my mum never asked about my results!!

webwiz · 18/10/2010 13:18

I really don't like the idea of giving money for GCSE results as I have a lovely old fashioned idea about working hard for the joy of personal achievement . But DD1 was terrible to motivate and in a fit of desperation DH offered her money - we paid her a modest amount in the end and had a nice family meal out.

The problem was that DD2 was very hard working and had to be rewarded by the same regime. You would have thought that would have shut DH up but he offered DD1 £500 for an A at A level - she didn't get any in the end even though she was capable of at least 2. Now what's going to happen in the summer if DD2 gets the 3 A's that are expected in her A level results

sue52 · 18/10/2010 13:27

I bought DD1 a new laptop for good A level results. I can't believe anyone would be daft enough to buy a sports car as a reward. What will that parent do when their child graduates, a house or a small pacific island perhaps.

Remotew · 18/10/2010 13:43

I've promised to buy DD a round the world plane ticket for when she does her gap year, I should have made it conditional on getting good A level results

cat64 · 18/10/2010 13:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Remotew · 18/10/2010 14:01

Only got the one so doesn't apply. I've never offered incentives just a treat for finishing various exams etc. I don't agree with offering rewards, if you do it's probably better of give rewards for doing their best whether it be a C or and A*.

inthesticks · 18/10/2010 14:04

I'm all for a little bribery incentive, but I try to reward effort rather than achievement . Otherwise it can be difficult when the DCs have different levels of ability.
Having said that I have DS1 who is highly motivated and competitive and doesn't really need it and DS2 who is ,frankly, lazy and can't be bothered. I suspect when he comes to GCSE I will be happy to try anything that might make DS2 work.

webwiz · 18/10/2010 14:06

I agree cat64 that the effort should be rewarded rather than the results per se but sometimes you do stuff as parents that are to fix a short term problem without seeing the bigger picture. DD1 and DD2 were very similar in ability at GCSE level and capable of similar results at A level in their chosen subjects. DD1 was lazy and DD2 wasn't. Now there is DS to deal with as well but he follows the DD2 approach to school work.

My argument with DH is that he set the thing up to motivate DD1 (and I went along with it) and it didn't work. DD1 finally learnt to motivate herself when she went to university and then we had to keep it up to be consistent for the younger two.

upahill · 18/10/2010 17:08

Well I suppose paying them to pass is better than paying them to fail

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