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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Gigs ona school night

17 replies

Butterbur · 23/09/2010 16:19

DS1 (16) wants to start going to gigs on a school night. These would involve being out until at least 12:00.

DH and I have said no. We rarely say no to his ventures now, and he has a pretty much free rein at the weekends. We are very generous with giving him lifts too/from parties etc too.

The trouble is he is in the 6th form now, and under the illusion he is an adult.

What does anyone else think?

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 23/09/2010 16:21

I would let him ..if hes tired the next day its up to him to cope with it

noddyholder · 23/09/2010 16:22

I am in teh same situation PITA as he is so grumpy and incapable when tired but otoh the thought of his long face next to me on the sofa if I say no often sways it

webwiz · 23/09/2010 16:33

Well it depends how often he wants to go to them. DD2 (17) goes to occasional gigs on school nights, she's going to the O2 arena for something in November on a Wednesday night but regular things tend to be at the weekend.

RageAgainstTheTeen · 23/09/2010 16:38

I'd let him go and then make lots of noise from 6am

Original poster
Butterbur · 23/09/2010 16:44

I like the making lots of noise at 6:00am idea - although he would sleep through an earthquake!

So nobody thinks I should just say no?

Personally I think this is just opening the floodgates, and he will never be in on a school night once I let him go once. In fact he already has three gigs in mind.

Obviously his schoolwork will soon deteriorate.

OP posts:
webwiz · 23/09/2010 16:58

How is he paying for the tickets? Finance is the limiting factor for DD2.

usualsuspect · 23/09/2010 17:00

They have to take responsibility for their own school work at some point imo

Tortington · 23/09/2010 17:02

i would take the middle and say 'occasionally'

maybe once a week at very most

RageAgainstTheTeen · 23/09/2010 17:04

I'd think it would be a good idea to let it known that he can't be out to gigs during the week all the time,it will effect his schoolwork and he'll be knackered (and no doubt moody-deep joy!)

Maybe agree to a couple of midweek gigs a month?

usualsuspect · 23/09/2010 17:11

I would go for occasionally as well ..how can he afford to go to loads?

cat64 · 23/09/2010 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

elterwater · 23/09/2010 17:43

Does he want to go to gigs on school nights just for the sake of it? I mean does he have so many favourite bands on almost every school night somewhere? What type of gigs? Local not-well-known bands in pubs or bands in arenas etc?

Original poster
Butterbur · 23/09/2010 17:52

Finance may well be the limiting factor, as he hasn't any. Plus these gigs are not in town as such, but in London, so there's the cost of travel too (and even later nights).

Anyway, if we agree to this, he'll only find something even worse to want to do.

He's very academic, but doesn't value his abilities at all. He thinks that good career things will just drop into his lap, and he needn't make any effort, as "boys like him don't end up in dead end jobs". Well they can!

I find it all very wearing TBH.

OP posts:
DandyDan · 23/09/2010 18:42

Let him go, and he takes the consequences of tiredness.

And not every week, but on occasions. One of mine went to some weekday gigs during sixth form and it didn't harm at all. It's part of them becoming independent, and lack of money will necessarily restrict how often this happens anyway.

The only side-issue is the getting to and fro, if you are needed as a taxi to or from the venue (unless he is going with mates); and the late nights for yourself, keeping an ear out for the front door Smile

alexsdad · 24/09/2010 10:22

Let him go. Gigs don't come with Sky+, so you have to go when they are on. I know regrets are not a good thing, but there were concerts I had a chance to go to when (much) younger which I now really wish I had gone for, despite midweek/difficult to get to venues. I really can't imagine that ultimately they would have negatively affected my school work, but would have provided memories to last a lifetime.

Seeing the same groups on their retirement-funding-reformed-group tours just isn't the same thing.

Stricnine · 24/09/2010 11:58

My DD (14) goes to the odd gig on a school night - the local current 'favourite' venue chucks them out at 10pm so that it can re-open for the night at 10:30pm which is quite a good arrangement - I pick her up and we're usually home between 10:30-11pm so not too late... tired-ness is her responsibility :) (and so far she's better than me in the morning - they've got bags of stamina for things they want to do!!)

mumeeee · 24/09/2010 12:18

I would let him.Going to an occasional gig on a school night should be fine. DD3 used to do this at 16 and although she was tired still managed to get up for college

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