My 17 year old son wants to join the Army!!!

[sunflowerja]

My son wants to join the army, I'm worried sick.
I've tried for 3 years to try and put him off but I've had to accept that this is what he wants to do.

we have taken him to the recruitment office to start the process off.

Are there any other mums/parents out there who are in the same position as us.

I watch the news and see the fallen soldiers come home in boxes!!! its heartbreaking.

We've been to Families Day today which meant we got to see DS1 do "Drill" and receive his cap badge. They did some displays and we saw where they sleep and eat and met the permanent staff that look after them.

DS1 has lost a lot of weight. I didn't recognise him at first. He was confident and sure of what he was doing and his bed space was immaculate, unlike his room!

He's really, really enjoying himself which has made me much happier.

I sympathise with the OP. You can't do anything about it but he may not be accepted.

One of my husband's grandsons, now 17, has lived with us since he was 14. I spent 8 months last year supporting him in his attempt to join the Army as a junior soldier. I could see he was well suited to the life, it was what he had always wanted and that he would benefit hugely. He's in the cadets and he loves it. There was a risk he would be badly hurt or killed but I knew the risk was small so I helped him with his application.

Time and time again he was sent on development days and he gave up half his Easter holiday to go on a regimental initiation course. He came home really excited only to receive terrible appraisals that he didn't understand. His Army support worker was a waste of space and he got no hint about where he was going wrong. Eventually, 6 months into the process, they sent him to Selection and he failed the medical on a technicality. I have never seen a child more disappointed.

He appealed. It took over 2 months to sort out the appeal because nobody at the army could (or would) tell us the process. We paid for him to see a consultant who said he was ideally suited to Army life and the consultant's report was ignored because it wasn't a GP's report. By the time his appeal was FINALLY accepted he had started college since the alternative was to bum around until the army made their decision. He was then told he'd be expected to drop out of college if his application was successful and join up in March. The alternative was to restart his application from scratch as an adult soldier, although he would still be only 17 when he joined up.

He was completely alienated by the whole process and is now trying to see what he can do instead. My feeling was that if the Army couldn't manage the application process better, I was more than a bit worried about how they would protect him in the theatre of war. So I was glad he'd changed his mind.

My stepson (20) has now decided to join up. If I tell you he has qualifications in child care you may agree with me that he isn't really cut out for the life of a soldier. The Army disagree and as long as he puts on a stone in weight (there are weight limits) he'll be in. I wish I could talk him out of it. My husband has already lost one child to a hospital acquired infection and if his son comes home in a box, he will die of a broken heart. My biggest fear is that he will come home disabled.

Just to update! Well its countdown, 7 weeks today (Mothers Day) we take Thomas up to Harrogate to begin his Army life. We went up on Jan 17th for the Open Day and must say it was very impressive. He still is hell bent on the Infantry, which worries the hell out of me. He is excited though I think beginning to feel a little apprehensive, its a huge huge step. I am scared for him but also proud of him at the same time. He will have so many opportunities he will never have here, there is nothing else he wants to do. I send him with my blessing but will be forever praying for his safety. xx

I've found this really interesting, as my own DS is really torn as to whether to join up or not. He was in the ATC from 13 and absolutely loved it, then swapped to army cadets from 16 to 18. Now 19 and at Uni, he is in the OTC, which is exactly the same as reservists now, except won't be called upon to fight.

Last summer they were trying to persuade him to join the military intelligence side, he was driven around for two weeks to various bases and somewhere in London, but he said it was a bit dispiriting. Some of the men in it were very disillusioned. They said the finest brains were gathered together to advise the army, then the army listened, then they were ignored all the advice they were given and did their own thing anyway. So now he is a bit stumped. Still, he has another year and a half before he needs to make his mind up. And it keeps him fit, he is a dab hand at packing, and he knows how to clean his room even if he never does it... Which reminds me, he must get a haircut tomorrow morning, I had better message him or he will forget. He went back at the weekend with a head of a curls and a moustache after 5 weeks at home! I did suggest a hairnet but he didn't think he would get away with it!

I talked mine out of this at a young age by telling them horror stories.

I talked mine out of this at a young age by telling them horror stories.

Have you done the same with other careers?

The thought of it worried me at first, of course it did, but I would hate DS to spend the rest of his life thinking 'If only...'. I was an accountant, pushed into it by my family. I'd rather he joined the forces than do that.