DS stealing from me

[hsg]

DS is 11 yrs old and has been stealing money on and off from us for a couple of years. started when he was being bullied in school - thought me and hubbie had dealt with it but every now and then money goes missing, when confronted he used to tell lies and swear blind that he hadn't done it but he's not a convincing lyer (thankfully) and would always end up admitting it. recently has started admitting it without the lies which he is always praised for but basically i'm out of ideas ..... we've tried the sit down and explain why it's wrong, he's always been punished when he's done it (no telly, computer, wii etc). He's done it again tonight and I don't know what i'm doing wrong... any advice???

You're leaving money where he can get at it. He can't help it at the moment so you help him!

I agree, make sure he had no access to your money.

What does he use it for?

If he really can't help himself, and its a psychological thing,I think it might be a good idea to seek professional help.

Does he get pocket money? Is there peer pressure to have more money - is there something specific he wants the money for? Presumably he knows he'll be caught and that you'll notice - is it attention-seeking?

thanks for the posts - given me some things to think about. will consider pocket money but maybe in a couple of weeks time - feels a bit like rewarding bad behaviour at the mo.

We went through the same thing for a few years..at first the odd pound here and there, and culminating with him stealthily emptying my piggy which had over £100 in:( (only admitted it when I threatened to call the police)

We bought a combination safe. Didn't discuss it..he knew WHY and kept all money in there. We found DS1 was stealing to be popular.. he bought pop, sweets junk for his friends. We decided to give him an allowance which he had to work for, and things improved, and now..older teen, has a part time job and the problems vanished. (Still use the safe tho as it was a good thing to have anyway!)

I suspect your DS may still be struggling with bullying, or the after effects. He knows it's wrong but the habit is there.Try finding out if he is 'buying' friends and help him find a way to earn some money if he doesn't have any, as it may help.
Hang in there!